ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

RIP - I Love You Bumpa!

Updated on June 7, 2013

A Letter to my Grandfather - My Eulogy to him today...

This is a letter I wrote, about a year ago, to the one man in my life that I knew, without a doubt, I could always count on. He was my gentle giant when I needed compassion, my stern voice when I needed discipline, and my absolute proof that true love existed! This letter is for you Bumpa....

I can’t stop thinking about our visit yesterday. You looked so frail, so fragile, and so, so, small. But you said something to me, in the middle of that visit, which put everything into perspective. You looked at me with a hint of recognition and said “I can’t complain…I’ve lived a good life!”

That statement alone knocked away any sadness I was feeling for you, allowing in a flood of wonderful memories of the great life you did have, and all of the times I got to share that life with you.

You have always been my hero…for as long as I can remember. You were the one man in my life whose feelings for me I never had to doubt. There was never any question in my mind as to who you (as a person) really were, and what you stood for. You always seemed like a strong, gentle giant.

The funny part of it, though, is that Nana always seemed to have the power. Whenever I saw the two of you together, she was the one in control. She was the person who ran everything…at least that’s what I thought as a child. I never realized until after she died that you had relinquished that power to her…that all you needed from her was her love, and there was nothing you wouldn’t have done for her. You loved her that much!

I remember you telling me the story about having walked 17 miles to have your first date with Nana. You were angry with me that day (or more so, with my boyfriend at the time) because I was begging Mom to let me borrow the car to pick him up a couple of towns over. You said “If he cared enough about you, he’d find a way to get to you himself…that’s what I did to see your Grandmother.” But shortly afterwards Nana ratted you out by informing me that your first date consisted of you borrowing your brother’s car to drive her home from a fair. So you told a little white lie…I guess you loved me that much!

Do you remember the day you yelled at me for going into your fridge for a pickle without asking? I do, as clearly as if it were yesterday! You walked into the kitchen and caught me with my hand in the pickle jar. It was the only time you ever yelled at me, hollering “You don’t go into other people’s fridges without asking…that’s not polite!” You scared the heck out of me that day. Fast forward a couple of decades and I was sitting on your couch watching TV while Nana crocheted. You walked into the living room and asked if I wanted an ice cream (probably because I was eyeing the one you were eating.) When I quickly answered “Yes” you gave me a puzzled look and said “Well then why the heck didn’t you just go in and get one?” A little confused, but excited at the same time (because I no longer had to ask) I went into your freezer and got my own ice cream! You have no idea how privileged I felt because I no longer had to ask permission to go into your fridge...even though I was in my late 30's!

I can't even count how many times I followed you, and everyone else you could wrangle in, for a game of backyard bocce. We would spend hours going around in circle, chasing that little white ball. It wasn't until I married an Italian man that I found out, that my entire life, I had been playing the Lithuanian (Your) version of bocce!


Gosh, I still remember how mad Nana was at you the day of Uncle Jim’s wedding. You had had one too many Manhattans (Straight Up), but you were so funny, and so goofy…and boy, was she fuming! I think she scared me, more than you did, when she was mad. I rarely saw her angry, but when I did she was a force to be reckoned with…and you just stood there and listened to her, without ever flinching…just like a gentle giant! To this day I haven’t met a man who can compare to you....you set that bar pretty high!

It broke my heart watching you mourn after Nana passed away. I had never seen anyone so lost before. Although I knew, because of all of the pain she had endured, that she was much better off, I always wished you could have had a little more time with her. But that was 10 years ago! And to hear you say yesterday “I can’t complain…I’ve lived a good life” was exactly what I needed to hear from you of all people. You have always made me feel happy, loved, and especially lucky to have been born into this family. But yesterday you gave me one more treasure to carry with me…you shared with me your immense sense of pride, which to me was just as powerful as the unconditional love you shared with your family! I want to live the remainder of my life as gracefully as you have lived yours, and you are still my hero!

I love you Bumpa!

And, in answer to the questions that I'm sure you're asking right now:

  • Yes, I know how old you are...almost 96!
  • It took me about 2 and 1/2 hours to get here.
  • I now live in New Hampshire, and
  • I'm sure this question was exclusive to me in the past decade or so "So who are you married to now?" -- Well, his name is Larry, he was privileged enough to have met you a couple of times, and he definitely meets the very high standards you had set (in my mind) as to the true definition of a good man!


Rest in Peace Bumpa, and please send my love to Nana and Uncle John!

Somebody couldn't pronounce Grandpa, somewhere along the line, hence the name Bumpa!

This is me with my grandfather (yesterday) and my youngest granddaughter.
This is me with my grandfather (yesterday) and my youngest granddaughter.
The love of his life!
The love of his life!
Bumpa and one of his brothers
Bumpa and one of his brothers
His family..Uncle Joe, Bumpa, Uncle Jim, Aunt Jan, Nan, and Mom
His family..Uncle Joe, Bumpa, Uncle Jim, Aunt Jan, Nan, and Mom
The whole gang!
The whole gang!
Shelby, Ashlynn, and Bumpa...my two older granddaughters with their great, great grandfather!
Shelby, Ashlynn, and Bumpa...my two older granddaughters with their great, great grandfather!

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • Wendi M profile imageAUTHOR

      Wendi M 

      5 years ago from New Hampshire

      There were a lot of memories being brought up today...it was nice, and sad, at the same time. And I made it through the eulogy without crying the the whole thing.

    • profile image

      Alicia 

      5 years ago

      Love it Mom!!! We are going to miss him!! I know I always catch myself thinking of the summer nights playing out front of the apartments in the grass while nana and him would sit on the porch listening to the scanner. Great memories

    • Wendi M profile imageAUTHOR

      Wendi M 

      6 years ago from New Hampshire

      That's why I called him a gentle giant...he always seemed huge!

    • profile image

      Alicia 

      6 years ago

      Aww mom!!! When I was little I remember sitting on his lap outside in cohoes out on the porch wwhile nana listened to the police scanner...thinking the whole time that theres no way anybody else was as tall as him.

    • Wendi M profile imageAUTHOR

      Wendi M 

      6 years ago from New Hampshire

      Thank you resspenser. My grandfather truly is a spectacular man!

    • resspenser profile image

      Ronnie Sowell 

      6 years ago from South Carolina

      As a grandfather, I can only hope to be remembered and cherished this much. Great job!

    • Wendi M profile imageAUTHOR

      Wendi M 

      6 years ago from New Hampshire

      He is, and always will be, the best man I've ever known!

    • profile image

      msjo1127 

      6 years ago

      That's my DAD! Beautiful job Wendi. You have the talent of putting into words what everyone else is feeling. Wish Nana was here to read it and that Bumpa could understand how much he is loved by everyone.

    • profile image

      Cheri 

      6 years ago

      So sweet! I was always looking for a man to love me like he loved Nana. He was always pulling out that picture of her, when they first met. He was a great husband and still is the BEST bumpa!!!!! Thanks for putting into words.

      Love you, Cheri

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)