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I Need More Followers

Updated on August 12, 2010
I need more followers.
I need more followers.
This is dedicated to everyone who follows me!
This is dedicated to everyone who follows me!
The system works!
The system works!
Woo hoo!
Woo hoo!
I still need more followers!
I still need more followers!
Wooo Hoo!! 500!!
Wooo Hoo!! 500!!

More Followers I Need

I Need More Followers. If you already follow me, go get a family member. I care about you, but if you bring me more fans I'll care about you even more. If you're not yet following me, please read on as I explain how important you are to me.

Some hubbers have upwards of 1000 followers. According to FactMonster.com:

"Each NFL team is allowed to have 53 players on its roster (plus a five-player practice squad). The NFL has 32 teams, making a total of 1,696 players. "

Therefore a hubber with 1000 followers has an organization that is 58.96% of the average National Football League. That's impressive.

I want that.

I Want More Followers than Congress People

The Congress of the United States consists of 100 Senators and 435 Representatives. I want more. I will not rest until I have at least 536 HubPages followers. Then I will rest a little. I will stop and smell the roses while enjoying a mocha latte with light foam.

Together we can do this.

I Want More Followers than I have Credit Cards

Last year the average American human received 623 free offers for credit cards. I want at least that many followers; we can all get credit cards with our faces on them. We can all go to Starbucks together and charge luscious biscotti.

This hubber has way too many followers
This hubber has way too many followers

I Want More HubPages Fans than Hubber Henry

I mean, really, the guy is just way too existential to be taken seriously. Who actually reads his stuff?

We all like him. He's the life of the party at HubCon. He lets us fish in his pond. He's just not worthy of massive fannage.

You Need Motivation to Follow Me?

Join the teeming throngs, the huddled masses, the caffeine-fueled reading rainbow maniacs who charge out of bed each morning knowing they belong to something worldwide. Be a part of something. Don't stand on the sidelines wondering what everyone's discussing 'round the water cooler. Jump in with both feet. Be all you can be. Make me all that I can be. Let's be something together.

Act Now Before It's Too Late

Very soon I will be closing by account to new followers. My aura can handle a limited number of sycophants. Don't miss out. You may wake up one morning and look back wistfully on what might have been. You could have been a member of my Hub Posse. The water is warm and the tide is high.

You must choose, but choose wisely.

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