Never Ever Ever Plan Your Life!
My plan is to write about personal infertility struggles that many people deal with but often don't talk about. One in eight women have trouble conceiving ! This is the introduction to my journey through this process. I am one of the eight. Don't be afraid to fight for what you want.
I thought I had it all figured out. I would graduate college, get an awesome teaching job, get married and then become s baby making machine. I thought I would marry my college sweetheart. Well, as it turned out , I didn't have one! I loved college don't get me wrong and I made life long friends there but none that I would spend the test of my life with, that's for sure! I did graduate and I did get a teaching job, but my dream of getting married and having kids was on the slow path. As I watched all my friends and family members get married and have babies,my plan of gettkng married and becoming a mommy seemed very distant. I thought for sure my plan to have 4-5 children was slowly coming to an end. Then, finally, I met my husband in my late 20's. So after we dated for two years and got married - I felt we needed to " hurry up" and have babies. I was obsessed with starting a family- and thankfully he agreed with me. My plan was to get pregnant on our honeymoon. Now as I look back, it's hilarious that I thought getting pregnant would be so easy. I mean my whole life I thought people got married and boom got pregnant. Boy, oh boy, was I wrong. After trying for a few months, I went to my Dr asking for help and they wouldn't do anything until it had been a year of us trying. This is pretty standard procedure, so I didn't really think anything of it at the time. I still had hope every month of gettinf pregnant and every month my husband and I were disappointed. After the year passed, I went back to my gynecologist and she recommended taking a small dosage 50mg of a drug called Clomid and having timed intercourse. They Dr would tell you when to take the clomid for 5 days and then which days to have intercourse. This seemed simple enough. She said to try it for three months and if still nothing - then she reccommended additional testing. So with that I took the clomid with hopes that this was now a fresh start and that a baby was on its way! Well, three months came and went and still there was disappointing pregnancy tests filling out trashcan. I will say that while taking the 50 mg of clomid, I didn't experience any side effects. ( I will blog later about 100mg of clomid- that nasty bitch!) After three negative pregnaby tests, I called the Dr and she told me to call an infertility specialtist. That was it- after all those years going to the gynecologist - that's all they could tell me was to call someone else. I was mad and sad and scared. The word infertility is a scary scary word. In a state of total fear, I found a specialist at a hospital I liked and made an appointment with him. We had to wait forever get an appointment, but finally it was time and I was trying to be hopeful all over again. He told us to have genetic testing done on both my husband and I and recommended a " dye test." This is a test that they shoot dye into your uterus and tubes to see if anything is blocked. I was terrified because of course I googled it and freaked myself out. It was not painful- just mild cramping. Again we waited months to be seen for genetic testing- nothing was found. Then the "dye test" and again nothing was found. It all sounds good, nothing is wrong with you . That's great! Then they had my husband give a sperm analysis- and again all was wonderful! Great! So, after all this it is explained to us that we have what is called " unexplained infertility!" So still no answers as to why I am not getting pregnant - but my husband and I are perfect! Well, at this moment I wished that they would have found something on the tests they did. Sounds funny, I know, but at least they would have known what to fix. This seemed like a dead end. The specialist then recommended clomid/ (again!) and using ovulation kits to track cycle. We tried this again ( at the same dosage) - and still nothing. At th time, I was getting frustrated with the Practice and didn't agree with what they were saying or how they were handling my care. It had been a year at th infertility practice and still no results and really not doing anything else "new."bi just kept telling myself I didn't make it this far to only make it this far! So in frustration , my husband and I found another infertility practice - a much smaller practice that we loved and decided to continue our journey and dream of starting a family with them. Looking back, this was the best decision we made. Little did we know, we still had quite a journey ahead of us .
Do you know someone affected by infertility ?
infertility awareness week has passed ( April) but its just a reminder that it exists!