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How to Plan for Parenthood
A Word Of Caution
This article is not claiming that all the parents go through the same ordeal. There are some who do not even need to try and become successful and there are some who are not ready to accept the responsibilities of parenthood so are ready to wait longer. What is mentioned below is something very commonly seen with couples who want to have a baby and don't know the reason for the delay. I am trying to highlight the side which is rarely seen by others but only faced by the couples who go through the pain of not having the baby or having to wait for long to have a baby.
The Utopian world ( The First Year)
The first year of marriage is dedicated to pure bliss and enjoyment with the life partner so the thought of having a child does not come in mind. The couple is so immersed in conjugal bliss that they hardly think about anything else apart from having a great time together. One can say that they are in a Utopian world where they only see happiness and love around them. It is that period of life where the most important thing is togetherness and happiness. One can say that each and every couple live in the Utopian world of perfection. Everything done and said looks wonderful and full of love. Every action is cherished and every moment becomes a memorable moment.
The Bubble Bursts
Things go smooth till the decision of having a baby is made. The first couple of months or the first year after the decision of becoming parents are made goes in trying. The couples are very optimistic and positive of becoming parents soon. They still make love although there is a conscious effort of becoming parents soon. But slowly the scene changes. Hope changes into despair. That is the time when the bubble bursts and the reality hits hard at the couple. Making love changes to trying for baby. The fun of the whole act vanishes and timings are fixed for the success rates to be high. Different times and positions are suggested by different people and all the suggestions seem to be right. Everything and every suggested ways are tried. And after every cycle hopes rise for success and dips to sadness and despair.Regular fights become a common phenomenal in the house and there is always an atmosphere of tension in the house.
Denial Mode and Counseling
When no suggestion works that is when the idea of going to a consultant is given to the couples. But it is not easy to accept the fact that either or both have some physical problem. No one is ready to accept the fact that he or she is the reason for the failure. So the couple go through a long period of denial mode. But there comes a time when they accept that it is better to know who has the problem and whether it can be cured and that is when they go for a counseling. A thorough checkup is actually mentally traumatizing and the wait for the result is maddening. The fear of being the culprit for not having the baby is unbearable.
But counseling helps a lot and irrespective of the outcome of the check up the couples start seeing the right dimension and have a positive outlook towards things. It is very important to have the right type of guidelines when couples plan to have a baby. It is not advisable to contact friends and relatives and go through the self help guide if the couples fail to conceive after trying for a certain period of time. A lot of research has to be done before suggesting the right path and only a professional can help.
All's Well that Ends Well
Every couple trying for a baby either naturally or through artificial mode does become successful, that is the beauty of nature. If by chance they are not successful then there is a very noble option called adoption( this is a topic which I will discuss about later separately). We need to think positive and have faith on the all mighty called GOD. And after becoming a proud parent of a girl or a boy when couples look back at the way they behaved and the so called tough times they had, all they can say is All’s Well that Ends Well.