ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

If I had the courage....

Updated on March 19, 2014

Not a Nice Person

So I'm banging on the computer,
knowing everyone wants to go home,
but I don't.

My kids have no say.
They have to wait on me unless they
want to take the bus.

The one I'm really 'fixing' is Dahlia.
And I shouldn't be doing it.

But I'm doing it.

I'm sitting in my husband, Don's, office. He tries to talk to me in his sweet voice.
I don't even look at him any more.
He's hideous to my eyes.
What did I see in him?
Money?
Position?
Okay, he wasn't that grotesque when we married; he being thirty six and me being eighteen and I think that was his prime...
But he's sixty now.

He is overweight, those hideous warts on his face, his hair thin and grey. He is repulsive to me. I hate to look at him.

Don is taking our youngest child, Joey, to the park. He's trying to bond.
Isn't that nice?
Our eldest son is over there. I doubt Don has spoken to Jeff as a father would for the past twenty years. Fred, who is pacing, tired from his long High School Day, never even got two years of attention.

Twenty years ago Don couldn't keep his pants on.
He had lovers all over the City.
I was home with two small boys, pregnant with their sister, Mandy.

Twenty years ago, a life time; I was a twenty two year old middle aged woman.

A woman who could not leave.

Bringing me to Dahlia

Dahlia had been married to Bryan.
He was just like Don, but there
was one small difference.

Dahlia had married him when she
was twenty two and he was twenty
three.

And the first time Bryan didn't
come home at night, Dahlia
sent their two sons to his mother
and went on with her life without him.

I knew Bryan well, he had been Don's Best Friend. Dahlia had long left him when I came into the story. I couldn't believe she had been in school with Don, for she looked ten years younger.

She looked....

I glance at her sitting on the chair waiting for me to stop banging on the computer. Dahlai has no transportation. I'm to drive her home. Isn't that nice? That is why she is waiting for me to go to the car, to drive to Mandy's school and collect her. Her last class was over thirty minutes ago. I should have left forty minutes ago. But I didn't.

I didn't and could blame Dahlia....


Dahlia

I know Bryan's version of the story. Know that they divorced before I met Don. I know that Dahlia did have a lover at some point between then and now. But Dahlia is a size one, and I can bearly squeeze into a nine.

Dahlia is usually happy and relaxed, and I am usually angry and tired.

She works in the same building as Don and since her accident isn't driving, so that's why I'm the chauffeur.

I like her, don't get me wrong. I do like her. But I also hate her.
Hate her for looking younger and happier than I do.
Hate her for having the courage to have walked out of a bad marriage.

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)