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If My Husband is Mr. Mom, What Does That Make Me?

Updated on June 22, 2012

I'm a mom. I work full time. Never thought those two things were contradictory. My husband is a dad. He stays home with our two kids. It's an arrangement that works best for our family.

While this family dynamic isn't new, we still get comments from time to time. My favorite came a few months back when someone called my husband "Mr. Mom." We laughed it off at the time, but ever since then, I haven't quite been able to shake that comment from my mind.

At first I thought about what that comment meant for my husband and how it made him feel. I sensed the implication that staying at home was only for "moms" and all the sexist baggage that carries with it.

But, then I started hearing the unspoken implications in that moniker. If my husband is Mr. Mom, what does that make me? Hmmmm, last I checked I was still Mom! Just because I work, in no way means I'm not still mom. Just ask my kids - they will certainly not be confused on which one of us is "mom" and which one of us is "dad".

I'm sure the person that made the comment never gave it a second thought. But, I've thought a lot about it. Working moms face enough challenges, let's not start implying that their very position as "mom" is at stake. I hold a lot of titles - wife, sister, daughter, friend, neighbor - but mom is not a title I am every going to give up! Don't think you can take that one away from me and give it to my husband because of the way we have chosen to provide and care for our children.

So, let's stop this pathetic attempt at humor of calling stay-at-home-dads "Mr. Mom". Dad will always be dad. And, mom will always be mom. Our division of duties will never change this. I am proud of my family and my contributions, as mom, to my wonderful family. I will hold steadfast to my title as Mom and I will come home at the end of a hard day and kiss Dad and the kids hello.

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      Written Up 6 years ago from Oklahoma City, OK

      Jasontoheal, that's awesome that you can be there for your kids!

      Crystal tatum. Glad you enjoyed hub! You're right, we can't win. Seems there is always a critic, but I love the way this works for my family.

    • Crystal Tatum profile image

      Crystal Tatum 6 years ago from Georgia

      Really great commentary on the sexist views that still permeate our society. I knew a couple with a similar arrangement...the father still worked but participated in a lot of household chores and was an equal participant in caring for the children. Oddly, the women acquaintances of this couple were the most critical of this man's participation in family life, calling him a hen-pecked husband, etc. It seems you can't win - it's considered unmanly and even unnatural for the man to do certain things, and if he doesn't do these things, well, that's not good either. I enjoyed this and agree with you wholeheartedly. Voted up.

    • profile image

      jasontoheal 6 years ago

      Thanks for posting. I can totally relate. I get some wierd looks from people when I try to explain that I stay at home looking after my kids. I can see them thinking... but you're not a woman...

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