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Improve Emotional Intelligence in Your Children So They Can Handle Any Situation in Life

Updated on March 14, 2017

An expert said that parenting is purely based on hunches. There are also experts who firmly say that there is no perfect way of parenting. This means you, as a parent, should not aim and wait to become a perfect parent. Though you may be guided by your hunches, hunches can never be enough. You may have to get started at some point of time. You may initially face issues but as you move along, you will find it easy to handle things.

Psychologists firmly opine that emotional intelligence is what is lacking in many people. That is the reason employers test the emotional quotient of employees before hiring them because if employees have a high E.Q., they will be able to handle any situation without panicking. In short, you must improve the emotional intelligence of your kids so they can handle life situations when they grow up. No other approach can be as effective as positive parenting in improving the emotional intelligence in kids.

Though the simple definition of positive parenting is adopting positive ways to raise children, it is wrong to limit it to this definition. In fact, positive parenting is much better than helicopter parenting, parenting by imposing discipline and lenient way of parenting.

If you decide to try positive parenting with your kids, you are not only in charge of them but should be ready to negotiate with them also so you impart leadership skills in them quite easily. According to Maureen Healy, who has authored the book "Growing Happy Kids," "Positive parenting is an approach that is honest and optimistic. It cultivates a strong emotional connection with your child that sets him or her on a path with greater chances of happiness.”

The following tips may help you do positive parenting effectively.

1. Never shy away from your responsibility of spending time with your children

If your aim is to improve the emotional intelligence in your kids, you must spend quality time with them. You may be a busy person but if you fail to spend one-on-one time with your children, you cannot expect them to grow as responsible adults. Katharine C. Kersey, EdD, who has authored the book, "The 101s: A Guide to Positive Discipline," advises that you must be with your children for at least a minimum duration of 15 minutes a day. Kersey adds "Whisper in their ear how wonderful they are, how much you love them. … It's the best investment you can make in your child."

2. Shift your focus to their positive behaviors

In general, parents keep telling their kids not to do certain things or not to talk in a particular way. This means that by focusing on the negative behaviors of their kids, they lose sight of their good behaviors and fail to acknowledge such behaviors. Positive parenting demands that you must praise and appreciate your children as often as possible. When the kids behave improperly or utter unwanted words, it is better to ignore them or pretend as if you have not heard or seen them.

3. Communicate frequently

Listen to what they talk. Children may come out with many questions. There is no point in getting irritated. Instead, speak to them gently and try to answer their questions without losing your cool.

4. Help siblings learn how to overcome issues between them

There may be fights between siblings. But you must help them learn how to resolve such issues. Amy McCready, author of "The Me, Me, Me Epidemic," suggests "If you have to get involved, don't choose sides, but ask questions that will help them figure out a solution that all parties can feel good about."

5. Put in place simple family rules

Ensure that the rules of your family are simple. Children may find it difficult to remember complex or contradictory rules. Therefore, put in place a short list of simple rules that are easy to understand and implement. If they know the consequences of breaking the rules, they may hesitate to do so. But when they break the rules, you must never "give in," says McCready.


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    • denise.w.anderson profile image

      Denise W Anderson 

      20 months ago from Bismarck, North Dakota

      Positive parenting is the best way to raise emotionally healthy children. Teaching them the way we want them to be rather than just punishing them for the way we don't want them to be is much more effective. Having raised seven children ourselves, my husband and I found that our children needed to develop and grow personally in their ability to make decisions. The more we helped them in this process, the more responsible and emotionally healthy they were.

    • Marko Todoric profile image

      Marko Todoric 

      20 months ago from Novi Sad

      Thank you for this great hub, Raman.

      In my opinion, the biggest problems with parents nowadays is that they are too busy to speak with their kids and most importantly to listen what their children have to say.

      Even if you don't know how to help them just talk to them.

      I found a great article relating this subject and I highlighted this part:

      Kids need to understand that emotions can be hard to deal with, but you can always do something about it. Assure them that talking to a trusted person is the best way to vent out negative emotions. “Everybody gets sad sometimes. I’m always there with you, so tell me what’s making you sad.”



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