- Family and Parenting
International Vs. Domestic Adoption
How Does One Decide?
My family is going through the process of adoption right now. It is our first time. Honestly, I was not prepared for the questions people would ask us about this subject. I guess I anticipated a pat on the back for doing something so noble. I received a few. Very few.
There have even been some who have questioned our motives or the decision to adopt at all! This I cannot understand. For those families who have felt the desire to give a child a home, there is no decision to be made. While I cannot speak for them all, I can say that the many whom I have met, were motivated by love and the desire to lift a child out of poverty and obscurity and give them a loving, stable home, and a chance at a normal life.
One of the biggest questions we were asked about our adoption decision was if we were going to adopt domestically or internationally. For me, this question is understandable, but I am not sure why it is one of the first to be asked. We never struggled with this decision. For ourselves, we have decided to seek and international adoption, but that decision came after the decision to adopt. This article is an attempt to help those thinking about adoption to understand that the decision is theirs and those watching an adoption understand why someone may choose domestic or international, and what difference it really makes.
Domestic/International: What's the Difference?
Truthfully, the difference between domestic and international adoption depends on your point or angle of view. Let me give you a few angles from which to view this topic.
Financial Point of View
When in come to the financial burden of adoption, domestic adoption can certainly come out ahead: especially when adopting an older child or a child with special needs. Often these special children will come with a Social Security Disability check, or in other cases a monthly subsidy check from the government for help with medical and psychological treatment. In some states the local government will pay all the fees for the adoption when adopting an older child.
International adoption, on the other hand can be very expensive, with the only help coming from various grant agencies. It is not uncommon for an international adoption to run into the tens of thousands of dollars. However, for both international and domestic adoption, the US Government has just extended the adoption tax credit which helps adoptive families recoup some of these expenses in the tax year after the adoption is finalized.
Social Point of View
When it comes to international vs. domestic adoption, the subject of inter-racial families is raised. Many people are uncomfortable with anything that does not look like a "traditional family". When adopting internationally you may be questioned as to why you would want to bring a child from another country into the US when there are so many children here waiting for a home. You may face scrutiny and criticism for adopting a child whose skin color is different from your own. This is more acceptable in some families than others, and you should weigh the impact of this decision carefully. We had this discussion with our family and close friends before proceeding, and it is recommended that anyone considering and inter-racial adoption do the same.
The Child's Point of View
To the child waiting to be adopted, they don't see any of the previous things. They don't view themselves as domestic or international. They only see themselves as without a family. I choose to have this point of view as well. I don't view them by their border or nationality. I view them as a child without a family.
So, when trying to decide where you will adopt from, perhaps this article can give you some things to think about. For my family, the choice was not a choice between where one territory started and another ended. It was just a choice to adopt. I admire anyone who will open their home to a child, regardless of nationality, location, or skin color. For us, the door to international adoption stood open, and we walked through. Simple as that. What is your story? How did you decide?
Our Adoption Blog
- Our Road to Adoption...And Back Again
This is our adoption blog. We are just trying to chronicle our journey for those who may come after us.