- Family and Parenting
Interpretation of Confusion: Upbringing
How does your upbringing affect who you turn into? Is that a great factor and can you be doomed by it? Are you set up to have a great future or a suffering future based on upbringing?
Obviously no one knows the real answer and all we can do is examine and take educated guesses. Based on the analysis and the educated guesses we can then determine a pattern. This pattern is not by any means a formula to success of failure because in the course of someone’s life there are many determining factors which can change one’s life to any direction. I’m trying to avoid the later stages of life, post puberty to be more exact, and focus on how your upbringing in the most delicate and lesson learning phase of one’s life affects you later on in life.
Do kids from divorced parents already enter life in disadvantage because of their family’s situation? Do kids from a single parent suffer more? Do kids of a homosexual couple grow up “shunned upon”? Do kids brought up by their grandparents have an advantage in society? Are kids of a prostitute who’s father is a criminal automatically fail in life? Are kids in shanty towns already doomed to go to jail?
I believe the answer to all of the questions above to be Yes! And No! For sure psychologists have pie charts for all of the above and will most likely tell you what the odds are, but there always seems to be a story which indicates the opposite! You see, under these analysis humans are treated as “things” and not people who can be taught. The ones who make it are self-taught and manage to grasp the idea of thought change, others need help getting there and then there are the helpless ones…..yes there are people on this planet that are too stupid to be helped….sorry it happens….and it has nothing to do with geography, status, ethnicity, religion or race…..all of these consist of small groups of people who are healthy human beings but completely ignorant and just plain stupid which on many occasions we wonder how they’ve made it alive to this point.
We can an analyze many different aspects of upbringing which affect one’s personality based on region, customs, religion, beliefs and just plain good ol’ family pass downs. Without going into too much detail, everyone has their niches in life they can attribute to upbringing, some strong enough to turn into beliefs and ways of life. As a simple example, anyone who grew up in the60’s, 70’s and early 80’s, will realize that ADD(Attention Deficit Disorder) was normally treated with some arse whoopin’. Those of these generations and prior, truly believe (for the most part), that ADD was “created” for who knows what reason after we had our share of corrections….and what the kids today really need is not more medication, but a good correction! WE BELIEVE THAT!
Today’s generation….not so much, and they will carry their experience on with them……it’s just a different reality, and as long as we understand that it’s just different, we’ll all be ok…no judgment. So, going further with this example, this upbringing of getting spanked for some odd reason gives us this sense of toughness! “I took it as a kid, got my arse whooped many times, every day, and it was because I deserved it”, “my mom would beat me with a broom”, “my grandparents would slap me anytime I talked back”….anyway, you’ve said them all or heard them all…truth is, I don’t think it makes us tougher, or experts on discipline……if you analyze human evolution, you’ll notice that we as a race have consistently improved. We have improved in every aspect of our daily lives….we’ve become smarter, faster, stronger, better in general. So, if we have become all these positive things, why is it that we continue to look back at our upbringing and state with confidence: “Ah! Those were the days!” or “Kids now a days have it easy…..” or “My daddy use to….”. In reality, the upbringing in the 60s and 70s where improvements from growing up in the 30s and 40s and if we follow this logic, growing up in the 00s and 10s HAS to be an improvement! Which means that 60s, 70s and 80s upbringing was primitive as compared to today….no? No matter the decades you grew up in, it’s human nature to state that those were the best….it’s human nature! I grew up in the 70s and 80s and remember older people telling me how much I wasn’t getting beat, and that was right after fresh belt marks were branded on my legs to remind me of what I did wrong for 48 hours. I remember stories my parents told me about nuns making then kneel on corn seeds for 2 hours straight and that is after the yard sticks to the butt or to the hands!! I remember thinking as a kid, I wish I had a nun that would try to make me kneel on corn, or charge me with a huge ruler….I would show her, right? I heard stories of schools which wouldn’t even ask for permission to beat the kids…..and that would be two beatings because your parents would then beat you after the principle beat you…..and that was normal back then, as normal as getting suspended for making the two finger gun gesture in elementary school today! Whatever I scribble here really doesn’t matter because your upbringing is your upbringing…..we consider ourselves tough for getting beat on a routine basis, some more than others and we consider our grandparents even tougher because they were beat more than you and so on so forth……what does that make our future generations though?? Will they be weak adults because they weren’t beat as much?? Will they become less of adults because they weren’t mentally abused or yelled at less?? Again, if we follow the evolution, what really matters is that we are becoming smarter, faster, better stronger and advanced! There is no better or worse, there is only different! DIFFERENT! Now remember, I was only talking about one small speckle of an example…..now try applying the, it’s not better or worse, it’s only different aspect to every other example you can come up with……differences geographically, religiously, racially, etc etc….. We would most likely be in much less trouble on this place if we could just agree to disagree and accept the differences from your arguments with your parents and family to religious wars…..I know I know, the problem is them, they don’t get, right! I know!