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It is what it is...we are, after all, who we are and life just happens??!!

Updated on July 29, 2013

"It is what it is." life is about these moments..no control...control...no expectation......expectation...no warrant...warrant..."It is what it is" can be so many opportunities...or no opportunities at all...."It is what it is"....so let me stay stagnant in it..."It is what it is." so use it as my crutch. "It is what it is." so sit in its' glory. "It is what it is." so let it be. "It is what it is"...so we are who we are and we can choose to hide behind it or rise above it.

"It is what it is." A phrase I use almost daily, but not in the sense that others perceive it when it is said...this I have found out. "It is what it is...so why can't I change it and move on, relish in it then make it better or make it even better?" is my real thinking.

We all have our epitaphs that we go by, yet, I ask now, does anyone really know the meaning of yours. I had a conversation recently with a dear friend that I love about this saying. She reminded me that I say it all the time. In reminding me of the saying she also made me aware of her depiction of it. She also made me aware that her depiction was far from what I meant by it. "It is what it is." to me means that there are things in life that happen and they happen the way they happen. No change can come of it right then. It is and it does happens as it does, afterall. It is a fact. No change can come to that...it is my thinking and accepting the fact, and the FACT ONLY, that brings me further...that makes me realize there is really no changing what it is or its outcome at that MOMENT or those MOMENTS in time...so you box it as it has happened, put it aside in its place, but you still do not have to ACCEPT it as it has happened, you do not have to accept it within you or let it define you or make you think lower of life...youself. In the same respect, you do not let it make you think higher of your life or yourself than you should nor should it define you as better or defeat you if that is the case, but it should lead you to a higher life no matter what the case.

Simply said it is accepting it for what it is, embracing it for the moment ,good or bad, in order to truly feel it and then setting it to the side (my grandmother once said, about sadness...feel it...cry like you haven't....then let it go.....and move on....)...learning from your sadness....make time..find time...I can bring the same for glory...feel it...bask in the glory...then let it go...set it aside...and strive to be better with all your being.

Do not let it form who you are... be an active player in your life...own it...achieve it...strive for it...put yourself out there...participating in it is the key whether it be achievements or relationships....be there to participate and excel or fail at things you love to do...be there for your family no mater what the occasion or during no occasion at all...laugh...cry...embrace...go out of your way...show...in life..being actively involved in their triumph...having them actively involved in yours...being actively involved in their defeats...and having them actively involved in yours..learn from all of it...take a lesson...give a lesson...give a stance...take a stance...involve yourself...give opinions...accept opinions...making yourself better. and there begins learning from it, feeling it and truly letting it flower into the greatest moments. "It is what it is." We all have our weakest moments when we think only of ourselves, we all have our greatest moments when we balance between ourselves and others and they balance between us.

"It is what it is." and it is a learning experience. It can be your greatest failure or achievement and then whether you accept it or not it moves on and so must you move on...is that not true??!! Truthfully "It...truly... is what it is."

I have been born from a life that has had moments of greatness, moments of weakness, moments of weakness that created greatness...and moments of greatness that breeded weakness and moments of both that made me so much better.... through all of those times it has been truly wonderful for the most part. Some would say only because I make it that way. Life brought me strong Monarchs in the women that were close to me in my life and Patriarchs in the men that were close to me.... who cared and loved beyond thinking and taught all about strengths..and weaknesses ...and taught me that crying, although it makes you feel better in the moment..in reality...tears don't help...change does...and not to be overshadowed by my greatnes...I had only myself to defeat...challeng yourself...there will always be better.. brothers and sisters who do the same, nieces and nephews who add more, Aunts and Uncles and cousins...true friends that I call family..and the list goes on and on.....they remind me everyday that no matter what is going on "It is what it is." because we have made it a point to relish in every moment possible with, in, knowing.. each other good and bad. If "It is what it is." meant stagnancy..then self-thought, selfishness...no opinion...no constructive criticism...no guidance...no laughter...no selflessness...no unconditional love would be a part and then and only then would it be about nothing that I have behind "my meaning"...and life would have been a stagnant cycle.on and on.....all around and we would not have had any foundation to continue..learn...teach and grow to form beyond measure...a circle can be measured...anything outside it that continues is a continuous measure...unmeasurable over time.

A person's greatest achievement can be their greatest failure in the end because they relish in the glory so much that do not see that there is so much more to achieve...just as a person's greatest failure can be their greatest only because they too relish in it so long that they miss the opportunity to try again. ..."It is what it is." brings one beyond glory and failure.

One can always strive to make it better in any avenue of life. Embrace it for what it is and the people in ....share in accomplishments...share in failures...be there to witness both for yourself and others....have a well-meant opinion for yourself and others...move on...find within you the need to get better...help them to be better...never think you are the best..never let them think they are the best....never let up on challenging yourself..never let up on challenging them....find defeat...fight defeat...challenge in any circumstance or instance...."It is what it is.", but there's no telling of achievements and learning if you only remember remember...."It is what it is." but "It.." only gets better.

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