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It Should Be "Why Not?", Not "Why Should I?"

Updated on May 17, 2020
asujatha profile image

Sujatha is a freelance writer and she derives from her own experience as to how we can remove mental blockers to what we want to do.

The cushion called comfort

When we hit the 40+ years and in my case 44+ years, one realizes that perceptions of life's different facets are not only getting cocooned but also refuse to grow wings.

On one side are the memories of what we wanted to pursue during the dream filled, starry eyed age and on the other side are the interests or passions we developed over time. Where are we now? Sitting complacently in-between.

The aura of comfort has slowly dug its tentacles into us, creating a cushion to comfortably lean ourselves upon...

  • A cushion disguised as the excuse called ‘lack of time’.
  • A cushion fabricated from thoughts like 'Am too old for this'.
  • A cushion made of 'I have enough family priorities on my head '.
  • A cushion that brews excuses to tell others 'of course I understand. I too wanted to do all this and may be one I will'...a one day that never comes.
  • A cushion that says “my family is used to this routine”.
  • Finally a cushion which in our perception, has everything and anything sitting on it, preventing our growth, except ourselves.

And the icing on the cake is the fear factor that once this cushion is jerked away from us, we will fall, either in failure or embarrassment.

Comfort Cushions

Source

The Dawning

It would be very easy to say that these are just thoughts trapping you and all you need to do is shrug them off but easier said than done. The reality is that it could be mentally strenuous to pull these cushions off, as the situation you are in is real, the reason why these comfort layers were created in the first place are real and the meaning they hold for you is real.

So what do we do about this?

If we reflect for a moment, we would realize that life as it is today, has originated from a thought. Someone somewhere hit upon the thought to create something and here we are, surrounded by appliances and gadgets and facilities and what not, that were literally non-existent, some centuries back. This does not mean, we drop whatever we are doing now and start building contraptions, but it means that we learn from them, how thoughts germinated and were actually pursued.

Just let your thoughts flow towards exploring what sprouts joy within you. No harm done and nothing to lose, in just introspecting along those lines. Don’t allow your excuses and reasons, like age, social barriers, routines, image to be maintained etc. to clamp down your thought process.

Life and this planet are so vast and for sure, there will be something which you would like to get engrossed in.

WHY NOT ??

Breaking the walls we have built around us!

The next phase is where many of us would actually hold back and that is what I too initially did.

I savored the time I had, after I opted out of a flourishing career as a telecom architect, deciding to be a stay at home mom. The eagerness with which I wanted to pursue my interests was equally matched by the commitment, that I give my best to my kids.

Juggling time, emotions and passions, eventually took toll and though I was clear on where my interests lay, excuses loomed large. I love writing, crafting art and there was new software that I wanted to learn. I soon realized that excuses I was giving myself were only the symptoms and the root cause lay elsewhere.

I was clearly feeling apprehensive about removing some cushions of comfort.

I felt pressed that I will not be able to spend the time required for learning or training myself.

I was worried that even if all the facets that I was perturbed about fell into place, whether I would be able to actually move ahead in what I wanted to do.

Eureka moment.

Honestly I then had the ‘eureka moment’ or was it?

“Why not just go ahead and try it, one day at a time? What is there to lose? Let me not keep pondering as to why I should not attempt it but rather why not give a shot at it “ was what I told myself and that completely changed the perspective.

I actually started revolving myself around this thought and set routine changes to match the same. I made sure I spent some time, starting of what I wanted to do, even if it meant spending only half an hour on certain days. Let me assure you, once the ball starts rolling, we get the confidence. I now write, am half through in the software I wanted to learn and even came up a concrete idea of a new project with my friend.

Only when we pursue our passion seriously, the world takes us seriously which includes our family, friends, work place etc.

So it should be a simple ‘Why not give it a try?’ and not ‘Why should I try this?’

Pursing what motivates us, requires learning, time management and also facing the faltering steps along the road. Take it by the day and just keep trying.


The very first step and for me, all further steps , is to be 100% determined and resolute in what we want to do and let me tell you, the rest starts falling into place.


My dear reader, just go ahead and take your first step! Why not?

© 2020 Sujatha

Comments

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    • asujatha profile imageAUTHOR

      Sujatha 

      6 days ago from Noida

      Thank You so much for your kind words Prateek Ji :-)

      It inspires me to do much more!!

    • PrateekJain24 profile image

      Prateek Jain 

      6 days ago from Madhya Pradesh, India

      This is a really wonderful article Sujata mam.i must say you have done an in-depth research about the topic. Very well explained. I love the concept of the article. You have explained very difficult concept in an easy way. Thank you for sharing this valuable information with us. Keep writing and sharing your thoughts and experience.

    • asujatha profile imageAUTHOR

      Sujatha 

      10 days ago from Noida

      Thank you dear Anu

    • profile image

      Anu 

      10 days ago

      Very nicely written Suji

    • profile image

      Vinolia v 

      10 days ago

      Wow,Suji well done ! Inspiring and interesting.

    • profile image

      Praseetha 

      11 days ago

      very Good Sujatha. Insoiring words. very interesting to read and makes me feel it. Good my dear. keep on writing

    • profile image

      Geetha Rani Ezhil Kumar 

      11 days ago

      Very well expressed Suji ! A splash of cold water on the face to shrug off the procrastination!

    • asujatha profile imageAUTHOR

      Sujatha 

      12 days ago from Noida

      Thank you so much for your beautiful feedback. Really heartening for me !!

    • asujatha profile imageAUTHOR

      Sujatha 

      12 days ago from Noida

      So valid Rathu, some who don't get encouragement from outside, must have the courage to search within.

      Thank you dear !

    • Glenn Stok profile image

      Glenn Stok 

      12 days ago from Long Island, NY

      What a powerful statement! Well done Sujatha. It’s so true that everything we have, and everything we experience, comes from a thought. We have our world from other people’s thoughts, and we ‘make’ our world from our thoughts.

    • profile image

      Rathna 

      12 days ago

      Absolutely true Sujatha!! Some are fortunate to get support and encouragement from friends or family. But for others whose eyes are still closed, this is a great read. Well said!! I also observe that your writing style has immensely improved from a couple of years ago. Good work!! Continue to pen your thoughts !

    • asujatha profile imageAUTHOR

      Sujatha 

      12 days ago from Noida

      Thanks Ramesh !! I hope it helps many people

    • profile image

      Ramesh Madhavan 

      12 days ago

      An eye opener article for me who’s sailing on similar waves . and I like your writing style

    • asujatha profile imageAUTHOR

      Sujatha 

      12 days ago from Noida

      Thank you Anita !!.. When my words actually create change in the people, the effort is worth it.

    • profile image

      Anita Sampath 

      13 days ago

      Nicely written! I agree that one should give it a try....one never knows what is on the other end of that effort.

    • profile image

      Ratnesh 

      13 days ago

      Kudos Sujatha, Wonderful effort and excellent vision.

    • asujatha profile imageAUTHOR

      Sujatha 

      13 days ago from Noida

      Thank you !!

    • profile image

      Lavanya 

      13 days ago

      Thankyou for the inspiring article sujatha. I needed this as I too came out of my shell and started exploring the things that I love.

    • asujatha profile imageAUTHOR

      Sujatha 

      13 days ago from Noida

      Thank you :-) When my words actually reach people and make a difference in their lives is the moment when I know my written work has true value.

    • profile image

      Arthi 

      13 days ago

      Great Article Sujatha.. Exactly apt for 40+ women... As you mentioning coming out of mental cocoon is what the secret lies..

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