It's been awhile
Spring is near!
As I was watching the weather this morning, I saw we had -16 wind chills. I thought to myself is this weather ever going to take a turn for the better? The kids usually rush out the door in the morning to wait for the bus, but this morning they did so and ran back inside 30 seconds later. They both exclaimed "It's too cold out there, I'm not going back out there!" Well, needless to say they went back out a few minutes later as the bus pulled up. There is light at the end of the tunnel guys! 36 degrees tomorrow, and 55 by Wednesday. We're almost there, just a little further. I can almost smell the spring breeze blowing through the open windows. I might be jumping the gun a little, but it sure does make the winter blues halt for now thinking of the greatness to come. I personally enjoy going outside after the kids get on the bus, and enjoying a warm cup of coffee on the back patio. We have deer and foxes that make appearances out in the small woods located just off the back yard. I miss being able to comfortably sit out there and watch them. My poor snow covered lawn will soon be a sloppy mess, but then it will be fresh green grass. My garden will soon be expanded, and growing yummy vegetables. Before all of that I hope to see the Tulips and Iris' pop up seemingly out of nowhere. Ahhh, spring is so close I can smell it!
I know I haven't posted on here in awhile. I have been busy, stressed out, and depressed at times. I didn't want to let my emotions get the best of me and post something I would regret. I don't want to hurt the pending investigation against my ex-husband. When the case is resolved I will be sharing with everyone. For now I can say that last month, after my lawyer asked him if he would be willing to give up his rights to the children, and allow my husband to adopt the boys. It took him all of 5 minutes to speak with his lawyer, and agreed. Don't get me wrong, my husband, the boys, and I are all thrilled about this decision. What parent actually only needs 5 minutes to decide to give up rights to their children?! I know, personally I would fight tooth and nail for the boys. I would never roll over, and give up my rights. (Unless, you are a guilty party? Possibly?)
All of that being said, we have started the adoption process, and can't wait for the boys to have a father that would do anything for them. My husband has been in our lives for the past 3 years, and has done very well becoming an instant dad. Has has no biological children, but he is a natural. The boys get so excited when they know he will be coming home from work, and when he gets home, mom is set aside. I feel a little jealous, but I do enjoy watching them bond and interact with one another. They never had that before, my ex-husband would see them twice a year usually. Three times if they were lucky, and that's not enough for any child especially boys. In about 45-60 days, pending everything goes as planned, and the courts make the time for us, the boys will officially have a father that will never let them down or ignore them. I'm so ready for our happy ending, we all deserve it!
The search continues
My search continues, for a full time job that is. Right now I work as a substitute cook in the district where the boys attend. I love doing the job because I know I am helping to make an impact on the children's lives. Insuring the children get at least one healthy meal a day gives you a good feeling inside. There's one problem, only subbing means sometimes I work, and some times I don't. That is frustrating, and I can't figure out why it is so hard to get a job. I apply every week to several jobs, and I get nothing. I do understand I make it hard for myself because I am a little picky on the hours I can work, but there has to be something out there for me. I have a background in management, banking, and many years of customer service. I can kind of understand why I can't get a banking position, my credit isn't the best since my divorce. I wish I could at least be given a chance to prove myself. I can manage my money, and i can teach others how to do the same.
I have tried the work at home online job searches as well, but most seem like scams or jobs that require a degree. I am a hard working and fast learner. I never imagined this would be so hard for me. I have held jobs since I was 16, and never before had a problem getting a job. I have always worked my way up in the companies to a supervisor or manager of some sort. I just need to be given the right opportunity and a chance. Hopefully I will soon be telling everyone I have a wonderful job that fulfills my career needs.