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Discipline Kids According to Personality

Updated on March 4, 2011
Bringing baby home.
Bringing baby home. | Source

We are always excited when we are new parents and we bring baby home, but that is only the beginning. We show our love towards this new person in multiple ways. Yet we struggle with the one most effective way of loving our children and that is discipline.

When i talk about discipline, i am talking about a way that we show our child how much we love them and want the best for them, so that they live the best life possible within society. This is a vital part of bringing up baby!

Forms of discipline should start early! Children learn what is appropriate behavior as soon as they understand what is going on in their world. Scientists and behavioral professionals suggest this happens as soon as a child is born. But every parent has a better clue to their own child's cognitive awareness.

Discipline gives children a sense of security. It makes them productive citizens and helps them understand how to navigate within society's laws. Rules make the difference in how we all behave, without them the world of human beings would be a chaotic place. Rules like laws are necessary to give us guidelines that save and nurture a thriving social network.

As parents we are required to teach our children at all times. They have no clue on what is or how to behave and that is where parents come in. I am a firm believer that parents are too blame for a lot of what our kids do until they are of an age where they are responsible for themselves. That only happens when we teach! It also is our information that helps them when they have to pass their own tests come in everyday life.

And as parents we are the ones that should know our children, if we have been involved in their lives. We should also know from their personality what is required to train them. This happens through everyday interaction with them. Training is what discipline recommends as a necessary form to creating remarkable people.

Manners for instance is a dying art but when it is used people note the basic politeness and remark upon it, it makes a difference. "Yes sir, no sir. Yes ma'am, no ma'am. Thank you! Your welcome! Good morning, good afternoon, and good night! How do you do? How are you? I am sorry! Please forgive me! May i please! May i have... such and such? Is it alright if i... such and such? Hello, Mister.. Hello Miss.."

Manners make a difference in a person's character and their respect for others!

If you have to discipline your child depending on the rule they have broken and the age that they are at, sometimes asking them what they think would be a fair form of discipline. It can give them a better understanding of what they have done. But you must give them a choice between two punishments. This makes you reputable! A person whose word can be trusted!

Implementation of discipline is paramount. This causes a child to trust your word, to know that you feel that your rules are important and you live by what you say. If you say you will punish them  then you must carry out that discipline. This establishes trust! It also gives your child a way out of difficult situations. If they can blame their parents for having to say "no," to a friend or so called friend. I intentionally told my children that they could blame me when telling their friends they couldn't do something!

Allow your child to test the boundaries that you put in place! You don't want to break or kill their personality, that is too precious. But you do want to give them guidelines to live by that assists them in having good mental health and respect for laws outside your home. They need to know about fairness but they also need to understand that laws are necessary to govern any organization and society.

1. Methods of discipline vary from society to society.

  • Warn, warning your child before actually punishing them is an opportunity to train, teach and give them the freedom to change the behavior.
  • Spanking, not to be abusive. Do not use your hand if at all possible. Do this as soon as you can find a private place, you do not want to embarrass the child in front of people but you do want to make them aware that the behavior is unacceptable. Doing it later can cause confusion, but just remind the child of the infraction.

Depending on their age set limits on how many spanks / strokes used. 

  • Pinching, recommended for public discipline. If spanking can not be done this is an alternative. I learned this from an uncle who loved pinching, when you are in a public place like a restaurant or grocery store and your child ignores your warning, pinch them on the upper arm or thigh, through their clothing.
  • Time out, set limits depending on the age of the child. For instance five minutes to a child is a long time, I use to sit my son in a chair he could not get out of for five minutes, he had to watch a clock while he was in punishment. He hated it!
  • Take something away, this should be something the child loves, for example, toy, book, video game, TV, music, computer, trip whatever they hold of value.

2. Methods of discipline to use according to personality.

This is the most difficult assessment that you will have to do, when it comes to discipline and punishment. Because you have to learn the personality of your child, then make decisions about what type of person they are and what is important to them. Since most of us aren't one dimensional beings, it is vital that you have a good relationship with your kid!

There are lots of nuances to the human psyche, and when disciplining someone you never want to damage their uniques personality, you just want to guide it, so that they make the best decisions for themselves.

  It is always necessary to keep in mind that you have to aid your child through training and teaching, so they know that they are loved.

  • Shy - this is the individual that keeps to themselves, and watches things unfold.
  • Outgoing - this is the person who is the life of the party and loves to be on the go whenever it is possible.
  • Manipulative - this individual twists circumstances, rules and what you say to their advantage without caring how it affects another person.
  • Intellectual - this is the brainy individual or logical one, who will question your feelings and behavior, they always feel their is a less emotional way to handle a situation and are normally right.
  • Creative - this is a free spirit, but can be emotional, and moody so it can be difficult to be pinpointing what will work for them.

3. Methods of discipline by giving responsibilities = chores.

Chores are necessary. This gives children their first learning experiences and their first feeling of accomplishments as well as giving them ways to demonstrate responsibilities.

Children as early as one or when they start to walk can be given chores, for instance, picking up behind themselves. Replacing toys in their rightful place or toy box so that their play area looks clean. This helps with organizational or sorting skills as well. This can start as simply as you asking the child to hand you something.

  • Putting their clothes away, in a hamper, a drawer or to hang it up.
  • Picking up and putting their toys where they belong.
  • Making up the bed.
  • Where to keep their shoes.
  • Help set and clean up after meals.
  • Helping with trash and recycling.

At every age chores should be added and upgraded. This may have to change as they age but that is life. 

What form of discipline do you use and find effective?

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    • Celiegirl profile image

      Celiegirl 6 years ago

      Hey Jenna,

      That's good that you have your husband to rely on and that you balance the kids out with your laid back attitude but they need to know that you are just as tough when necessary without having to wait on dad to get home.

    • profile image

      Jenna 6 years ago

      My kids respond better to my husbands strict form of discipline. My husband requires the children to respond with yes sir, no sir, yes ma'am, and no ma'am. He spanks only when necessary, but the kids have learned to obey or they will suffer the consequences. Spankings are rare these days. My husband is in the military and I think this helps him have a better grip on disicpline than I have. The kids try to get away with more when their dad is not home. I am more laid back and more of a pushover.