Lament - Advice for my children

Is there no regret without prior desire that can only be described as a wish to have been someone else? To wonder why is to wonder about why you were born to begin with. The decisions you made were made with uninformed enthusiasm and without it you could not decide otherwise. Regret becomes a lament when the measured depth of the tears drown the honesty that has now become who you are. You have become cruel in your rejection of your past; you have rejected everyone you encountered; everyone you ever loved; everything you ever did. You were unable to see what you now know. You lie in your bed and cry because you can feel the moment. You see yourself making the same decision over and over again. It never changes. You wonder how could you have done that but what you cannot remember is how you felt then. You only know how you feel now. But what about now? Is today’s enthusiasm as misguided as yesterdays? Can you trust what it compels you to do? You made your mistakes. Is it time for another? How can you know? In what way can you be who you are not so that you do not act as you are? Your weakness is larger than your life. You can be someone else but only as long as you can hold your breath. Maybe what you want to be is not meant for you. Do you have a destiny that you must accept? Everyone suffers. You are not alone is this regard. There are very few people who can tell you what they are thinking; who can draw what they see; who can play what they hear. Regret is the child of fate. Your fate was determined by the power in your life. Your nature is powerful as is the nature of those you choose to believe. The nature you married to your own has a child: Lament…

I tell you this so that you know one day you will look back and wonder why you didn't do things differently. The key to finding your genius is to find the genius of enthusiasm. And once you do then you will become powerful in controlling your fate. Your fate is governed by your own nature to the extent that you can control events impacting your life. But until you find your gift for enthusiasm then you will be living a life that you will one day regret.