- Family and Parenting
A Mother On Being A First Time Grandma...
A Very Special Day for Nana... and Papa Too!
Behold Your Little Ones... Beholding "Their" Little Ones!
Nobody prepared me for the day that I would become a Nana. Yes, that is what I am called. I chose to go by 'Nana' because at the time of the birth of my first grandchild my youngest child was only 10-year-old. Something just didn't feel right to have people calling me 'grandma' when I was with my own son, who was still relatively young.
He was the baby of five, with a separation of almost seven years from his next sibling. Looking back now, I was concerned over silly things I suppose.
Like how would he feel when I was picking him up after school on a day I had my grandson with me (yes, 'it' is a boy) and he was calling me 'grandma' and my son calls me 'mom'.
I actually pictured this in the future... more than once. I would cruise on over to the high school in in my very hip car -- nothing old fashion about it whatsoever. Then I would slowly pull right up, tightly, alongside of the curb, where I usually picked him up everyday after school.
Here is where it goes all wrong. He would casually open the door, see a car-seat inside, hear his 'nephew' calling out "grandma, grandma" -- and it would be all over. I can see it now.
This vision was so clear in my mind, that I could even imagine the look on his 'face-of-the-future'. His cool friends, all the best looking guys and the best looking girls are all hanging around, waiting for their pick-up. Now picture this... and his mom is being called 'grandma'! And then, everyone starts to look at him and they laugh, and laugh, and laugh... that is when I WAKE-UP!
I suddenly realized that by a simple name tweak things will be just fine. Done. I am calm once again. I really like the name 'Nana'.
Where Our Treasures Are, There Will Our Hearts Be
Admission - Acceptance - Confession... Whatever!
Alright, I will admit it... it felt strange and sounded even more foreign to be considered a 'grandma' and a mom, at the same time in my life. You know what I mean. My brain would simply not compute this. I am aware that many women find themselves in the same situation. I am not special. I know this. My mother had all three of her children when she was young. By the time I was having my first baby there were only two of my siblings at home and going to high school. So, she was ready for grandchildren. Although, as I recall, I think even she was a bit apprehensive about being called 'grandma'. It's not like I was having a mid-life crisis or anything.
It's really not an age thing. It is the stereotype that I think bothered me. I had only known grandmothers, at that time who were much older than I was. Or at least I thought they were. LOL I guess, I just was not quite ready to enter that stage of my life, in that way. Don't misunderstand, I can't even begin to tell you just how excited I was for my daughter to have a baby! This became the thrill of my life. This was to be a grand hallmark in my life as a Mormon woman. We 'are' all about family you know. Although I stopped at five children. My mother-in-law had nine. Uh huh... you heard that right. Her children, who are all now grown consider her a saint. Not one of them turned out to be criminal in any way. (smile) I have always felt that it was because of the way in which she raised them.
Motherhood And Mormonism... Tradition?
I am Mormon. But I did not start attending church regularly until after I graduated from high school. My family, growing up, were not active in going to church. Therefore, I as a child growing up I had little exposure to the Church. And yet, because of my own grandmother and other extended family apparently I did have enough exposure to the teachings of Mormonism to influence my life in that direction. I have often thought it strange that at 17 years of age I would decide to turn from the world and become active in a church that I only had minimal knowledge about. I still, even now, feel that I made the best decision in my life when I made the decision to be an active member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
I love the Mormon people. I love the doctrine. And I love how it has enabled me to understand my life both the positive, and what appears to be the negative. I have now been attending church, faithfully, for over 36 years. Everything good about me, I attribute to my relationship with Jesus Christ and my understanding of Him and His teachings, which have come through my Mormon faith.
As a mother myself, I want my own children to know who Jesus Christ is. I want them to have a relationship with Him, that would strengthen their lives. Just because we teach our children what we believe, does not mean that they will embrace it as we have. Our children must experience life in their own very personal way. I was a rebellious teenager -- not horrible, but I was determined to do things my way.
Trust, That They Will Learn How to Choose Well
Motherhood And Letting Go...
When my own children began to display symptoms of these same tendencies, (drat!) I learned the lesson of agency. Not my own, but theirs. This is a tough one for us parents to grasp. Because they, like we as teenagers once were, are determined to figure it out by themselves. But 'us' not realizing that what they choose has nothing to do with us as parents feel horrible during these times. Oh, I am so glad to be past this stage of life. And at the same time I enjoyed so much going through this process of growing up with my children. I was much less stressed about my younger sons choices than I was with his older siblings. I have learned to trust in God, knowing that the exercising of our agency is how progress and growth take place...
I was so proud to be having my first grand-baby. I felt... official. Like, a real mother. (laugh) Please... actually it is something that makes a mother a bit nervous. What will I say to my daughters, when they have questions about being a mother? Will I know what the right thing to say is? Do they know enough to be good mothers? I had to stop that. I had to trust that I had taught them everything that I knew. If it wasn't enough, then we would learn together. I love hanging around with my three daughters. Being with them, is somewhat cathartic. They are each such beautiful women on the outside, and so wise from within. I am so blessed.
Getting ready for this first grandchild was such a delight. I would often tease, that I was having so much fun shopping for this little newcomer, that we would most likely need to file bankruptcy. And I though it would be worth it. I was having a blast!
Mothers And Family...
- A Mother Heart - By Julie Beck
Women and Motherhood, are Sacred
- Families Revolve Around Mothers
How do Lds families stay close?
- Women Are A Gift To Each Other
What was, this unexpected present?
- Family... A Love Story!
- Seven Points About The Church Of Jesus Christ Of Latter-Day-Saints... For You To Consider?
- Healthy Families... What Is Your Family Temperature? Have You Had A Check-Up Lately?
- The Bible And Teaching Your Children About God...
- Parenting Teens Today And Being Responsible About It!
So, You Want to Know About The Secret Too?
I was completely engaged with this entire idea... except, for that 'word'.
After all, I still had my own 'baby', so to speak. Oh, he would just love it, to know I considered him a baby at 10-years-old. But, if the truth be known now at 22 he is still my baby and always will be.
I know what you are probably thinking right now... you are thinking that I didn't understand. I mean, you who are grandparents. You, who would never change places with anyone in the world right now. Therein lies the problem. I want you all to know that I have figured out the secret.
I have decided to divulge this secret to others so that they will need not go through all the silly and unnecessary stages I was made to pass through in preparation for the 'blessed' event to arrive. I am thinking perhaps there are possibly two reasons for this secret that has been kept for... forever. Because I had never had one grandmother speak not even a word to me the entire time my daughter was expecting. Frankly, even now that I am a grandmother, they don't. And my seventh grandchild is due in the spring. Nope, these ladies have got those lips sealed. They probably used a glue-gun! Oops! Now you know I am not a crafty person. LOL I am of the 'younger' grandmother generation. I have determined to do it differently.
Do they think they are protecting us? Do they feel we couldn't continue our current state if we knew their secret? The secret. What is it, you are wondering? Do they think we could not handle it? Would we consider it 'unfair'?
If you are reading this and you are not a grandparent, yet -- can you think of what would be so important and secret worthy about being a grandmother that it would be kept so tightly held? It is something to contemplate you know?
Behold, Your Little Ones
Mommy Is Life! Motherhood Is Life... LIfe Is Loving Every Moment Of Being A Mom!
Gee, I am starting to feel a little guilty as I am writing this. What if some mommies simply go over the edge after hearing what I have to tell them? Do you suppose that could happen? I have always been told, what you don't know can't harm you? Do you believe that? No way, I never fell for that line either. For me, things would have been so much less stressful preparing to be a grandmother IF I had only known the truth!
I love being a Nana. As I think back on when my children were all young it was a lot of work... I think. I mean, the first four of my little ones are very close together in age. When my oldest was 5, I had my fourth child. I had my hands full. But I remember just being happy. It seemed so simple then. It's all beginning to be so fuzzy, those years.
Now, I watch my three daughters and all of them are mothers. I watch them with their little ones. They are, each one of them, in love with those little people. Their hearts are bound to them in a love that only a mother can know. She is the one that is concerned that they take every breath that is required for life. A mother watches her children breathe, literally. They do this while they are sleeping. And sometimes, it is during the middle of the night. To serve another, so acutely, is to love them desperately. Mothers would give their lives for their children. Mothers do -- come near unto death as they give birth to their little ones. And, they know it. Mothers are the bravest people I know. It is a fine line. The veil is thin when life is passing through it.
Heavenly Father Has A Plan For Our Family.
And His Love for All Little Children...
Beholding Your Little Ones - What This Means To A Mother...
It is a joy to behold your little ones as they be-hold their little ones. A grandmother's heart is the fullest known. She knows. These little ones must progress. They must exercise their agency. It will be oppositional to their parents. These precious little ones. Mothers in love don't see this coming. So, don't even try to tell them. Their little ones are different. 'They' are different. Their love is enough. They have plans. They know how to do it better. Every generation better and theirs, in 'theirs' will better -- be enough. It has to be. It will.
You know, on second thought, perhaps I will keep my little secret from my daughters. What they don't know will not hurt them. It will not help them right now anyway. I think I will wait. I will wait and tell them right before they become grandmothers themselves.
I understand now. For every experience in this life there is a season. And each season prepares us for the fullness of joy that is to come...
Life is eternal. Now is the season to find the joy in the very moment that God has given to each one of us -- on this Day.
Tomorrow will come, in time... His time.
I hope you are not disappointed in me -- for not telling, for I have decided to hold this little secret for just a little... bit... longer...
Daugther - Mother - Child - Grand-daughter... Number Seven is HERE!
Lilly Elizabeth Ann - born April 23rd on a beautiful Spring Day!
Well, she is here! Lilly Elizabeth Ann is finally here. Like her big sister, she too was breech and therefore delivered by ceserean section. They decided to deliver her a bit earlier than her scheduled due date. I ended up being away on a Caribbean Cruise while she was born. But, within two days of her homecoming - I was able to hold her in my hot little hands! LOL
She is as beautiful as both her mother and her big sister. A house full of girls. My girls and I, just do girls really well I guess:-) We are so thrilled she is here and more than grateful that she is so healthy. Everything went fine with her delivery and mother too, is doing well.
I have been going back and forth between our houses, which are about an hour apart - so I can help with the girls and let mama get some needed sleep. These are the choicest days of a mother's life. As a Nana, it is such a privilege to be the in the homes of my daughters on these special ocassions. I revel in this... really!