- Family and Parenting
Leaving your family for work.
Having started my career in the mid ninties in the construction industry in ireland, finances were never really a problem and work was always there without even looking. I was always luck enough to be too busy and even ran my own business for a number of years. This all changes heading into 2009 when the Irish Recession became a real problem for a lot of people, including me. From being in steady employment all my life i went to being reliant on the government to give me a weeks wages! Now the irish dole system is particularly good, however, with 4 young children you do need a substantial amount of money every week. Being unemployed, in turn causes other underlying problems in any household. I spent most of my time either on the computer looking for work or just being depressed that i didn't have work. I regret that now because it only caused fights and i should have been spending my time with my children. Now i am away from them and i don't have that privelge. So my advice to any father who is currently unemployed, don't waste it, watch your children grow, listen to them and love them, because you will regret it when you do get work again.
Eventually after 8 months of unemployment something came up for me, one problem, its 8000km from my home, how can i commute!! Like thousands of other men and women i reluctantly got on a plane in dublin airport for, what i suppose, was a fresh start and a new adventure. At least i looked at it that way so as to take away from the fact i would be doing it without my right arm, my wife. I will never forget the morning i left, well it was 4 o clock so, middle of the night really. I was just glad to be going back to work and i had a friend who i was going to which helped no end. How do you do it? How do you spend months away from home? Im here 9 months now and i still don't know. I tend to just work, work, work and keep my mind off home. If anyone has any better ideas please let me know.
How do i conclude? From my experience it is difficulf being away from your family but with a strong will and some good mates it is very possible. You have to keep your head on the end goal, which for me is making a more comfortable life for my children. I have personally set myself a two year limit here but i know already i will have to extend that to 3. Plan and manage your time well, use skype to keep in touch and try to have contact with home at least every second day and life will be a lot easier.
The Follow Up
I spent two years away and that was that, I couldn't take it anymore. I moved back to my home, my wife and my family. My thoughts were that something would come up, a Job of some description. After a year a Job did come up but again its away from home. So here I am, round 2, different country this time but same routine. Even after doing this before it doesn't get any easier, in fact, its probably harder this time because my children are older. I don't know how people do this on a long term basis I know now that I just couldn't manage it at all.