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Letting your child develop in their own way

Updated on February 14, 2012

At times I’m not a fan of the schooling system. Sometimes it becomes a place that smothers talent and the gifts children are born with. It is good to get an education but it shouldn’t be the only thing a child is. Children are born with so many gifts and talents, but sometimes I feel as though they are suppressed by the school system. I’ve had a few run ins with teachers over the years. When my daughter first started school she hadn’t mastered her reading properly. I remember one evening sitting down with her to read. She read the book well but when I randomly pointed out words she didn’t recognise them. This is when I learnt that she couldn’t read and was memorising the book. All along the teacher had been giving her books and commenting that she is doing well. I took her back to the basics and to the beginning. This delayed her reading and I took her out of that school and put her in different school. Over the years teachers had been saying that she was behind and that she needed extra help to be able to pass her SATS, which she does this year.

There is one thing I know and that is my daughter has been showing progress each and every time and she has got better and better. To compare a child to another isn’t the right way to measure development. I realised that my child was in a split class. Because she was born in April she was in a class with children that were born in October the year before. That means that they are a good six months developed than she is. Children learn differently and they develop differently. I was exactly like her at school; it was only later in high school that I began to catch up. So allowing your child to develop in their own way and time helps them reach their full potential.

Develop other parts of their lives

Maths, English and science are great but there are other parts of the human mind that can be developed and stimulated. My daughter does dance and gymnastics. She is also a great athlete which is also something she can develop if she wants to. Children have many skills, follow their lead, be in tune to what they enjoy and are good at and help develop that. My daughter is also into fashion design, she actually wants to be a fashion designer. I will continue to support and encourage that dream, if this is what she wants. Always encourage their other skills as well as the academic skills. They are more than Maths, English and science.

Don’t box them up

Our children are unique and should never be carbon copies of anyone else. Perhaps a child you know got straight A’s. That’s great and it’s great if your child does too but always let your child develop into their own person. I’ve always praised my daughter for doing her best. She is never compared to anyone else and I’ve always encouraged her and this in turn has made her confident to perform better. If a child is compared to someone else and they can’t reach that standard, you will make them feel inadequate. A teacher once said that she was a year behind the other children. That may have been the fact and I paid to for her to get extra lessons on a Saturday, but I didn’t make it a big deal. i.e. I didn’t tell her other children were doing better than she was. What would be the point of doing that?

Give positive affirmations

Always be positive with their school work. Show that you are interested in their work. At one point my daughter was struggling with some of her maths until her teacher taught her another way to do it. It was amazing how she grasped it after that. Each child’s brain is wired differently and they don’t always understand. Children misbehave not because they are bad, but because there is no positive attention shown towards them. Showing my daughter support I’ve really seen her grow in her school work. She isn’t measured against anyone’s standards except her own.

A child who is supported through out their school life will become everything they need to be. Whatever that is, you can help them get to that place. Step back and let them shine and become the beautiful butterfly they were meant to be and not into what we or society wants them to be.


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    • lin8t profile image

      lin8t 6 years ago from United Kingdom

      Thanks for commenting Enlydia, doing this for your child is the best thing you can do for them.

    • Enlydia Listener profile image

      Enlydia Listener 6 years ago from trailer in the country

      Great hub...I agree that each child learns differently...and if you can tap into that special spot where they learn, you have it made.

    • lin8t profile image

      lin8t 6 years ago from United Kingdom

      Hi dragnhaze, thank you for your comment. I agree nurturing your child is key to raising a well developed child. Getting it righ from the begining will set the foundation for the future.

    • dragnhaze profile image

      dragnhaze 6 years ago

      Great article, I highly believe that nurturing your child's individual development is a key to raising a healthy well developed child on up til they become an adult in which they then are not only healthy, and well developed, but also more prosperous in their ventures as an adult.