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Life served with a side of crap. Episode 5 Part 2.

Updated on February 11, 2013
Noah, shortly after being born.
Noah, shortly after being born.
Myself and Noah.
Myself and Noah.

Childbirth. Part 2.

Friday is finally upon us.... BABY DAY!!! Now I don't remember the exact times that all this stuff took place, so bear with me. I want to say this all started Friday afternoon. They had just put me on pitocin and man was I feeling anxious but one thing I wasn't feeling was labor. I was at 2 cm dilated and that is where I was staying. My doctor, bless her heart but I did want to kick her in the face, decided to try inserting this foley bulb. (sp ?) Lets take a moment to discuss this contraption. Imagine this long metal stick, almost like a wire hanger, with a turkey baster bulb on the end. The end with the bulb gets inserted into your cervix and the metal part that is now hanging out of you gets taped to the inside of your thigh to create tension. This, in theory, will help you dilate.

The pain was almost instantaneous. It was like period cramps on steroids. The pain wasn't in waves like contractions it was constant. Laying down was not an option. Neither was standing for that matter but it felt a tiny bit better when I did. At this point I would have given a vital organ to have this baby cut out of me immediately. I must of yelled that out a million times. Until the urge to poop came. Then that became my line of choice. I needed to go. My mom, bless her heart, associates the urge to poop with the baby coming down the birth canal. There was no way in hell she was going to let me go into a bathroom and take care of business. She said, and I quote, "I will not have any of my grandchildren born in a toilet". She then proceeded to tell me that if I had to go to go on the floor. I guess with all this carrying on a nurse finally came in to see what was going on. Long story short, I was able to poop on the toilet.

After the pooping episode, the pain was still constant and getting worse. I finally heard the magical word. Epidural... Why not breeze through the rest? I could have made love to the anesthesiologist. He was my hero! I now felt nothing. Ahhhhh! Feeling numb never felt so good. My epidural came with this magical little button for breakthrough pain. Every 30 minutes I can hit this button and renumb myself. Life is good again.

I was still at 2 cm dilated and the pitocin was not working. The baby's heart rate is all over the place so they take me off the pitocin. An hour later, I am at 5 cm. Couple of hours after that, 8 cm. Noah's heart rate is still dropping and jumping. Now I am scared. Not scared of the pain, but scared for Noah. Twice already they have rushed into the room, thrown an oxygen mask on me, and stare at the monitor. I feel my eyes fill up with water. I want to cry. I don't know what's happening. The doctor examines me and I am at 9 1/2 cm dilated. It is officially baby time. Foley bulb fell out and we are good to go.

I now have to push through my contractions. No big deal right? Well it would probably help if I knew when I was having one since I feel nothing. The nurse laughed and told me when to push. So pushed I did. They are rules with that too. Chin to your chest and push like you are pooping. Not so easy since I usually don't poop with my chin pushed against my chest. My mom has one leg, Jenice has the other and Abdul was holding my hand. Three pushes later and a gush of water, Noah was out!

My 3 lb 15 oz, 17.5" long bundle of love. I got to see him a few minutes after he was born. I only got to see him for what felt like 30 seconds.

He had to be taken next door to All Children's NICU since he was premature. For those of you interested in ready about what it is like to have a premature baby here is a good link:

Now I am ready to get out of this bed. I tell the doctor I want to walk and she proceeds to tell me how we aren't done yet. What do you mean we aren't done yet? Don't even tell me there is another baby in there. Panic took over. Well I am dumb. I forgot about all the yucky stuff that has to come out after the baby. Duh.

I do want to thank Baby Daddy, my Mom, and bestie Jenice, for being there through this miracle. (And for dealing with my mouth). I don't think I could have done it without them. Love you guys :)


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    • daniella124 profile image

      daniella124 4 years ago

      Thank you so much! Your comments are appreciated!

    • wildove5 profile image

      wildove5 4 years ago from Cumberland, R.I.

      Well congrats on the birth, great hub!. I like the arguing with your mom about birthing on the toilet, very humorous!