Lifestyles of the Poor and White Trash
The First Christmas, exchanging the kids.
This has been one heck of a Christmas.
Chaos, is always a factor in raising a family. This Christmas, although not the first of many roads we have traveled down, but by far one of the hardest for me, and others as well.
Recently I have remarried, as well as my first ex-husband, Jesse. We have been divorced for 11 years however, have somehow remained close. We felt it was best for the children this way. Jesse and I have 2 children together. Chloe age 17 and Damon age 13. Jesse and I divorced for several reasons. The first, he was child and was never going to grow up. He never put me and the kids first, it was always about him and his desire to "have it all" right now, regardless of the consequences. After years of being ignored, and isolated to only "his family" I became lonely and my attention was elsewhere. I had an affair and fell in love with another man. Since the divorce we have always shared Holidays and Special Events together. Together I mean, I paid for it, he showed up. That got old real fast.
My second ex-husband, I know what your thinking, wow!! Anyway his name is Cole. We have one child, stephan. He and I try to get along although he makes it very difficult. He is an alcoholic and a verbally abusive, depressive, socially anxious, addictive personality, control freak. Our relationship was doomed from the start. I tried so hard to make it work. But it came a point where the kids were seeing it and experiencing problems of their own because of it. He was always good to the kids, it was me he hated. I think he liked the ideal of having a family, but never really wanted to be a part of one. He at one point was the only "father" the kids had.
I felt you would need a little background before we get to the real subject.
So, Christmas was a whirlwind. I have traditions and schedules of things we do and have done most of my children's lives. None of those were followed through with this year. As, not one but both of my ex-husbands decided that they wanted to be daddy's this year. Jesse decided about 2 months prior that he wanted to start enforcing his custody arrangements for the first time in 10 years. He has been getting Chloe and trying to get Damon on Tuesday/Thursdays and every other weekend, as instructed in the custody papers. Chloe and I have been fighting for about 3 months due to her "sudden" decision that she has never had a relationship with her dad because I have deceived her into hating him, and "never" told her about my part in our divorce. This is a lie and a plot to get her way. She doesn't like the rules so, lets try daddy. Damon, doesn't feel the same and has stood beside me in all of this.
Anyway Jesse, and his wife Callie decide they have traditions that need to be upheld. So, starts the negotiations. Although, no negotiations were set up. It was, their family, their traditions and to hell with mine. Out of the whole holiday I had the kids twice. Going to my dads was a fight to the finish. They decided, they had an "all the sudden" Christmas with her family and going to my dads, like every year just wasn't important. So Chloe comes back early to be with them and Damon is receiving guilty text messages the entire time we are at my dads, about how he's hurting them by not being there.
On the other side of the coin. Cole has finally got his act together and quit bouncing from roommate to room mate and rented an apartment of his own. He decided at 8:30 pm Christmas Eve its his turn to have Stephan for Christmas morning. I knew in my gut this was going to be bad. So, 12:30 am Christmas morning my husband, Cayd receives a phone call from Stephan crying. He had seen his daddy's "flavor of the week" putting presents under the tree for her kids. And there was no extra gift for him under there from Santa. Stephan is 8 years old and still believes. We assure him that Santa probably had gotten confused since it was last minute going to his dads and assured him, Santa would find him. At this point it was a rush to get up and write him a letter from Santa and wrap an extra present from Santa apologizing for missing him at his dads so he left his present here.
That morning when Stephan returned home he was very upset. He stood at the bottom of the stairs and says, "well, merry Christmas to me". We asked him what was the matter. he began to explain that he had gotten up this morning, Christmas morning, to wake his father so they could open presents, as they do at my home every year. And he walked in on his daddy having sexual relations with this woman. You would think we would be shocked but, this is the second time this has happened to Stephan, with his father. I mean do people not know what a lock is!! I was so angry. At this point all I could thinks was, My Christmas is ruined, his Christmas is ruined. My daughter could care less that I am miserable and my middle son is so upset that his mother is hurting, now hes mad. I am sure my new husband is thinking at this point, Lord what have a gotten myself into.
On top of all of this my daughter and I are barely speaking. She has turned into a totally different person. I thought that was supposed to happen earlier in life. So, The ladies banquet at church this year, the one we always attend together consisted of her and the new step mom sitting together and whispering back and forth, laughing. Now do I think they were talking about me, no. But, with my relationship sinking with her. It felt as if she were feeding off the attention. I felt replaced, that all I had done for her, her whole life didn't matter. That I was truly like my mother said to me when I was 13. I was nothing but an old pair of shoes to be tossed out
Needless to say I spent the entire holiday crying and depressed. I am truly at a loss on how to handle all of this, I have always had to do it, keep everything together for my children, this year. Total chaos.
Since Christmas, all heck has broken loose. I had my checking account hacked, my wireless hacked, a severe water leak, $400.00 water bill, my husband receive d a speeding ticket, and my 8 year old opened his Facebook, to sync his clash of clans to his new phone, and BOOM!!!! Half naked pics of his father drunk, dressed in a sleazy g-string teddy. Holding his privates and posing for the woman taking the photos.
Lord please help me, I feel like an episode of springer.