- Family and Parenting
"Lost in The Family Woodpile" © Rolly A. Chabot
Spring has arrived, or at least it is what we would like to think. Today is bright, warm and clear and the sun is melting the road surfaces, and that is a blessing. I will be on the road tomorrow to the beautiful State of Montana for a day or so, and the road conditions are a welcome sight in comparison to what we have seen recently.
Take up a place somewhere in the gathering and make your self at home, coffee, tea, hot chocolate and some goodies. I ask you to take a blessing with you and if you like leave one behind. Above all know that you are dearly loved and treasured here at the Fireside.
Joyful or Sorrowful
Today I would like to share a few thoughts about the gathering of families over the Christmas season. I follow many blogs, posts and status updates on Facebook and here on Hub Pages on the subject of gathering with friends and family. It is of course a pleasure to gather and share the old stories, tales of escapades and ventures into the past of what used to be growing up. Laughter sounding itself throughout the room with such memories, as they are brought back. It is a time of love, hopefully a time of forgiveness, a time to renew the love, and especially family unity.
There is also the other side of the story of the past hurts, the pain of words spoken, and attempts to reconcile differences. Far to often they are not to happen, that is so sad as it is meant to be a celebration. The celebration can mean many things to each of us. For me of course, it is the time of year where I reflect on the birth of Jesus. Sadly the commercialization of what it seems to have become is an entirely different topic.
What I would like to share today is the fact, this can be a very difficult time for many of us. We all have our own reason. Some reasons we understand and others we do not. For me, it is a reflection of a few words I spoke in 2006 to a family member. Those few words changed the dynamics of what was once a wonderful time to gather.
Try and try as you may
Those few words spoken in defence of my self and others have come at a great cost. Oh how I regret speaking them as they have cost me dearly and divided our family. Even though I have made several attempts to seek forgiveness, the response has been the same for as many years. "What ever," is what I have heard. And "That is in the past." Yet I question if it really is because of the distance which remains even though the door has been left open.
Sadly I think it is where many of us find ourselves, and it does hurt and it leaves us with the feelings of being detached from all family functions. Milestones in the lives of those we love and care for, birthdays, retirements, Christmas and the many other events which are important.
One might say I have to come to the place of accepting where I find myself. Can I forgive, certainly and I certainly have. The pain though remains, I made a conscious choice a few years back to only step aside and allow time to heal the wounds. Hopefully the forgiveness take place before we as a family has to gather again for another family emergency or a funeral.
What a waste of our limited time here on earth to think we have some unfinished business which requires our immediate attention or the attention of another whom we love. It would be so special to be able to download all the past into this USB device and simply erase it from memory. I yearn for that to be so true.... But
If you have something which needs to be spoken, I highly encourage you to do so. Speak genuine forgiveness from the heart. The way it is received is left to those intended. If it is not received then we need to move on rather than be held captive in the grasp of another's issues. You have done your best, and it is all you can do. To receive the forgiveness of another it needs to be genuine and not simply brushed off with a pat answer. It needs to come from the heart.
To be held captive by another is a terrible place to live, withholding love is not the answer. About all, it will come from it is you will be caught up in a world of anger and frustration. It is not the way we are called to live. There are many in the world today who cry out for love.
I close with a blessing of love to each and everyone of you, may you find peace in your heart this coming season. Know that you are dearly loved here in this place, we gather called the Fireside.