My Grandchilden Light up My Life (and of Course, so Does My Daughter)

On a very warm, Georgia evening, while walking in the parking lot of the Naval Hospital in Albany, a bushy-tailed, auburn-haired fox swished past. She was on a mission. Like me she was rushing to a most urgent appointment with destiny.

In seventeen hours, the most wondrous creature to ever enter my life would make her appearance on the planet and my life would be forever changed. Twenty three years later, the miraculous event of birth would be repeated only this time it was my daughter giving birth to my first grandson. This event once again would add a whole new dimension to my life and hers in ways we never knew were possible.

When I thought that there could not possibly have been anything that would bring me as much elation as those two births did, fifteen years later, a child who doctors who predicted would not be born, joined our family, adding an unbelievable new layer of joy and contentment to my life.

Often I tell my daughter that the grandboys are the gift that keeps on giving.

My Momma was always saying little words of encouragement and love to my sisters and me.

She knew we were tiny vessels that were to be filled with all of the goodness and wisdom she could pass along.

She often said the following saying to us and then as grandchildren arrived I heard her say it to them. Now, as you can well imagine, I said it to my daughter (still do sometimes) and say it to my grandchildren too.

When I was a young girl, summer was always an exciting time. One of the highlights of my summer would be when my nieces and nephews, all seven of them, would come to visit at our home in Deltaville, Virgina.

It was a wondrous time of play and fun and learning about who these members of my family were. Most of what I learned was unspoken. The patient way my Momma and Daddy had with their grandchildren was a model from which I learned.

The kind and gentle words that they used when they spoke to these special children was the beginning of lifelong bonds to them. Even when my Momma and Daddy had to fuss at them, it was done in a calm, nonthreatening way.

Years later, after my Momma and Daddy both were Angels watching over all of us, these same grandchildren will recall the summers with their grandparents. Learning how to make sinkers, catch a crab, bait a hook, shuck corn, pick strawberries and blackberries were some of the things that have left lasting memories. And now most of these grandchildren are now grandparents and are passing along the same gentle, caring manner of their grandparents.

My Momma had said to me many times that when I had my own child, I would understand how much she loved me. She showed me how that same truth with her grandchildren. I do understand...I do get it.

An expression that I say probably too often to suit some of my friends.. Grandbabies make very day brand new says it all.

On a crisp morning in February of 1995, the world stood still to herald the entrance of my first grandson into our lives.

From that day forth, a deeper understanding of love filled my soul.

This most amazing new life was now on the planet and I was his grandma. I rolled the word "grandmother" over and over in my mind and was not quite certain what it meant. Oh, I knew the literal meaning but I had no idea that from that time on, my heart did not really belong to me.

It had been quite literally stolen from my chest. No that is not it. It had been eagerly surrendered.

Before words were ever spoken to me by this precious child, a lullaby filled my life and washed over every fiber of my being, changing me into someone I did not quite recognize. I was this totally enchanted grandma. And how I loved it. Loved it then. Love it now.

Simple things to do with and for the lights of our lives...

• Take them to lunch if they live nearby.
• Skype them, email, text, and call them if they are not nearby.
• Send a small care package once in a while to those that are in another state.
• Invite them over for lunch at your house (if you live nearby)..
• Encourage and praise sincerely.
• Bake cookies and cakes together.
• Talk with them and listen to them.
• Begin a savings account for them.
• Give savings bonds as gifts.
• Read books to them.
• Listen to them read.
• Give books as gifts.
• Go for walks together.
• Sing with them (they are very forgiving).
• Plant seeds and cuttings together.
• Teach them to love the planet: recycling is a great start.
• Give them time to discover and explore.

"It is not possible to love this much," I thought. I love my daughter so much as I was only able to have one child.

Having her in my life is one of the blessings I was given. I watched her grow and change and become a young woman. I watched her discover, explore, question, have adventures, and evolve. Each day with her is still brand new.

As is the way of our lives, she grew and became a woman and gave birth to that precious boy to whom I willingly surrendered my heart. It was difficult for her to give birth. I almost lost her and the baby boy had to spend time in NICU (Neonatal Intensive care unit). He was ill and has remained so but that has not diminished who he has become. If anything I probably love him more than I might have if that is possible. He shows amazing courage and strength each day as he gets up and faces the illness that is part of his life but that does not define him.

How can I love this much?

It happened again. For a third time in my lifetime, the world suddenly stood still for a moment in time in May of 2010 when my second grandson came onto the planet.

Once again it was difficult and scary for my daughter but they both are supposed to be on this earth so both of them made it through the delivery.

Filled with awe and wonder as he came into our lives, I was overflowing with love for this new member of our family that I began to love as he was becoming a lovely person inside of his mommy, my daughter.

Two times I was blessed with little guys that take my breath away each time I am in their presence.

I cannot imagine what it must feel like for those who have a whole gaggle of grandchildren.

Heston is named after Charlton Heston and John Wayne for those who are always curious about the origin of birth names.

When Jay came into my life, he gave me a whole new reason to love. I could love him as an extension of his Momma and as the new person he himself was. How awesome that is.

I DO recognize (albeit reluctantly) that he has grown and is by no means a baby now. Often when I text him, I say "How is my grand babyboyman, today." And, he will text back, "I am fine, Padi."

Sometimes he says, "I'm good, Padi." He calls me Padi often which I love. He is such a young man. He rides along with me to town usually once a week if not more often than that. And, along the way we chat about whatever...politics, gaming--he is a huge gamer and is quite good but modestly denies how good he is, and his dreams for the future. That is part of how he makes every day brand new for me.

There are so many other ways. Some days it is the mere presence of him that makes my heart sing. He always tells me if I need help with a chore he will be over I just need to call. He pulls weeds with me, clips my plants that need cutting back, hauls the debris away. He is also my videographer extraordinaire when I make a video for HubPages. And so much more.

it has been somewhat awe-inspiring to see him evolve from the tiny baby who struggled to stay on this planet to the insightful, wise-beyond-his-years adult he has become. He has lived a difficult life in many ways. A life that many would shudder if they thought it would be the life they had to live.

He has however been loved every step of the way since his birth. When he became chronically ill, his Momma made it her mission to find out answers to his malady and to be there for him every minute of every day. And as I think back I know that the love and the Angels that have come to him and continue to come to him are what has made him strong. Strong enough to face each new assault on his body.

My daughter and I were chatting the other day as I walked down the road with her the few steps that take us from my house to hers. I said, "You know, Jay is not a little boy any more." That sounds like one of those remarks we make that are "duh" comments. It happened so fast. One day he was tiny and so dependent now he is entering adulthood and learning to use his wings to become independent. She agreed...nodding her head as I said the words. She had been thinking the same thing too. The years really do slip away so quickly.

I can only say that I am blessed to have this precious person, this precious grandson, in my life. There really are no words that can describe well how much his presence in my life means.

He lives every day to the fullest as he knows he day is a gift. He is diagnosed as terminal.

My picture of moments shared with my Grand Babies sounds idyllic, too good to be true. I have been asked whether they ever do anything that would be annoying to me. "How can it be that you only say how lovely they are and never report times of wanting to tear your hair out," I have been asked on more than one occasion.

There are those moments. But never to the point where I am filled with anger. Annoyed yes. Angry no.

To puzzle or not to puzzle....

A favorite pastime of mine is to put together jigsaw puzzles. Because I am a little OCD, I like to turn over all of the pieces before I begin to puzzle. I had just bought a new puzzle and it set it up in the spare room. My youngest Grand Baby has free run of my house. There really are few no no's here. I did mention to him not to touch the puzzle. He knew he could play with anything else in that room just not the puzzle.

On one visit to my house, I heard what sounded like a tiny shower of cardboard pieces as they hit the floor in the spare room. Almost positive I knew what it was, I went around the corner, a few steps from where my laptop was, and there was a shower of puzzle pieces scattered hither, thither, and yon.

Little grand baby looked at me and smiled. He knew.

I asked him to pick up the pieces. And he did.

It took F O R E V E R..

I held out my hand for them because at first he was just throwing them on the table. Handing them to me worked better for me.

He really wanted to quit picking them up but I kept pointing out more of them to him. Near the very end of the picking-up-the-puzzle-pieces escapade, he began to look at me with the silliest little grin on his face...almost as if to say: "Isn't this fun?"

The puzzle was put back in its box as I moved to a new house. I think it will not come out again for a while.

He has his own puzzles and we put those together. I just think those colorful pieces were too hard to resist.

It really isn't puzzling when I think about it. Whatever it is that is that I am working on is automatically of interest to my grandbaby. Of course, he wanted to put MY puzzle together.

• Once in a while maybe give an unexpected treat of some kind.

• Teach them something. My Father for example taught his grandchildren how to make sinkers.
• Go for a walk with them.
• Go fishing.
• Go hiking.
• Play games: scrabble, monopoly, card games.
• Have them teach you something.
• Share your life story with them.
• Let them know what you value: Without being preachy, let them know what is important.

A deeper insight into living...

• Loving costs nothing but enlarges our lives ten fold.
• Grandbabies are an extension of a child that we love...
• Grandbabies bring that little something extra that becomes extraordinary with each passing day.
• It is possible to love more than you ever thought you could.
• Loving them overflows into every phase of life.
• Being more patient, more accepting, and more open increases the richness of our lives
• Sharing as much time with our Grand Babies breathes more new life into each day.
• It is all about the L O V E.

The learning has only begun. A new day brings new experiences with these Grandchildren that fills my soul with a warmth that defies description.

Each new day with my Grandsons is like the first---there is a newness, a freshness to the experience that increases with time that we are together.

Grandchildren do rock...

Mine, rock my world every day!!!

To the moon and back....

I love them~~~~Forty quarts and a pickle just because they are on the planet.

My Momma always said those words to me....I repeated them to my daughter and now my grandchildren hear me say them. It is close to how much I love them.

http://www.grandparents.com/