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Love is a doing thing. Do it now.

Updated on January 29, 2011

Love really is something you do.

When we feel the desire to do something that makes our loved ones lives easier or more fun, what we are feeling is real love.

Children learn about love in many ways.

My grandchildren watch TV. Yes even the three year old girls. My daughter let's them watch chosen children's shows while she makes dinner or works at her online business.

They are free to go in to the backyard and play if they want to, and often do just that. Tiny TV critics!

The point is, the TV they are watching is always wonderful. Full of fun combined with gentle intelligent teaching. I feel sure that these re-enforcing messages of love from the likes of the Muppets helps kids to recognise a little of their natural narcissism, and measure the rewards of empathy and sharing. Your babies do the maths.

Constant cuddles from mom and dad are expected, reinforced and sanctioned by Television shows. They will measure your performance against the many shows like the Muppets that are showing how it should be. If you are naughty you are simply shown a better way, not yelled at.

Double love!

hear no evil.... or my twin sister will hit you!
hear no evil.... or my twin sister will hit you!

Kids pick up a very important element of love watching their parents doing loving things for each other.Doing something for others is also the fast track for adults to learn more about being a lover, that is a giver of love.

A simple example would be Dad helping mum do the dishes. What is learnt? Love. They share the load. Daddy loves Mummy, see he is helping her and she is happy, or see mummy loves Daddy whenever she is helping him.

Doing things for your loved one is a wonderful thing for kids to observe.

They get it straight away.

Taking the load off your partner demonstrates your motive and reasoning very clearly to children.They have already equated "helping" with good things a long time earlier.

It makes a connection for a child who has had the usual inputs.

Being around parents who are loving and older kids who promote caring and teach values children soak it up, because they can see and sense that it pleases and is reciprocal as clearly shown to them on TV shows from sesame street to Diego..

When I say mom and dad, i do not mean only conventional families.

Any form of family will do. The real romance of love is in doing for your loved ones. I think many moms have tried to teach this to their men.

Love not slavery.

I fear this love giving has been under-valued for too long and women rightly see housekeeping and home making as slavery when partners take all that effort for granted. if you both live in the same nest, both should look after it. .

Flowers and chocolate move over, helping out is much more romantic.

If she or he love flowers and chocolate and you can afford them, lovely, but long term caring at a day to day level is much more endearing than either or both.

People on the Internet often show a real caring for their friends online, sharing all sorts of things they feel may be helpful. Same stuff. Just make sure it happens at home too.

Real self worth.

If you have a healthy desire to help, it demonstrates a deep self worth.

It is powerful stuff.

The psychology Of love is so simple in truth, If you love someone, thinking of their need and fulfilling them is no hardship.

The world view of love has like many things been bastardised by advertisers to make money.

If you can get past all the promotions based around so-called love... the commercial use of the word and feelings to make money, the Coca Cola adds , the car and house buying adds you will be a lot saner about love than much of the world.

Love does not go to these ideas based around ownership, beauty, power, money or any of the other views that water love down and make it cheap and meaningless.

When you show your love by doing, run a check on yourself.

Is your doing really for the other or for yourself?

Of course you are doing It for yourself in the higher sense of self, and it is fine to do it for your higher self if that means doing a selfless thing for others.

In the final analysis love is always about self love, but self love is never about the ego driven desire to get what you want.

Self love is more like the love that we feel towards children. They reflect love when it is given like a mirror, and it is in being the instigator of a loving act who has the best real love in their lives. A reality based good self worth.

I may be a lousy writer, and even worse Internet marketer, but as I am a very successful grandfather who knows why I give my time to 3 and 4 year old, I have a good self worth at this level, and hey, kids are big time in my life so I feel self love from the knowledge that I do one important thing well.

Real self love, the non ego driven type that allows us to love others and ourselves grows with every act of love.


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    • profile image


      5 years ago

      Thank you Sara for letting me know. I'm not sure how to sucbirbse to your feed on Squidoo, or if there is a way, so if you let me know of newly published patterns I'll be happy to add them for you. As for your blog, I have sucbirbsed and try to link to any new patterns.It's already day 5 and I only have day one done, but I'm hoping to get my butt in gear soon. I've been under the weather for the last day and a half and it sure doesn't help when you sleep 24/7. There are many toxins coming out of me right now, so many that my skin is very rough over my whole body. I'm hoping when this cleanse is over that I'll feel good and be able to get on with my life.I so look forward to completing the challenge thank you so much for the encouragement!

    • profile image


      5 years ago

      Hey Terri, I am not sure of a good middle range hotel in Dubai but do rceall that hotels there are expensive. Also, better stick to reputable hotels too coz some of the hotels there are without unit number or street name. They go by, the hotel at the corner of A, at the junction of B etc ...but that was like 8 years ago. Not sure if they have changed the system. There s an interesting global village in the middle of the desert too. Only for woman, quite interesting with all countries from the world setting up Pavillion to represent their culture. The other must try in Dubai I feel is the Dune Bashing. Someone will come pick you up from the hotel to the desert, perform some adventurous ride with the 4WD on the desert before stopping by a large tent to enjoy local dinner underneath the desert sky. Usually accompanied by belly dancing, henna painting, photo session and camel ride.

    • profile image


      5 years ago

      Hi Terri, I'm a regular redear of your blog and I think it's brilliant! i'm currently a student in Manchester but have been to London quite a few times so here are some places I would recommend you to try out when you're in London.Borough market is a must.Roast duck rice in Four Seasons (either the original branch in Queensway or Chinatown).for fine modern french cuisine, try The Pearl Restaurant in Holborn by acclaimed chef Jun Tanaka. The three course lunch menu is 29 pounds per person. For the quality of the food and ambience, I think it's worth every penny spent.For good dim sum, try Pearl Liang in Paddington, its been voted best dim sum place by many food guides.oh, and here's something off the beaten track, for authentic italian food shopping experience, head to Brewer St in Soho and look for Lina Stores, an established italian delicatessen selling everything from strong Italian Kimbo coffee, a made to order salami filled ciabatta to freshly made ravioli.Enjoy your trip!

    • earnestshub profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago from Melbourne Australia

      Thank you.

    • Truth From Truth profile image

      Truth From Truth 

      9 years ago from Michigan

      Well done. I have more of your hubs to read. Thanks.

    • earnestshub profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago from Melbourne Australia

      Spontaneous love! I sure enjoy those out of the blue "I love you's" :)

    • DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

      DeBorrah K Ogans 

      9 years ago

      Earnestshub, Wonderful hub! I agree, We should "Do Love Now." I think one of the most important gifts is to demonstrate love. As you so wonderfully stated: "Being around parents who are loving and older kids who promote caring and teach values children soak it up, because they can see and sense that it pleases and is reciprocal as clearly shown to them on TV shows from sesame street to Diego.."

      We just had two of our grand daughters visit and it was so delightful to see them enjoy one another. We spend quality time with them and want them to have precious memories to reflect back on of their visits. While playing outside they would just call me and say "I love you" or come over and say "Can you help me please?" then go right back to playing. We can learn a lot from children and their sincerity of expression. Thank you for sharing Blessings!

    • earnestshub profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago from Melbourne Australia

      Thank you, and welcome to hubpages. Nice hubs!

    • GlstngRosePetals profile image


      9 years ago from Wouldn't You Like To Know

      earnesthubs: I really enjoyed reading this article and everything you wrote is so true, kids definetly learn what they see.

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      I'm glad for you and yes indeed, kids are the best. :)

    • earnestshub profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago from Melbourne Australia

      Thank you for such kind comments. I am very lucky these days with love, I have it all around me like a warm winter blanket. Ain't kids great?

    • profile image


      9 years ago

      this is a grand hub filled with truths.  I had no idea you were such an eloquent philosopher.  a healthy self loves honestly and we can only love others as much as we love ourselves.  a good life is taking good care of both ourselves and others we prioritize. 

      I love the way  you presented your grands "tiny tv critics".  how cute! 

      yes, love is learned.  hopefully we get it from the primary source, and sometimes learning that is a thing we have to seek when we, as I, are unfortunate enough to be born into a family that didn't have a clue.  I did find it, though, although I spent more years knowing what/who I didn't want to be, rather than getting on the path for finding who I did want to be and becoming that.

    • earnestshub profile imageAUTHOR


      9 years ago from Melbourne Australia

      Spot on Patricia. A childs love and trust is more than the mortal heart can hold.

      I cry with happiness when they're not looking!

    • Patricia Costanzo profile image

      Patricia Costanzo 

      9 years ago from Behind the Redwood Curtain

      earnest, I think its lovely that you spend time with your grandchildren. I think its children that teach us about love. I thought I loved, until I had children, now I realize I had only been playing at it. (Mine are 2 and 6)

    • earnestshub profile imageAUTHOR


      10 years ago from Melbourne Australia

      Thanks hootnhowell. Yes you are right. I long for peace too, and you are right about if 9/11 happened here we all know America's fine people would be onside.

      I feel we would both then be wrong, America and Australia.

      I feel the end of terrorists will come only after the end of financial and other tirranny we have put in place in other peoples land to protect what we see as our interests, and I will include just one example, and that is Australia's "sharing" of Timor's resources.

      The financial and other hardships that we have inflicted on whole nations in the name of resource developement or peace or an eye for an eye, or whatever reasons have not endeared us to other less prosperous countries.

      Destroying peoples lives as the terrorists did on 9/11 is not the answer and still does not help me to understand what America Australia and England did in Iraq.

      I just see the bombs, imagine the families, the kids and I cry.

      I have no solutions to the crazy extremists on either side of any war, just the sure knowlege that they are always there.

      I cannot agree with all that you say, but would hazzard a guess that the bulk of opinion would be with you.

      Sincere thanks for an honest decent and interesting reply. I appreciate the time you took and your feelings about all the times your wonderful country has done good in the world.

      I do love America, and will be back again soon if my writing doesn't get me banned!

      I do not wish to offend but I hate the way America's religion politics works.

      Same stuff as the bad guys. Extreme.

      Great writing, and I can always find enough width in my narrow view for an American with a strong spirit and point of view.I like my discussions like this. Cordial.

      You express yourself very well in my view.

      Thank you for comments so well and fairly put, I feel a bit chastised by myself!

      I enjoy your hubs very much and like your writing style too.I wish you very good luck and happy hubbing.

    • hootnhowell profile image


      10 years ago from Peoria Heights, Illinois

      Very interesting! Good hub. I find what you say is true. I've read a couple of your other hubs. I try to stay fairly apolitical, however what you say about war hits home. I am a pacifist by nature. I long for a day when the world will find away to settle differences outside the confines of war. That being said it is not America's lust for war that is the problem. As I see it the dogs of war and hounds of hell were unleashed to take the fight to the terrorists. Everybody seems quite happy to point their finger at us when we invade Iraq and inocents die. However who applauded us when we brushed off the bombing of our Embassies in Beirut, Africa, or the U.S.S. Cole in Yemen? No the world called us weak, we can't win. I as a citizen of planet earth insist terrorism end. If indeed we are going about it all wrong-at least we are going about it. I believe to my soul that had Sydney been attacked on 9-11,2001 we would have moved heaven & earth to stand by Austraila's side. Perhaps our occupation in Iraq is wrong. But perhaps our occupation has stopped attacks elsewhere. Nobody will ever know. My point is just that the world will never know peace till it is to late for peace to do us any good. Please do not judge us so strongly most Americans prefer a peaceful existence. May good luck lead your way and if we part or partner may good fortune find us both. Keep up your writing it shows great promise!


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