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Men are the Essence of Fatherhood
Fathers day has just been celebrated with the sounds of I love you cascading from the gentle lips of a child who adores their father. The hugs and kisses accompanied by gifts of thanks for being the father that every child wishes they could have during this wonderful day. But for some, this day is like every other day because dad is not there or has been tragically taken away by death. A job may take precedence over family if there is going to be food on the table or if the bills are going to be paid.
But whatever the reason, men should remember that the essence of fatherhood begins with men knowing who they are. Many identify themselves by their jobs or careers and so spend all of their time working and leaving their children looking out of the window night after night wondering when is daddy coming home? for other families daddy is home but he is still absent because most of his time is in front of the television watching the game or doing something that may not include them.
Many men may try to find their identity in stuff or money or even the number of women that have their number, but the essence of fatherhood is counting on the fathers to find out who they are if the next generation of fathers and mothers are going to emerge successfully. A father who knows who he is will know where he is and where he is going in life and this confidence should permeate the home. A GPS navigating system operates effectively from the point of reference of where a person is and this lays the ground work of navigating where the person is going through carefully planned steps. It is critical that the GPS system be programed from the reference point or the place of beginnings.
Where are you as a man?
Men who don't know who they are may find it hard to know where they are. I've been on trips to places that are unfamiliar to me and at times ended up in places that were unfamiliar. I was lost and uncomfortable because my family was looking to me for guidance and protection. I was assuring them everything was going to be OK, while wondering inside if it really would be OK. This is what a father faces in a world of uncertainty where he doesn't know if he will have a job tomorrow, or if he can pay that bill that's due next week.
He is lost but on the outside assures the family everything is going to be OK. Under pressure men may hide and end up in unfamiliar places unable to get back. They may hide in their work, at work, through denial and a number of other places while going through the motions of everyday life. He is at the supper table, but he is lost unable to get back, he may be on a family outing but he is lost and unable to get back. Get back to where you may ask? getting back to being the father and husband that the family is use to seeing.
Getting back to those original dreams for the family and the goals that were talked about by a wife who was 3 months pregnant.For a father, finding his way back through the maze of unfamiliar territory begins with knowing who he is and what his purpose really is. There is nothing new and every family has problems, some to a greater degree, but never the less, problems. A father who knows where he is in relation to his family has now just found the starting point for where he and his family are going. The key to getting out of debt is knowing where one is financially, the key to a better relationship is knowing where a relationship is by being honest and communicating.
Where are you going as a man?
The essence of fatherhood is also leadership and a man is expected to lead his home toward success. Without a plan of knowing where one is going and the GPS system called objectives on how to get there, there will be nothing to look forward to. There is more to life than just getting up out of bed and going to work and coming home again. When there is nothing to look forward to life becomes boring and hopless with hoplessness in the atmostphere. If there are no goals there is no way of knowing what has been accomplished and when. Yes a father leads his home with his wife by his side (if married). Problems can be overcome because others have done so. Fathers do make mistakes but they don't use those mistakes as excuses to fail, but they use them as stairs to learn from and climb those stairs to success!