Mom in a broken home
Love and Hate
- Love : The only way to feel any love from him is doing as he please following his rules and I try my hardest but it's not really much I can do but I feel the love when my little girl calls for me or when she smiles. To hear her sing and play and laugh is what I love the most.
- Hate his hate come from a much darker place that I have yet figured out. I think sometimes he blames me or sometimes he just puts all his anger towards me. I do so much and yet I still get treated like I'm a child.
Lost and Fear
The lost and fear. sometimes I feel that if I leave I will loose the one thing that actually matters. I gave up so much just for love though it was a stupid love that should have never happened. Though I do not regret it. I feel that him loosing his children is why I try to keep her with him but there's times I can only take so much. I made stupid mistakes as a child and I have to live with those the rest of my life but I don't think it should be thrown on my face and used to threaten me. Though that gives him every right to take her I believe and it scares me so much cause I can't lose her and if being unhappy is what it takes to keep her and make sure she is taking care of than I will hide my tears but wear a smile.
How do handle the stress that is caused day to day
I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one in the world that stays in an unhappy relationship. I know people gonna say get out before he starts to hit you or something else. But we all know that we put our kids first and ourselves last .