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Momisms, Quotes and Thoughts on Motherhood
My son turned 15 on Dec 1st and I have challenged myself to write 15 hubs that celebrate these awesome years of motherhood. These hubs would feature all the things, hopes, wishes and so many more that I want to share with my son. It would show the experiences from which I have learned, still learning, and those that I would like to learn as a mother. And I want to share this with all the parents and single-moms out there. The challenge was actually to write 15 hubs before December 1st but due to some issues I had with my day job, I was not really able to focus and so the change was to finish 15 hubs before the end of December. The first one I finished was A Mother's Playlist for Her Son, which featured songs that means a lot to me as a mom and as I celebrate motherhood.
I used to be active on Facebook and Tumblr. Unfortunately, Facebook became so intrusive or maybe it’s just me. I felt like everything was being put into FB, even what some had for breakfast, what they would have for lunch or dinner, it was becoming TMI. On the other hand, I loved Tumblr because it was my way of connecting with fellow football and Real Madrid fans and meet other Raulistas. Then Tumblr became the younger generations’ social media and I was getting a lot of stuffs on my dashboard, which they might appreciate but I didn't.
Then I got an invitation from a blogger I was following and the rest is history. Pinterest allowed me to choose what I wanted to “own” on my boards and to track all my interests. The boards I came to love game me lots and lots of great ideas, recipes and oodles of visually-satisfying images. Although lately, the “porn” stuffs have entered the realm of Pinterest again and every now and then I see ladies in au naturel. Anyway, I digress.
Like I said before, Pinterest allows me to pin all that I just want to, the topics I love and all that I can appreciate. And one of the things I really love are quotes that make me tgake notice, makes me think, and makes me want to be and do better. And from these quotes I was able to make several board and one of my favorites is the one where I pin quotes on motherhood and parenting. I believe that these quotes try to teach us something if we really dare understand it. On the other hand, there are those that what we call Mom-isms.
A year ago I think I wrote a blog about Momisms, things that moms all over the world love to say and expect their children to understand and/or follow simply because these are from them. Here are some of the most often uttered Mom-isms, add and exclamation point or a question mark and it will have a whole new meaning that would suit the situation. Btw, that is what my son made me realize. He said it is funny that he the same momisms/line can be used in 2 or 3 different situations, with just a change in intonation. It’s like a saying that’s always handy for any or all occasions. Of course, Moms have good intentions with these momisms and that is to remind children of proper behavior. There are times though, more often now than when he was younger, that these are uttered in desperation when one has reached the end of the rope.
Growing up, I used to hear these sayings a lot and promised myself I wouldn’t say it, too simply because I just hated it then. And now, unwittingly, my son is also hearing it, over and over again (his words not mine!). Moms know that we try our very best to simply talk to our children but in desperation we tend to mouth these lines, much as we hated it then. Raising a teenager is not easy, it's like we now live in two different planets, where people in our planet speak English and they speak digital and most of the time are deaf because of their headsets or earphones.
- You had best take that look off your face before I take it off for you.
- Just who do you think you are talking to?
- When you have kids of your own, you’ll understand.
- Do you think money grows on trees?
- If you don’t stop crying, I will give you something to cry about.
- If all your friends jumped off a bridge, would you?
- Not under my roof you won’t!
- What part of NO don’t you understand?
- If you break your leg climbing in that fig tree, don't come running to me.
It is important for us to parents to listen thoughtfully to what our children are sharing with us. No matter what the topic is, if they are very enthusiastic about sharing it with us no matter where you are at the moment, then it must be important for them. It may seem not as important as the call from our boss or our colleagues, but it will certainly set the kind of communication we will have with them in the future. If we are not willing to give them the time for what they consider big stuffs, such as who won the race at recess or that her seatmate took her Barbie, then we cannot expect them to share with us the big stuffs as they grow older. Take the time to listen, give them the same respect we want from them, because this will bear fruit for us in the future.
We cannot teach our children by simply mouthing values. Rather, we have to live each value for our children to understand. We lead by example is precisely what our children expects. We cannot say things and expect them to understand or follow while they see us doing the opposite. What they see from us, what they see us doing, what they feel from what we tell them, what we make them feel, these are the things that they remember and learn from. It is easy to tell them things but unless they see us doing it, practicing it, and living it, these values we teach will just be words and not learning.
Just like the way that we have been given the chance to be what we wanted to be, we should let our children be what God wants them to be. Never make the mistake of pushing your children to the path you wanted to go but was not able to do. It may have been your dream but it does not mean its your children's dream too. This is when rebellion usually starts, because they feel we are pressuring them to do what they do not want to do. Do not push them to the path where its easy to gain fame or wealth but rather support them on the path they have chosen. If you have taught them the right values then expect them to choose the path the was chosen for them by God.
This is one mistake that most parents make. We try to mold our children into what society deems as 'good' kid that we forget our own children are already good kids. Do not let society or other people dictate how your children should look or act. This teaches them to value the superficial.
And we can never be perfect moms, so let us not ran ourselves ragged finding ways to be perfect according to society's idea of perfect mom, that we neglect the little ways we can be good ones. Also, buying them stuffs, giving them everything they ask for, making their lives so easy and without responsibility, those are not ways to being perfect moms. In fact, parents who do not hold their children responsible for their misdeeds, is not helping their children. We actually handicap our children if we make the lives of their children easy by doing everything for them, by making excuses for them, and by living their lives for them.
We teach our children to read, write and do mathematics. We make sure that are children are educated in the best schools. We do everything so that the brain of our children are up to their potential. But, let us not forget that we also need to educate the heart of our children. We need to ensure that our children are emotionally secure so that they know they are loved, and will have enough of that love to share with others.
Raising the intelligence quotient is not the only key to success. When it comes to happiness and success in life, emotional intelligence (EQ) matters as much as intelligence quotient (IQ) does. The nourishment of their soul and heart is as important as the nourishment of their bodies and minds.
All parents hope that their children won't have any problems or heartaches or failures...reality though has taught us that anything is possible in life. We can only pray that if and when the time comes, we have brought up our children in such a way that they will be strong and confident enough to overcome it. And that no matter how small or big, no matter the distance, we will always be there for them.
According to St. John Basco, it is not enough that we love our children but it is more important and very much needed that they be made aware that we love them. Parents assume that our children knows we love them. That's not altogether true. Some may know but not wholeheartedly. There will come a point that they will question our love, especially during those trying growing years. Some parents give their children all their material needs and assume that their children know this is a sign of their love. Material things can never replace the sense of love that children would get if you play with them,if you are there for their first bicycle ride, if they can tell you about their dreams, heartaches, frustrations, triumphs, the small and big stuffs, the kiss goodnight, the can-you-kill-the-monster for me, those nights they want to sleep by your side, and most importantly, the different kinds of i love you for the various occasions in their lives.
Society has deemed it that parents know better and should instruct their children. While it is true that our children's first instruction should come from the parents, let us also remember that communication is two-way. We also learn from them.
Children should not be spoonfed rather they should be taught to question things. They should be taught not to simply accept things as they are told but to look closer and question the things that do not jive with the principles they believed in or what is right.
Let us not spoon-feed or coddle our children because it is not going to help them. Life is not easy or smooth-sailing and they need to know that. We cannot straighten the road for them or make things easy for them. What we can do is teach them how to meet these challenges their own way and not OUR way. Let our children learn their own way and if they make mistakes on their way, that's when they learn, the same way we did. When we dictate the way it would be our way and they will never learn to find their own way. We are not being helpful, in fact we are making our children dependent on us that they will not be able to stand on their own.
What our children have learned from us will be their inner voice. The conscience that guides them in all their actions. The inner voice or essence of who they are as persons is guided by how we talked to them as children
Our children come to us with a clean slate, with no biases and prejudices, without knowledge of what to like and dislike, what is right and what is wrong. Everything that they will know, especially during the formative years, are what they see, feel, and learn from us.
Take care of what they learn from us. Whatever prejudices we have is what they will also have because they leaarned it from us. The set of beliefs that they live by are developed over years of experience. So take extra care of what comes out of our mouths and what they see from our actions.
- Quotes to live by
mother, daughter, sister, friend, soccer fan, Foxydeltan is using Pinterest, an online pinboard to collect and share what inspires you.
- 10 Quotes for Parents to Live By
This collection of my favorite parenting quotes reiterates the most important aspects of parenthood and having children, that we often lose sight of.
These quotes are just some of my favorites as a mom. Lists to live by, points to ponder, notable quotes, whatever we may call them, these are but sayings. Its up to each of us how we make use of it.