Momma, Sweet Momma~~What Mommas Teach Us
My Daddy, My Momma, and Me (at age18)
Angel Trumpets Remind Me of those My Momma Would Grow
Three Sisters...Loved by an Amazing Momma
Our Momma will teach us what we need to know to become the best version of ourselves.
What we learn from her will carry us through the highs and lows of life.
With her wisdom and insight, we are girded with an armor that will serve us well as we face the challenges that come our way, no matter what our age.
By the way for those who read this before I corrected my title (I came back on to read and look for errors), my Momma did teach me to use correct grammar and punctuation: of course in this title it is Mommas not Momma's....how did I DO that???
The natural state of Motherhood is unselfishness. When you become a Mother, you are no longer the center of your own universe. You relinquish that position to your children.— Jessica Lange
.Blessed is the way I describe the fact that 69 years ago I was born into a family whose Momma was a woman who remains the single most influential woman that ever entered my life.
She taught me HOW to live. Many of the how-to's she taught my sisters and me are the very same ones that many others tell me their Mommas taught them. It was this loving way that life was explained and would unfold as the weeks turned to months and years. And I would become a Momma and would understand for the first time so much my Momma had tried to explain to me.
Would I have learned these lessons without her wisdom? Perhaps, but it is doubtful.
She had something going for her that I did not. She had already experienced so much of what life brings and having walked the walk before me gave her the insight to voice what she knew to be true and valuable.
My Momma's Precious Husband, My Daddy, and My Sister Who Left the Planet at age 9
Others Have Shared with Me...
Before I began this article I spoke with numerous friends and relatives, men and women, to find what they believed to be true about their own Momma.
Much of what is written in this article is a compilation of those discussions.
This is by no means a scientifically conducted interviewing process, nor is it a broad sampling; it is simply thoughts collected through the years and in most recent conversations.
How to Be the Best YOU
Momma teaches us from our youngest years to do and be our best. Not the best as compared to someone else but to be our personal best.
Learning that we CAN achieve what we set our minds to is a huge part of what Momma instils in her children---boys and girls who grow to become confident members of society.
Learning from her that achieving is not always easy and does not always come at the first attempt is key. Learning to never give up and believe in oneself is part of that armor she helps us to develop.
Gathering Squash and Pumpkins was a Family Event
How to Share and Care
Momma teaches us to share with others particularly those who have less than we do. And in my family, we were not 'of money.' We were 'cash' poor compared to some members of our community but truthfully we were not really poor. We had a nice home and many acres of land...and more than enough of everything to live a contented life.
Our Momma taught us to share with those in our community who really did have needs that would not be met if members of our town did not pitch in.
Equally as important as learning to share was learning to care about the welfare of others. Even those with whom we had little contact. Understanding that thinking of others and their needs was a fundamental part of what Momma taught us as we lived from day to day.
Successful Mothers are not the ones that have never struggled. They are the ones that never give up despite the struggles.— Sharon Jaynes
A Higher Power
Most of those with whom I spoke told of their Momma leading them to a Higher Power.
Momma had lead them to believe there was something greater than they are, something greater and more important to their lives than even family members. For some that Power is God. That was the Power and is the Power that has been 'my rock and my salvation' throughout the years.
Not everyone believes in God but most with whom I chatted believe that there is something more than just human strength and conviction.
My Momma taught my sisters and I from our earliest years of God and His love. She assured us that the reason the plants and flowers grew and flourished on our property was because God was with her as she worked the land.
Each Time I See Beautiful Flowers My Momma is Close to My Heart
Motherhood is a choice you make everyday, to put someone else’s happiness and well-being ahead of your own, to teach the hard lessons, to do the right thing even when you’re not sure what the right thing is…and to forgive yourself, over and over again, for doing everything wrong.— Donna Bell
How to Give with No Expectation of Anything in Return
Learning to give of our time or our possessions is often taught at a young age. And because of that, it often becomes a lifelong way of living.
Being willing to help another person perhaps with yard work or some household chore without expecting anything is return is unselfish giving. Doing such giving asks something of the individual who is involved. It asks either monetary giving or giving of one's time...and the rewards to those to whom it is given and to those doing the giving are immeasurable.
Feeling thankful that my Momma taught my sisters and I to do give of ourselves.
The keys to patience are acceptance and faith. Accept things as they are, and look realistically at the world around you. Have faith in yourself and in the direction you have chosen.— Ralph Marston
How to Be Patient
Have you ever been in a situation where you felt like you would explode if you had to wait another moment?
How about the time you were in line and the person ahead of you tried three times to get the info in about their credit card and still could not make it work?
Or the person in front of you at the bank took F O R E V E R?
Mommas teach us from our earliest days to be patient. It is modeled. Mommas are masters at being patient as children and then later, grandchildren, learn how to do some new task.
Momma, my Momma, was Queen of Patience. No matter what the situation or who the person was, she was patient and never lost her cool. Never.
I am not at that level, yet, and perhaps will never be. But I do not let things bother me really that require patience. My motto is : I never go anywhere in a hurry. So if the person ahead of me is slow and unsure, I wait. It will be my turn. And I often pass along a kind word to a cashier who is so patient with the person who is struggling to make their credit card work.
How to Problem Solve
Mommas teach us many lessons with direct instruction: how to brush our teeth or tie our shoes for example.
But one tool my Momma taught my sisters and me was to problem solve.
And I am so thankful for that. I still use that today. I am by no means a master at problem solving, but I will try, usually many times, to solve a problem. And if after all efforts are exhausted, then I will ask someone for help.
As a teacher for 40+ years, I used that in the classroom too. I would ask the child who needed to help to see if they could come up with a solution to their problem and often they did.
They were able to take prior knowledge and apply it to a new situation and voila, a solution often came.
How to Understand Death
One lesson that I learned far to early was that death comes. My sister died at age nine when I was just four years old. I have written about her several times and she is in the photo with black hair above.
I remember her death as vividly as if it were yesterday. My Momma and my Daddy treated her death in such a gentle way with me that I did not fear death. They told me she was gone. I saw her as she lay in the casket in the beautiful dress my Momma made of satin...
My Daddy told me to wave goodbye to her as he held me in his arms. And my Momma talked with me about death in such a way that I somehow understood it was part of life. After that pets would die and I was able to process it much better I think because of the way both of my parents handled it.
Momma would comfort me when I did cry after my sister died and reassured me that she was not hurting any longer and that seemed to soothe the pain for me.
Have a Sense of Humor
One thing Momma will teach us is to not take things too seriously.
Some things, yes, are serious and should be treated as such. But having the ability to laugh at some silly thing we do or at a crazy situation we may find ourselves keeps the fun in our life.
On a daily basis there are many times when something tiny could become blown out of proportion. Having that reserve humor tucked inside of us helps us to diffuse our feelings and perhaps a situation with others so that all ends well.
Our Momma taught us to be serious when it was 'serious' time and to have fun and laugh and even 'kid'. She allowed us to be children and to enjoy life while keeping that balance within our lives that has traveled with us down through the years.
Learning to Love
Momma will teach us to love through modeling.
We can say all kinds of words that talk about love, but living love is so much more powerful.
Loving enough to say NO when it is needed.
Loving enough to listen to what we might not want to hear without judging or screaming.
Loving enough so that those receiving our love can feel it.
Mommas around the world love each day...giving of their time and energy and insight to help children become the independent person that will begin their own journey one day.
My sisters and I were so blessed to have a Momma who taught us the essentials of living that we carry with us today.