ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Mommy's Lessons Learned - Teenage Heartbreak

Updated on June 20, 2011

Mommy's Lessons Learned - Teenage Heartache

One of the toughest things to attempt to fix a child’s broken heart especially when that child is your own. What a heavy feeling I get each time my girls are crushed by the curve balls they've been thrown in their young lives. We have arrived at the tricky and tender ages of 11 & 15. Whether it's the discovery of boys and their wicked ways or betrayal by girls they once thought of as friends, it's always a difficult job trying to get them to truly believe it's not the end of the world and this too shall pass.

Already my eldest daughter has had her hopes crushed on two occasions. Its hard enough being a teen in 2011, with peer scrutiny as high as ever, but in this world of social networking the stakes are raised even higher, when at a moments notice your heartbreak is out there for all your "friends" to see, gossip and text about in a frenzied whirlwind. Her first blow happened in that very manner. She thought everything was fine and dandy with her first crush....when suddenly she sees her "status" go from "in a relationship with so & so" to "single" when he changed it on his end, without any warning whatsoever. Immediately she was hit with an text and instant message assault of epic proportions from everyone wanting to know what happened when she didn't even have a clue. He never said a word, and just left her hanging wondering what went wrong. It was so painful seeing her so dejected, hurt and crying for hours. Months later he had the nerve to ask her out again. Thankfully she had the self-respect to decline, which I must say I was very proud of. The sting from that experience still lingers.

Her second experience was even more mind boggling, the young man was very sweet, attentive, respectful and well mannered. He took the time to talk with me, meet me and even introduced his father to us. He called every night and they spoke for hours for weeks, everything yet again appeared peachy keen. Yet again, without any forewarning he gave her the old-as-time "your too good for me, its not you it's me, I don't want to hurt you" speech. This one, amazingly so, totally took me by surprise, since I too was taken by his how was I supposed to make her feel better about it?

Somehow at some point in every moms life she always ends up being thought of as clueless, as if we never had a childhood and were born "old". I get "you have no idea what it feels like mom", "you don't understand" and the perennial exasperated "Never-mind!" The only way to break this false image of cluelessness was to drag out and dust off my own past personal experiences with heartbreak and share it with my daughters. Surprisingly it was still tough reliving those times knowing all to well the growing pains of a teen-aged girl.

My earliest memory of boys being unfeeling, thoughtless jerks was my first "boyfriend", the one who I gave my first kiss to. I was in 7th grade and finally someone noticed me. I was elated. He was cute, smart and seemingly nice. We talked, he asked me to be his girl and I happily accepted only to be crushed after that first peck on the lips, when I found out I was only part of a bet between him and his friends. Talk about a huge blow to my self-esteem. I was so hurt and embarrassed about being taken for a fool. It took me a long time to trust another boy again. After hearing what I had experienced my daughter looked at me with a quizzical look followed by one of sympathy and understanding. I went on to explain what a difficult process it was learning to take into account that everyone was different and couldn't be blamed for the actions of one.

Luckily, I did learn that lesson and over the years no matter how many times after that I was hurt, I gave each individual a clean slate and the benefit of the doubt and still continue to do so. I’m not advising anyone, especially my girls to act as a doormat in any way, but to be open and receptive to what each person brings to the table and not judge them by the bad actions of the others before them.

Of all the lessons that can be taken from heartbreak, that is the one I'd like to pass along to my children. Everyone deserves a chance and shouldn't be burdened with the weight of the baggage left before them. It is the only way to give and receive true love when it finally finds you.


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
    ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)