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Moms Need to Just Say No

Updated on June 9, 2015

Give special time just for you

A day of spa treatments works wonders for the mind, body and soul. Try it sometime.
A day of spa treatments works wonders for the mind, body and soul. Try it sometime. | Source
How about a pedicure without the kiddies?
How about a pedicure without the kiddies? | Source
Avoid rushing this time alone. Enjoy the time away from worry about others
Avoid rushing this time alone. Enjoy the time away from worry about others | Source
Loading and running the dishwasher sometimes is a chore doable later. Learn to let it go.
Loading and running the dishwasher sometimes is a chore doable later. Learn to let it go. | Source

Pedicures are done at home almost as often as at the salon. This is a great buy from Amazon for those mommies spending the time in house to get the job done.

The hardest job you will ever love is certainly correctly describing motherhood. Look what Amazon offers on the subject for a very good price

Healthy moms reduce the risk of diseases like hypertension, diabetes and other life altering events.

Does any mother ever really get a day off? Although most admit they love the job and understand what they signed on for, they still long for a little "me" time now and then. Putting the needs of others, most admittedly family, ahead of personal ones is a difficult habit to break.

Not all habits are good. In fact, breaking bad ones are a great idea. These are always the most difficult to get rid of. Create new ones which are the opposite. Some include mom saying no every now and then. Find out how to do just that.

Some of the chores on the list make it difficult

They are the household member typically losing sleep with the sick child, staying up late to assure the dishes are loaded and the dishwasher ran, sorting dirty clothes, packing school lunches, changing dirty diapers and verifying the dusting and cleaning has been completed by week’s end. The list is long and extensive.

Getting 6 hours of sleep per night is a norm and Sunday dinner is a must. Countless still work a job and take care of a hubby that needs his attention too. How does it all get done? There is always something to do which makes avoiding any on the list a daunting task. Though it is certainly not impossible with a little work.

Women work themselves to an earlier death

This is actually very hard work. A recent survey in one of America's leading publications connected the shorter life expectancy in women with the activities or roles in a woman's life. Eight out of every ten work a job as well as taking care of everything else which comes with having a family. It's equivalent to working two full time jobs for 80% of females.

Childbirth, planning a wedding, baby showers, birthday parties, buying a house, keeping a house and investing in in raising amazing children are all ideal goals. Getting to these is when the toll appears to be taken. It is nice to slow down and smell the roses. Keep yourself healthy and live longer doing it.

Change a few of these habits and work shorter hours at home to live a longer life. It is a win/win situation.

Avoid being a perfectionist

It is impossible to complete every task perfectly. This does not stop mom from attempting to make it so. Nothing is perfect. In fact, being without any flaws of any kind is actually mathematically impossible. Folding towels faultlessly or with exact precision is not a possibility so why try to be without fault? It creates nothing but stress which is never a good thing.

This certainly does not mean do a half hazard job with tasks. Coming to the realization perfection is not achievable is actually when more tasks are completed and fulfilled. Skirting away from the ideal of it gives an individual additional time to do more overall with the time at hand instead of wasting time on one or a few things.

For those who simply are unable to lower their standards to average, there is a compromise. Excellence sounds like a great place to start. Excellence is achieved by getting close to perfection. This is a great focus.This is not necessarily saying no, but getting close to it for those unable to form the words.

Mental health suffers

Expecting flawlessness with everything halts the process for anything and puts a kink in it. Again this is a sources of unnecessary stress. Sometimes stress is a main culprit in seeing everything come to a stop and nothing being done. Mental health is compromised and is a cost not worth paying.

This is not the right thing to do. Everything runs on some type of fuel and eventually runs out of it or breaks down. This particular analogy works for the car as well as mommies. Every so often stop before the failure of the entire system comes to an end or interruption. Guaranteed no one has the perfect family or home, even if it looks that way. Keep the mind in good health along with the body by saying enough is enough when it is.

Appreciation is needed and deserved

Mothers have an innate drive to do for others and countless admit the inability to control or hold back this natural reaction. This means mom agrees to do the bake sale while keeping the appointment with the furnace guy coming this Tuesday at 2:00pm. There are times when It gets so bad they skip meals, miss personal doctor appointments or put off routine health visits.

Imagine how many mothers live this lifestyle without question.Mom tells everyone she never minds doing these things. Though is this really the point? Does everyone deserve what is being given. Everyone except for the workhorse?It is difficult to see what she does unless she doesn't do it. This is typically when the family and friends notice. The contribution is so great when it is missing the whole is enormous.

Mother's Day does come once each year and nice things are said. Yet, there are possibly thousands of opportunities missed to say the same thing for no special reason as all. Every so often is wonderful to hear how great mom is. It actually gives lots of individuals the fire or fuel to go on and continue the actions which make a mom brilliant.

It’s okay to say no to others and yes to personal needs. It sounds great and fairly easy. The idea of relaying this message is another thing entirely. The reality is this is beneficial for both parties in lots of ways. This is an opportunity to make things better for everyone. When she is happy everyone is happy.


It’s not being selfish, it’s being realistic. If you go, go, go without any downtime it’s not good for you mentally as well as physically. Our bodies are designed or formulated through motherhood to do more but there is no such thing as a superwoman. They are not created to run on fast and furious at all times for long extended periods of time. This is a goal anyone is unable to maintain for any length of time.

Mental health

It is an advantage in many ways to say no. Saying is good for mental health because it gives a person a sense of control. Feeling out of control is extremely stressful. Having the ability to dictate a where and when in many instances feels wonderful. Additionally, freeing up a little mental downtime to possibly relax or mediate is also a godsend for most.

Eat and Sleep

Eating and sleeping right is great for health so the opposite holds true. Losing out on sleep and don’t eat healthy meals, it’s bad for anyone's health. A good night’s sleep and nutritious meals are a must and need to be a priority to sustain feeling good physically and keep up with the rigors of a full life. Women admit when feeling better it shows in everything being done at home and the office as well. Interacting with others is even on a more positive note.

Sleep helps the body’s cells rejuvenate and sustain improved health. If you are getting less sleep and doing more, stop right now. It is okay to run the dishwasher in the morning after a hard day full of other responsibilities.

Take that extra hour to wind down and get a good night sleep most days of the week instead of staying up past the wee hours trying to squeeze in those extra couple of things that absolutely “needs” to be done. Living with improved health is the right way to recharge the body's batteries. Good sleeping habits make mom look great as well.

Find relaxation again

Before being a mom is certainly was much easier to find the time to relax. This habit is not lost. Simply learn where to find it again. It is still there and achievable. How long has it been since those toes had a pedicure? Get a pedicure or a massage. Take some time to do things that are relaxing and help to unwind.

This doesn’t include running errands or multitasking to get the "mom list" done. Avoid rushing from the salon after having hair done to pick up the kids for soccer practice. In order to enjoy the relaxation techniques discover how to appreciate it and not worry over other things in the process. Especially what needs to be done.

This is time to be alone. Don’t take the kiddies along, find a sitter or ask hubby. It doesn’t have to be Mother’s Day to get a few minutes of time alone. These are great ways to recharge mental batteries too. Emergencies are an exception and not to be avoided, but how many are real emergencies and not simply imagined for the family members involved? Some circumstances are what hubby and kids could responsibly take care of without input from mother.

Take the weekend for you

As children get older, take a weekend away alone or with sister or a girlfriend. Shop in Chicago or go to the opera. These are things deserved and long overdue. For many mothers this was formerly an enjoyed activity which suddenly became out of reach after becoming mom. This is not true. Do not make it true. Although more planning goes into the process, it is still there for the taking.

Being away from the family for a couple of days does not mean spending thousands of dollars flying to Bali for six months out of the year. In fact, some simply check into a local hotel and have fun with the amenities. Take a swim, have a massage or simply sit in front of the fire and read a book without interruption .

In conclusion

Lots of people laugh and make the joke of "before children" and "after children" as two different things. The former was much funner and with more freedom than the latter. It certainly is different, but the punchline is after children is horrible. Avoid this scenario and make being someone's mother something as wonderful as it sounds by taking time to be you as well.

Believe it or not by staying healthy in it takes care of everyone else as well. Eating correctly, sleeping right and recharging mental batteries keeps mom healthy and happy. When this woman is happy everyone is happy.

No one is superwoman and is able to get everything done all of the time

Any attempt to meet this impossible standard means spending too much time on any one thing and leaving lots of items unfinished. Energies are actually wasted coming to the rescue of doing dishes flawlessly or removing every speck of dirt (real or imagined) from the kitchen floor. Mom has lots of items on the list of things to be done. Exactness does not help meet the goal of getting all of these accomplished.

Mental stress kills as quickly as physical stress

In the end the cost is enormous. While attempting to save time, pain, stress and even money there is a greater cost paid. Not remembering what and if there was a lunch eaten today is not a great way to live. No one lives under this type of routine without giving up something. It is a compromise with mom always paying.

Keeping the mind and body is great shape keeps everyone happy. Recharge the mind and body when ever possible. If impossible, find ways to make it happen.

A benefit coming to children in the form of responsibility is a wonderful gift from any mother

Teach children responsibility as they mature. This means turning over some of the items on the to do list to their capable hands. Raising kids with responsibility is a great way to turn out an amazing adult and member of society.

The responsibility will coincide with a kid’s age and mental status. Everyone is different and most parents are aware of which ones match up with what kid. This is an enormous benefit to children in the long run. Teaching them the lesson when they are eighteen is a wasted event and usually backfires to something negative.

The history and origins of Mother's Day

How often are you investing in you?

As a mother how often do you find time to invest in you? This means things such as a pedicure, taking in a movie, finishing a book or simply going to a yoga class.

See results

© 2011 smcopywrite


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    • KoffeeKlatch Gals profile image

      Susan Haze 6 years ago from Sunny Florida

      Absolutely true - When mom is happy everyone is happy. I remember the days when I ran myself into the ground trying to be the perfect mom. I never said no to any project. I came to realize that my girls needed me more than the cupcakes I could make for their bakesales.

    • feenix profile image

      feenix 6 years ago

      smcopywrite, I totally agree with b. Malin: "Your last paragraph sums it up so well." This is a terrific hub and offers very good advice to moms, the most important people in the world, as far as I am concerned.

    • susiebrown48 profile image

      susiebrown48 6 years ago from Clearwater, FL

      Well said, perfectly timed! Im exhausted from preparing for Mother's day of all things! LOL...

    • b. Malin profile image

      b. Malin 6 years ago

      Your last paragraph sums it up so well. A wonderful Hub, for all of us to read and learn from. Thank you smcopywrite!

    • daisyjae profile image

      daisyjae 6 years ago from Canada

      So true, every mom should read this hub!