Mother Burn Out
Well, nobody is perfect.
It's not perfection that I was striving for, it was a better version of my own upbringing. Having said that, in my case, anything had to be reevaluated, and re educate myself in what motherhood was supposed to be.
Geez, I still remember how terrified I was when I found out I was pregnant the first time. People like me shouldn't have children on a whim. Specially with a childhood filled with abandonment and abuse. And no reference to what being a family should be. But I became determined to be everything that my child needed from me. Boy was I in for a reality check.
The writing on the wall
I really thought that reading every book, taking classes and watching hours of parenting shows on t.v. would prepare me for what I called the "Ultimate Labor of Love".
Of course, at eighteen , we are more than idealists, we are way off the mark. I was sadly mistaken.
The myth of control
Did you met your expectations as a parent?
We can be our worst critics. True, people always will give you a piece of their mind regarding how to raise a family. That includes family, friends, co workers, church ,even strangers will give the 411 on how to rear your kids. That's inevitable. How you handle that is up to you. In my case, I was so afraid of missing out on valuable information that I welcome it.
Even my own children, would tell me their opinion on the matter. Of course, according to their vast interest in getting away with stuff. That is until they reached their teens. Everything seemed lost in translation. Or just plain lost.
What the hell am I doing?!
I have come to realize that being a parent is a loose, loose, no matter what I give position. Is it the application of the theory wrong? The technique? The environment? A combination of everything? Now that my children are in their early twenties, I can honestly say
I am so done!
To prevent this burn out.
- Never neglect your heart
- Prioritize your health
- Seek help
- Build a network of friends and family
- Never stop learning new things
A mother's job is never done dear!
That may be true. But im positive that all this pent up sadness,disappointment,stress and even anger needs to be dealt with before it destroys my relationship with my kids permanently.
I said it, I'm so sick and tired of these millennials. Giving it all, was my mistake,literally. The list of "I should have's" is longer than the one with the I shouldn't s. That in itself is regrettable. Self care ,was never in my priority list so now I pay for it dearly.
My health got compromised to the point of having a mild heart attack not even a week ago . Again, I take full responsibility for this. I will turn forty years old soon,and is about time to take the bull by the horns and un burn myself. Chuckle...
© 2016 Anan Celeste