ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel
  • »
  • Family and Parenting»
  • Parenting Skills, Styles & Advice

A Mother’s Day of Reflection

Updated on August 9, 2014

Three Mums With Their first Child

Four Generations and three mums with their first child
Four Generations and three mums with their first child | Source
My Brother Mum and me on one of the holidays she worked two jobs to provide.
My Brother Mum and me on one of the holidays she worked two jobs to provide.
My mum
My mum

May 3rd Mothers’ Day My Reflections

I was going to write an article on Mothering Sunday its history how it got its name, when it is held and why. I looked around the web and see many have done this already so I have decided to do a much more personal approach.

Today in Spain is Mothers Day and today I was presented with a little hand made gift by one of the children in the church along with all the other females in the church. The giving of a small present or a flower is common in churches all over the world on the day they choose to honour Mothers in their countries. But this is not what I have chosen to write about.

As an English woman living in Spain with a daughter living in America I have three dates available to me on which to celebrate Mothers’ day. Today as usual on a Mothers’ day my thoughts begin to wander bringing up all sorts of emotions.

First I am aware that my daughter lives thousands of miles way with her husband and children and on a day like today when I see mothers and their children celebrating it makes me aware of what I am missing. I ache with longing to be near her and her family. My daughter is the baby being held by her great grandmother in the four generations photograph.

I know that I am fortunate because in this day and age I have email, Facebook, Skype, voicemail, and the telephone with which to keep in contact with my daughter and my son also hooks up the computer sometimes so that my daughter and I can see each other as we talk.

However, as good as all this is it is nothing like spending real time together doing ordinary mother daughter stuff. I saw my daughter in the flesh at Christmas but with the financial crises in full swing in Spain, I am not sure when we will be able to see one another again. So today on this special day there is a real longing in my heart for my daughter and the family.

Next my thoughts go to my mum who died just over fourteen years ago and the older I get the more I have grown to appreciate what a wonderful woman my mum was.

When I was a young mum I was sure I was going to do a better job than my mum in bringing up my two children, I had a not so little list of things that I wouldn’t do and mistakes I would not make based on my opinions of where my mum had come up short and where she had made mistakes.

When I look back at those times I by am embarrassed by some of the judgments that I had made about my mum. I had no idea of the hardships she had to overcome, the sacrifices she had to make to give us the childhood that we enjoyed. I am ashamed at how much I took for granted as normal the things her sacrifices bought us, and as a child never thought to thank her for them.

What I wouldn’t give to sit down and have a cuppa tea with my mum and tell her how much I appreciate the all the things that she did for me and my brother as we were growing up.

I was fortunate that a few years before my mum died our relationship grew much closer and I actually got around to telling her how much I loved her but oh there are so many things that I never got around to saying.

Those of you who are still blessed enough to have your mum still around please do leave these things unsaid, tell her how much you appreciate her and how much you value what she has done for you and gave up for you.

I cannot believe how selfish and self-centered I was and I regret the time I wasted judging so many things that I knew little about. The young can be so arrogant I thought I knew it all, I am so sorry mum for all the hurtful things I have said and done, I would be proud if I could be half the woman you were mum.

Finally my thoughts go to my Birth Mother and wonder if she is still alive and does she ever think of me? It is on my birthday and on Mothering Sunday that my thoughts turn to my birth mother and I think of how hard her life was.

She was just twelve and a half when she gave birth to me, her father and mine being the same so I guess we are also half sisters and my dad is also my granddad. According to my mum my birth dad was put into prison for incest which obviously came to light when I was born.

I cannot begin to imagine the horrors that my birth mother had to endure at the hands of her father. I would love to be able to let her know how I turned out and about the two wonderful grandchildren that she has. This would not take away from the horror of the things that were done to her but at least there is something good that has come out of it.

I never spoke much to my mum about my birth mum, in fact I didn’t learn what I have just told you until I was around thirty years old and had two children of my own. We only spoke the once about it and I never brought it up again for fear of hurting my mum by wanting to contact or get to know more of my birth mum it seemed to me that it would have been seen as an ungrateful thing to do after all mum had done for me.

Mothers’ Day has passed once again and I realize how much I have had and I have. I had a mum and family that loved me and gave me a wonderful childhood sometimes at a sacrificial price.

Mum worked two jobs most of her life to make sure we got the best she could give us. Also I have been blessed by having a wonderful husband forty five years now and still going strong plus two of the greatest kids in the world.

I hope that you have enjoyed coming on my Mothers’ day wanderings, thanks for staying with me to the end.

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • maggs224 profile image
      Author

      maggs224 8 years ago from Sunny Spain

      I do cherish eveything I have and I have just returned from a three week holiday in the USA where we had Christmas and the New Year with my daughter and family we had a great time thanks for your comments.

    • marieryan profile image

      Marie Ryan 8 years ago from Andalusia, Spain

      You must cherish dearly what you have had and what you have now and celebrate that all your hardships have made you what your are, no doubt; a wonderful mother. Your experience has probably made you more aware than most of the great responsibility mothers have.

    • maggs224 profile image
      Author

      maggs224 8 years ago from Sunny Spain

      thanks Ethel I can always use a hug

    • ethel smith profile image

      Eileen Kersey 8 years ago from Kingston-Upon-Hull

      Sending a hug Maggs

    • maggs224 profile image
      Author

      maggs224 9 years ago from Sunny Spain

      lovezan glad you liked the hub and thanks for leaving a comment I really appreciate it.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: "https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr"

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)