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Full-time Parenting vs. Full-time Employment

Updated on March 19, 2013


Before you had kids you could have a midnight swim on a secluded beach, a dinner on the patio dressed in next to nothing, a night out dancing 'til dawn, or an evening of passion right in your own bed.

Staying home with kids, what a dream? Or, is it? Those parents who are out there working wish they were at home, and the ones who are at home wish they were out there.

It's up for debate whether or not it's good for the children. There have been documented studies proving both situations are good for children in different ways. The question you really need to ask is whether or not it's good for the parent who chooses to stay at home with the kids.Should a person forgo his or her career to maybe bring up well adjusted children who will be productive in society?

You know what? A person can't really say until they're in the situation day after day, year after year. So, by the time you can really tell whether it's good for you or not, it could be too late. You could have lost it by then.

Once you make a conscience decision to live this lifestyle,( that which was the norm back in the fifties), you have to know that something's got to give. That is, some things aren't going to be the same with only one income. Sacrafices must be made. This is a big one. What do you cut out of an already economy-ridden income? If a couple can agree on these issues there will be less resentment later.

Then there's the matter of time. You know, who does what and when. When I stayed home with my son while my husband worked, I did all of the domestic duties, but he still did all of the hard and complicated work around the house and yard. It's hard for the person at home though. There's no thanks. No check. No bud's at work to hang around with. But, you can get out with your children and socialize with parents who also have children about the same ages. This really makes a difference.

Next on the list, I would say that a plan for after the children are in school all day, is necessary. This will give the caretaker some hope that things will be different at some point in time. Work on this plan long and hard. It will be your saving grace.

While you're in this role you have to make extra sure that you maintain a couple- type relationship with your spouse. That's right. You have to date in some way, shape, or form. You'll come to find this time very important when it comes to maintaining your sanity over the long haul. Believe me, I didn't go out enough and it wasn't good.

Balancing family, work, and personal time isn't easy when both partners work outside the home, but when one person stays at home special attention must be paid to that person's feelings. If you keep this in mind while you're making plans and decisions there is a possibility that situation could work out. I guess the real issue here is whether or not you can afford to stay home in the first place.


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    • Barbara Kay profile image

      Barbara Badder 6 years ago from USA

      I stayed home with my kids whenever I could. There were times because of finances that I had to work, but I spent many years at home. The one big negative is that you ruin your career. At least mine went downhill considerably because of the years at home. I agree too that the mom doesn't get out enough.

      I think possibly kids that have stay at home Moms are less independent. This is both good and bad.

      One of the good things though, is your kids are growing up with your values, not their caretakers. I enjoyed watching them grow up too and would have never given those years up.

      Good hub.