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Mum! Please don’t leave me! Tips on how to deal with a clingy child

Updated on October 16, 2019

Bringing up a child is every mum’s joy and most mums will spare every single moment to be with their children, but there comes a time when mum and child will eventually be separated, either due to school, resumption of job or other reasons.

Whether this child is a toddler who does not want to be left in a nursery or an older child who dislikes mum going out, all mums will have to deal with child clinginess at some point in their life. It becomes a worrying issue when the child results into not feeding, playing or generally being social until mum returns. In this hub, I will explain some handy tips that mums can use to deal with a clingy child.

Source
  • Dealing with child clinginess starts when the child is born. As a mother, start socializing your child early, get the child to be used being with other people and occasionally leave the child with other people. You can start doing this for just a moment say 5-10 minutes and gradually extending the time as the child becomes more settled. By doing so, not only will you help the child to be comfortable with other people but it will also help you as a mother about being separated with the child.
  • If the child is clingy at nursery, you can start by gradually leaving the child for a period of 30min to an hour and coming back when you say. It will also help if you let the nursery helpers to know that the child is undergoing the clingy phase. Entice and raise the child enthusiasm by talking about a special something in the nursery that you know the child would like. Be a good listener in this one, listen to your child when he or she is back home to know if something is upsetting him or her in nursery.

Tips on how to deal with a clingy child
Tips on how to deal with a clingy child | Source
Source
  • If the child turns out be clingy only when you go out, it may help to get a kind but firm babysitter or even someone you know who is close to the child. A clingy child will always watch and monitor mum's movements so the babysitter should be able to distract the child when you are moving out.
  • Mums should not express nervousness when leaving their children as they may pick those behaviors. Help the child to be courageous and comfortable by talking about how nice the stay with the babysitter will be or how much the child will enjoy playing, drawing or painting with the babysitter.
  • If the child becomes increasingly clingy, it may help to find out why is that, perhaps all is not well at nursery or even at home with the babysitter for example bullying. If you are working, come back early unexpectedly at the nursery or home and observe whether the child is playing or socializing happily. It he or she is not happy it may give you a hint that all is not well.

Mask the child distress when you are leaving to give him or her confidence.
Mask the child distress when you are leaving to give him or her confidence. | Source
  • Mask the child distress when you are leaving to give him or her confidence of being left with the babysitter. You can do this by hugging or smiling to the child when you are leaving.
  • If the child look unhappy or start crying when you leave, do not return to sooth the child. Instead, return a reassuring look to the child but calmly and confidently leave.
  • Encourage and reassure the child that all will be well once you leave. Be careful however, reassurance can sometimes become a problem especially if the child becomes too used to it such that he or she can not be confident without constant need for reassurance.

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    • dwachira profile imageAUTHOR

      Danson Wachira 

      8 years ago from Nairobi, Kenya

      Hi Rajan,

      Clingy phase is one of the worrying stages of a child development to mothers, the good bit is that it can be tolerated. Thanks for the visit and comment.

    • rajan jolly profile image

      Rajan Singh Jolly 

      8 years ago from From Mumbai, presently in Jalandhar, INDIA.

      Very useful tips, Danson. Voting up, useful. Sharing.

    • dwachira profile imageAUTHOR

      Danson Wachira 

      9 years ago from Nairobi, Kenya

      Thanks Keeley Shea for stopping by and commenting. You are already doing well reassuring him that you would always be there for him. This phase will definitely come to an end but in the meantime, give him courage and he should be okey.

    • Keeley Shea profile image

      Keeley Shea 

      9 years ago from Norwich, CT

      My son has become really clingy lately. He is 5 years old and wants to know where I am every second of the day when I am home from work. He has actually been worried that I have left him and is definitely going through a phase. I just keep reassuring him that I would never leave him alone and hope that this phase will pass. In a way it is nice to be so wanted but he was doing so well with the start of his independence until a month ago.

    • dwachira profile imageAUTHOR

      Danson Wachira 

      9 years ago from Nairobi, Kenya

      Thanks Janine for reading and commenting, i hope the tips in here will help you and your daughter. Am glad you found this one to be useful.

    • Janine Huldie profile image

      Janine Huldie 

      9 years ago from New York, New York

      Thank you for the advice. My younger daughter can so etimes be clingy so I found this one to be very I there sting and will have to try some of the techniques you mentioned. Have shared and voted up too.

    • dwachira profile imageAUTHOR

      Danson Wachira 

      9 years ago from Nairobi, Kenya

      Thanks tammyswallow, kids can funny but are also angles. The more you restrict them the more they want to err. Am glad you found this one to be useful.

    • tammyswallow profile image

      Tammy 

      9 years ago from North Carolina

      Great hub dwachira. My child used to be clingy when she was tiny but now that I am a stay at home mom she asks to go to school everyday. Luckily with age she is becoming more independant. This is a really great, well written and organized hub. :)

    • dwachira profile imageAUTHOR

      Danson Wachira 

      9 years ago from Nairobi, Kenya

      Thanks Sunshine625, i really appreciate your visit.

    • Sunshine625 profile image

      Linda Bilyeu 

      9 years ago from Orlando, FL

      Excellent tips dwachira! :)

    • dwachira profile imageAUTHOR

      Danson Wachira 

      9 years ago from Nairobi, Kenya

      @bethperry, you are very welcome. I really appreciate your visit.

    • dwachira profile imageAUTHOR

      Danson Wachira 

      9 years ago from Nairobi, Kenya

      Thanks teaches12345 for stopping by, reading and commenting, I'm glad you found this article useful.

    • bethperry profile image

      Beth Perry 

      9 years ago from Tennesee

      Great advice dwachira! And I love the photos.

    • teaches12345 profile image

      Dianna Mendez 

      9 years ago

      Very good suggestions for those distressing times when mom and child have to separate for awhile. It is true, moms some times have a harder time saying good-bye. It's important that they not express their feelings as it will only cause the child anxiety.

    • dwachira profile imageAUTHOR

      Danson Wachira 

      9 years ago from Nairobi, Kenya

      You are welcome Mercy, glad you enjoyed reading.

    • profile image

      Mercy ngare 

      9 years ago

      That so educative.keep it up and God bless u.

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