- Family and Parenting
My Grandmother's Saying
Suzziecue asked about What are some of your favourite quotes from your grandparents or parents? Here is my answer.
My grandmother was the person who I listen the most. Not because she is my grandmother, but because her wisdom was beautiful. Well, of course, knowing it was my grandmother who’d say those words made me proud.
My grandmother was not an educated woman. She was the wife of low level government employee who’d beared 8 children by her own. My mother said she was grumpy but I never saw that side of her. Maybe she hid it well or my memories as child not as clear as glass.
It was always at time inside crisis when she’d came and told us her wisdom. Here bellow, several of her wisdoms which I cherised a lot.
"In every encounter, there’s always a lesson."
Sometimes when facing difficulties, we tend to become so angry, feeling regret and said,
“I wish this not happened.”,
“I wish I never trust this person.”,
“I wish I never decided that way.”
And so on.
Well, my grandmother didn’t believe in regretting. I guess she had done too many regrets in the past to the point she became fully understood that knowing we did something wrong should not become punishment for entire lifetime but have to be absorbed as lesson. By doing this we will grow from those painful experiences and bloom as beautiful people.
"There is no such thing as coincidence."
My grandmother never believe in coincident. She said there is scenario in life which written everytime we make decision.
My interpretation of her wisdom is this; God had set the motion of each decision available and everytime we pick one, we turning on the motion. And life, like a riffle of wave in the water, everytime we do something based on our decision, a drop of tears (action) falling in the water and created wave. Because there are so many people inside the same water then there are so many tears falling in the water at many spots and created waves everywhere which collided into each other. This is how then people mistake can be turn into our misery from unfortunate event. And it is not because it was coincident but sadly happened because we decided it will be happened that way by act the way we acted. So it is better to always be careful with everything we do. Only Allah knew.
"See with your heart, never only do it with your eyes."
My grandmother said sometimes what we see with our eyes is not what it really is. We need to really look beyond the appearance and feel the essence behind it.
How to do that? Hmmm... honestly I’m not really sure how, but in my case I tried to hold myself from making a jugdement over something by the first encounter and make sure my head is always open minded for every possibilities which caused this thing that I just encountered; from happening, appeared or existed; whatever it is. Of course patience playing big part on this, so is the clear of mind.
"Patience, dear. It is the greatest weapon of all."
I think this one is clear. My grandmother believe in patience we will able to used our brain well than when we are under anger or fear’s spell. It will help us to become more logic and able to find the solver of the problem faster than when we stuffed by emotional burden.
"Don’t hurt people’s heart, because it will become your debt which stop you from entering paradise."
In Islam it had be taught that debt is something we should pay even after we died. Not by us of course, but by the family we leave behind because if we died with debt while the person to whom we own it doesn’t happy about us not paying it, later, when it is about the time to entering paradise, the Angel will stop us and tell us to clear debt problem before we can enter paradise.
In my grandmother's idea about debt, it was not only about money. She said when we caused pain inside other’s heart intentionally or happened by mistake, even without knowing it, it is also debt. And we need to clear this problem right the way before it turn into thing which will also stop us from entering paradise.
Ask for forgiveness even if you don’t feel like you did something wrong. There is nothing wrong by asking forgiveness. It will show how big our heart is and how much we looking for peace and love rather than fight and quarrel. Negativity will never help in any cases.
How true this teaching was, I am not really sure but because I don’t see any harm in being nice, I decided to listen to her.
"Never mix wrong with right to justified your mistake. Wrong is wrong, no matter how good the fabrication is."
She was so clear on this. She said no matter how good your intention was, when you mix good with wrong the gap into your heart will open wide for Shaytan to enter and you become vulnerable also easy to be sway away from your original path. It was written inside Al Qur’an too so I believe it is true.
"Don’t ask Allah for helping you to punish the one whose caused you pain. Better ask Allah to free you from the pain itself."
Did you ever felt so much pain to the point couldn’t able to even stand up but cried in so much misery? Some people have this moment when they felt the need of revenge. They prayed to Allah and said,
“They did me wrong. Please Allah, avenge it for me!”
How dare they tell Allah what to do? How stupidly brave they urge Allah to do jugdement on other based on their misery? It is wrong!
My grandmother taught me to never keep my anger on others. If they did me wrong, ask Allah to erase the pain they caused me and ask Him to give me patience and wisdom.
"Soon you will find the pain had gone from heart and patience possessing your mind." she said.
Reaching this step then I will forgive and forget easily and in long run it will be great for mental health.
Then the last teaching she taught me was about Taubah (asking forgiveness for Allah) prayer.
"Things you should ask Allah inside your prayer:
To help you fighting and turning off your bad side
To widening your heart
To give you patience
To open your heart and mind to His knowledge and wisdom
To never let your love to others stand higher than your love to Allah."
My grandmother was amazing woman, wasn't her? ^_^
Thank you for reading this and I hope you enjoy it.