ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

My Life of Survival

Updated on January 2, 2012

Surviving The Unsurvivable

My life has been so hard, oh so hard. I have struggled to live my life since I was concieved in my mothers womb. I have shed so many tears in my life, more than one should be allowed; but i'm a surviver. This is my life; and it's not for the faint of heart. I can't give any photo's because I don't have any now but in the end of this my lifes story maybe their will be one. Does any one understand how to survive life? Here is your first lesson, one of many.

My life began in my alcoholic mothers womb. When she found out she was pregnant she didn't want me. She tried on many occasions to abort me. She and my father were both very abusive to each other. They were always drunk and high. He used to rape my mother all the time. Her escape was cheating . From an early age I endured every thing from beating to rape.

My parents used to starve me to try and kill me. My father taught me what sexual pain was all about. I used to pray everyday for my pain to end. All I wanted was some one to save me; little did I know I found it in myself. I had to because I wanted to live and be loved bad enough that I had to find it some where, some way;but how? When I was an infant I don't remember any thing but from my first memory. My mother and father would set around eating ;and I'd be in tears from hunger begging for some thing to eat and they'd laugh at me and say no;so it was then I learned how to steal food out of the cabinets to eat. The first time I got caught I received a beating with a belt.I was screaming with pain but the more I screamed ,the harder he got .When he was done I had welts on me that bled. As time went on I learned to steal food so that it was not noticable and when the best time to steal was. My parents always fought about every thing. Sometimes I felt like they had nothing better to do. As I got older the abuse got worse and I wonder how I survived. But I do know this; it made my nunb to pain. Any kind of pain does'nt hurt me like it does others. My mother always told me that I was a little slut and stupid and never amount to any thing. My father told me I was his little sex toy; and that's all I'd ever be good for. I've heard just about every cut down you can think of. I learned from my so-called loving parents all about negitive self esteem. Mine was so low that I couldn't see the point in living my whole life. As I continue this hub i'll get deeper in detail and have more length. Be patient and ready with a tissue in hand. You will need it.In conclusion, this is why love in a persons life is key to survival;and it starts deep within yourself.





Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • profile image

      iamaudraleigh 5 years ago

      I am so sorry :(

    • profile image
      Author

      mours sshields 5 years ago from Elwood, Indiana

      Thank-you!

      S.Shields

    • schoolgirlforreal profile image

      schoolgirlforreal 5 years ago from USA

      Very inspiring story of survival.

    • profile image
      Author

      mours sshields 4 years ago from Elwood, Indiana

      Thank-you!

      Shelly Shields

    • Perspycacious profile image

      Demas W Jasper 4 years ago from Today's America and The World Beyond

      Who finally took you in and taught you the self-worth you now have?

    • profile image

      Shelly Shields 4 years ago

      Some good friends, who have treated me like family!

    • CrisSp profile image

      CrisSp 4 years ago from Sky Is The Limit Adventure

      Sorry to read about your early life experience. That's very sad but as you said, you're a survival and I wish you good luck.

      Take care.

    • profile image

      Shelly Shields 4 years ago

      CrisSp: Thank-you!

    • maggs224 profile image

      maggs224 4 years ago from Sunny Spain

      You are right Shelly, love changes everything, I had a rough start though nowhere near as rough as yours, though my mother may well have shared some of your experiences.

      My mother was only twelve and a half when she had me and her father and mine was the same man. He sounds like your father in many ways.

      I am glad that you have turned this negative beginning around and I am sure that as we read how you did this you will help and inspire others to do the same.

      I am voting this hub up

    • profile image

      Shelly Shields 4 years ago

      Yes, love does change everything. Thank-you for your kind remarks!

      I hope I can help others.

    Click to Rate This Article