- Family and Parenting
My "Perfect Father" Part 2
Once the question was asked, Will starting asking himself the same question. What did he want from this relationship? Did he want to date only? Did he want someone to love him and give him children? Was he looking for a "shack-up honey". Will decided that he wanted to marry me-the woman of his dreams that he had imagined some 27 years earlier.
Will took the bait and decided that he definitely wanted to spend the rest of his life with me.
But how to approach this subject with a man that was living some thousand miles away. This was HER father! A man that he had both feared and revered. A man that was short on words but you knew what he was thinking.because he told you flat out-no chance of a misunderstanding. A man that had been drafted into the US Army and was stationed in Alaska during the Korean War. A man that had married his high school sweetheart and their marriage was going on for 52 years without a divorce. A man that refused to go to church the early part of his marriage to my mother. A man who gave up smoking, cold turkey for my 16th birthday-that was his gift. A man that would wear silly hats and do silly things for his grandchildren. A man that,if no one was looking, would pat my mom and wink at her. A man that believed in paying your bills on time and never used credit. A man that would get dressed to go to the bathroom rather than having his young daughters possibly seeing...whatever. A man that would write and later be published.A man who when I was 18 years old gave me a spanking because I back talked him. A man that gave his heart and soul to Jesus and never looked back. A man that you could depend on his just for his word, because having a good name was very important to him-not to dirty that name of Abbott.
So Will asked my father for my hand in marriage. But Will replied, "But she said that she would never, never,never, ever get married. My father replied, "That is what she says now. Don't give up."
And Will didn't. When we went to their house for Christmas, I had on my left hand a beautiful radiant cut 1 caret diamond and on my right hand I had a 1 caret round diamond surrounded by 4 Mozambican garnets-a ring Will had designed himself.
My father had been complaining of stomach pain for a while and being a man, just thought it was nothing serious. My mom talked him into going to the doctor for a check up and that was when the discovered stomach cancer. They said he might last for awhile but they could give no date.
When my mother told me that, I decided we HAD to go and see him. We were getting married in May and I wanted him to walk me down the aisle.
So we celebrated our Christmas together as a whole family. My sister and her large family were there so there were children around. It was unspoken but we knew that this was probably the last time we would all be together.
We all went back to our lives but my mother called on that morning and told me that Daddy was gone.
How could this be? I wasn't ready for God to call him home. I was planning a wedding and he was it in.
After the news sank in, Will and I held each other and cried. The sky didn't fall, there were no earthquakes, no floods. Just another day.
But there is no way to replace my father.
So if you are reading this, and your father is still alive, go to him and thank him for being your dad. A father gives so much to his family and nobody counts the influence. Everybody focuses on the mother and men are forgotten about. Fathers are what a girl will pattern for her future husband. Dads can do funny and inventive ways to cheer you when your heart is broken by a boy. Fathers remember what boys want and that is why they are strict
So go and tell your daddy, Thank you and mean it!