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Parents, You Do Not Have Anything to Prove to Anyone, Just Be a Good Parent

Updated on March 12, 2021
abwilliams profile image

Politics aside, there is much more to me. I am passionate about many things and those are the things which sustain me.

Eureka!

You know those little aha moments you often see in animation?

A light bulb comes into view or a light bulb is already present, but then an epiphany - and the otherwise dull bulb, lightens and brightens, as if becoming enlightened.

A question mark turns into an answer, a confused look turns into Eureka!

Now that I have, hopefully, created a picture in your mind...

I was recently taking note of some 'Parenting' going on around me; some were trying so very hard (over-complicating everything), others were not trying at all (oblivious to the fact that they even had children) and then there were those that seemed to be performing at Parenting, 'playing to the camera', almost as if following (or trying to follow) a script/instructions.

So basically; the over-complicating it, the slackers and the performers...were all hanging out at the Mall!

Of course there were those not over-complicating, not slacking and not performing, I guess they just kind of blended in.

I tuned them out, during my ever so brief stint in...let us call it, Mall Parenting Analytics.

~~~~~

I, the observer, far from being the perfect Parent, had one of those 'aha moments'.

Parenting isn't complicated and shouldn't be made to be

Parenting (make that, good parenting) does not allow for us to be the spectator, we must be fully engaged in the game, our kids are depending on it.

Parents, you do not have anything to prove to anyone, just be a good parent!

Show love

Be consistent

Remember that you are their first line of defense

As parents, we strive to be the best that we can be, but then...the advice, the books, the specialists; turn our heads and bend our ears, knocking us off course.

Suddenly, our discipline methods and parenting principles/skills are going off in so many directions, we lose sight of our children, of us and of our role, in our children's lives.

This can definitely be compared to the day to day of life; so many are trying to perform to a certain level, script in hand, following the instructions, with common sense often, nowhere to be found.

While many are completely tuning out, others are so tuned in that all the interference is scrambling their brains, to the point where they cannot properly function. They have great intentions, they just go about it all wrong and over-complicate matters, over-complicating their lives, as a result.

As for those completely tuned out, I don't know where they go from here and I do worry about their children. As their children are left to their own devices, therein lies a huge problem, which cannot be ignored!

Our children do not want a lot from of us,(at least not at the start) they just need to know that they are loved and want to feel accepted, protected and cared for.

It is not a lot to ask, when we ask/pray to be a good Parent....not the perfect parent, not a consistently excellent parent, not the best parent ever...just a good parent, doing the best we can.

  • Good will suffice
  • Good keeps us grounded
  • Good keeps us focused
  • With 'good' there is always room for improvement, but in the meantime, we are kept on a realistic path, with realistic goals


The Foundation

When I was a kid, I would often focus on my Parents strict side, not their loving and engaged side, which was always present, it was just blurry.

As I grew and matured, I'd remember little things, such as when they stayed up, checking on me throughout the night, because I had a high fever. They didn't sleep!

I thought about beach trips and camping trips, made more special and open to recall...because my Parents weren't just there, they were involved; in activity, in learning, in creating memories for us to carry forward.....

I remember when my-much-stricter-than-my-Dad Mom, prevented more-lenient Dad, from killing me or at the very least...grounding me for life, one particular night. My friend and I discovered and became very curious about [her Dad's] homemade moonshine and it was downhill from there (no, I'll not elaborate any further at this time!)

My Parents laid the foundation; they disciplined, they took us to Church, they allowed us to play sports, they cared about our grades and always took the time to look at our report cards.

They were not perfect Parents, but they were good parents and we (my brothers and I) reaped the benefits and were better equipped, as we went forward in life.

They were our first line of defense. They prepared us.

They prepared me, as they were prepared, so that I too, could someday be...a good Parent!

Change Begins when Good Parenting Begins

Our children need for us to be there for them.

There is so much competing for their time and attention, more than ever before and as Parents, we need to place filters and parameters and structure.

We need to shut off all distractions and invest in them, they need for us to do that!

We prepare them to the best of our ability, with our imperfections and all.

We lay the foundation; providing guidance, discipline and mostly love, so that they become better equipped to not only spread their wings and fly...

they will be better prepared to carry those same principles, going forth!


This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.

© 2018 A B Williams

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    • abwilliams profile imageAUTHOR

      A B Williams 

      21 months ago from Central Florida

      I figure if someone takes time out of their day to read and comment on one of my articles, the very least I can do is respond. So yes I do feel bad when I've overlooked doing that.

      Have a great weekend. Yay Friday!!

    • shanmarie profile image

      Shannon Henry 

      21 months ago from Texas

      You know, I still haven't been able to write about it. And I can be pretty outspoken when it comes to sharing what I really think in the form of writing. But the truth is, the entire situation still angers me if I think about it too in-depth.

      Don't feel bad for not commenting. It happens a lot around HP. Unless I would've had reason to believe you were mat at me, I wouldn't have assumed anything by you not commenting. HP has glitches and people get busy. Any number of things can happen.

    • abwilliams profile imageAUTHOR

      A B Williams 

      21 months ago from Central Florida

      It is a sad situation, all the way around. :(

      If I fail to respond to a comment, it involves a brain fart or technical difficulties....;)

    • shanmarie profile image

      Shannon Henry 

      21 months ago from Texas

      Gosh, I wasn't even worried about it. LOL. In fact, the only reason I'm here now is because the notification in my email told me someone commented and I went to see what hub it was because I recognized it as an older one. I had to re-read what I wrote to figure out what "situation" you are referring to. And you know, it's all relative I suppose. In some aspects, I mean. She's 3 years old now. Right now, she's too young to know she's missing out on anything so major in life like all of her family. And she's too young to realize that she was robbed of that when the people in her life who were supposed to protect her mad terrible decisions. That may be a blessing in itself.

    • abwilliams profile imageAUTHOR

      A B Williams 

      21 months ago from Central Florida

      Matthew 6:34 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

      Hi Shannon, I was tweaking some of my articles and re-read your last comment. I thought that I had commented on this way back when. I did have good intentions of responding :) I hope this situation has greatly improved.

    • shanmarie profile image

      Shannon Henry 

      3 years ago from Texas

      No need for apologies. Not your fault and not looking for sympathy. My current frustration is with the broken system itself. It goes beyond just our family. Usually when things like this grab my mind and stirs me to feel something so strongly I write. But I can't right now. (At least my sense of humor is still present since I just chuckled at my unintentional pun. )

      Let go and let God. Yes. Heard that my entire life and used to be really good at it. Haven't been so much the past year or few years. Overwhelming turns into anxiety, I think, though I only very recently recognized it as such. And right now it's not anxiety in the same way....like not a stressful kind...or maybe what I mean is that it's not an overall straight across the board kind of thing. Everything else is decent enough to have normal stress levels if any at all. It's not even really stress for this at this point. It's just a prolonged sadness. Always the hope but the expectation of heartbreak as well. Really am trying to give it all to God. I do mean all. I want to be at peace over the outcome no matter what happens.

      In the meantime, it's just wait and see and I feel an urge to do something constructive. Yet don't want to do any articles until after the fact. Or maybe by then I won't want to publish. It is an issue I feel should be investigated further and that others should be aware of, but I really don't like purposely being a direct part of controversy either.

      But even this article of yours is a testament to the various ways people parent. Aside from obvious abuse and neglect, there are choices some parents make that would be considered neglect by others and yet are not necessarily unsafe or a guarantee of harm. For instance, an appropriate age for kids to stay home alone or to babysit siblings. Or safe age to allow a child to play on a playground without direct supervision, such a a nearby neighborhood park. Age to allow a kid to walk to school....etc. So many various opinions. Makes me think about various parenting styles from the perspective of others. And makes me think about my own in comparison to my husband and others. I can be more laid back in some ways than him and in other ways the strict one and the disciplinarian. And yet he is also the one who usually worries more. Even when my youngest was born he used to tell me to watch the baby's head when I picked him up, as if I didn't know. LOL.

      By the way, I just remembered a verse I always liked that actually used to help me let go more easily. Matthew 6:34. Thanks.

    • abwilliams profile imageAUTHOR

      A B Williams 

      3 years ago from Central Florida

      I am so sorry that you are going through this.

      I have a magnet on my fridge with a very simple, yet powerful message: Let Go and Let God

      It really does help to remind me, when I am feeling overwhelmed or anxious.

    • shanmarie profile image

      Shannon Henry 

      3 years ago from Texas

      I don't know about updates, but I might do a hub when this is all said and done. There's certainly no shortage of research about how the CPS system is corrupt. I mean, I get that some children desperately need immediate intervention (this baby certainly did but then it all kept going awry). I've seen enough of it. Seen it with people I know.... A woman whose grandson told me his mama slammed him into a wall so hard he had a knot on his head. This after his grandma tried to get them not to let the kids back with their mother, her own daughter. Yet she had to get help from her church to pay for a lawyer because CPS had a list of excuses why she was unfit. Each time she tried to fix one issue, they found another.

      And even when I've seen it work properly to try to fix a family, they take their sweet time doing it. And it really depends on the judge and the caseworkers. Some are great and some are rather corrupt or jaded. I'm not sure which is worse. At least those who are corrupt recognize that they are. People who are jaded just come to expect the worst in everyone because they've seen too much and the system is just that broken.

      I didn't even know that states or the department within the states get money from the federal government for kids that they have in the system and that they adopt out. So for anyone who doesn't know their rights...

      And in this case, I found out it is a CPS judge officiating over the case. Imagine who they side with. No big surprise there. Why isn't there a separate court. Someone u biased and impartial. Father can't get a jury trial because they said he took too long. He took so long because they refused him any rights until a DNA test was done. They took months on end to do that and then more months to assign him an attorney. Moved his daughter further south and he's already out of state. So he couldn't easily get visitation, which was something else they used against him.

      Found out today rights aren't actually terminated yet because they drug it out some more. Maybe the father's attorney will have some luck.

      This baby deserves immediate family. Yeah, she may be doing well and that's what the baby's attorney argues to keep her there , but what about immediate family? My understanding of kin and fictive kinship care is that these people must be close to the family or child. No one knows these people who claimed to be a great uncle and now claim to be distant cousins or something. I'd love to know what they really want. Money? It's cheaper to adopt by being a foster parent . Maybe that's their goal and an easy way to get a kid is to claim kinship. They already have a church members kids on their ranch. Maybe they need workers. I had a friend tell me her niece is doing that so that they can adopt a baby.

      Do I sound cynical? Too snarky? Maybe. But it's not right. It makes me sick to see the news clips online and read the stories of families unnecessarily torn apart and never put back together. In all states. I firmly believe that in most cases a child should absolutely know their parents or their other immediate family members when that's not possible, assuming the other family wants to be in the child's life.

      To think, when I was in college I had an interest in teaching and psychology. I actually thought about social work as a possible option. Now I wonder how in depth most workers are really trained. The entry level workers don't even need a degree. I think the mental health police officers may be better trained.

      How do they fix this? Is anyone with the power to fix it even trying? It makes news every now and then and then disappears again for awhile. There's got to be a better way to run foster kids and to decide whose kids need true protection in the first place. Kids are traumatized even as babies. I've seen that firsthand, too, from daycare work in my college days.

      So anyway, I came back here because you'd said something about an update and I was thinking about your profile or bio statement to not keep quiet. This is one of those issues I find harder and harder to stay silent about, especially after researching. I feel bad for those 8n it to make a real difference. How much impact do they really have for the better when their superiors ultimately call the shots? And who knows what really motivates their calls. It's not as much about family or the kids as we are led to believe.

      And bow we wait and try not to hope too hard for a miracle or to be too heartbroken when she loses her family and we lose her for good.

    • abwilliams profile imageAUTHOR

      A B Williams 

      3 years ago from Central Florida

      Thank you! Have a great weekend!

    • shanmarie profile image

      Shannon Henry 

      3 years ago from Texas

      Thanks, I'll go check that out now. I know you're not supposed to put links in the comments so you can delete this comment. Here's the link to the news clip I saw about the inspiration for the book. https://view.yahoo.com/show/nbc-today-show/clip/61...

    • abwilliams profile imageAUTHOR

      A B Williams 

      3 years ago from Central Florida

      There is a video I shared at the end of the article, 'God-You are not Welcome Here....check it out! After the video ends there is an interview with the singer Mandy Harvey, check that out too. Your spirits will be lifted!

      It seems sometimes we are going through stuff all alone, but so many others are going through it too and the Good News...none of us are ever alone!

      Now I too will have to check out the book you mentioned! :)

    • shanmarie profile image

      Shannon Henry 

      3 years ago from Texas

      I didn't exactly keep it together. Hard to do when going through the ringer. But I am trying like hell to just give it to God and to hold on to some peace with whatever the final outcome is. When I researched in depth I found that the state or the department gets money from the federal government for kids that they have in the system and that they adopt. If they leave her with the so-called relatives rather than immediate family I believe they receive the adoption credit. It's all been rigged against us from the start, it feels like, even if we'd had money or been in a bigger, better house from the start. The court didn't even grant the father's lawyer a jury trial because they said it wasn't requested soon enough. They wouldn't appointment him a lawyer, though, until they finally decided to do the DNA testing and that was only done because they tried to terminate before Christmas, but the mother's lawyer requested an extension for her and then passed away so his wife, who was his business partner, had to take over the case. On one hand, I am beyond ready for it to all be over. On the other, I feel so strongly about her being able to know her immediate family. So many people have been adopted in my life; including my brother, my grandma, my sister in laws, many more. They all had one thing in common- a need to know their family. It never goes away for those who want the answers they deserve.

      But anyway, I'm off topic. Just feeling much better lately about who I am as a parent, mistakes and all. Your article here was a timely read and then I saw this segment on the news about the same time about a book called "Parentally Incorrect" that sounds hilarious. I think I'll read it. It's about the embarrassing things kids do and mothers cooing with how hard, yet ultimately worthwhile the task of raising kids is. They said to read it while crying in a closet. Haha.

    • abwilliams profile imageAUTHOR

      A B Williams 

      3 years ago from Central Florida

      Wow shanmarie, you really have been going 'through it' and through it all, you have kept it together!

      You and your husband, it seems to me, go above and beyond....good parenting!

      ALL of the children in your lives are blessed to have you both and I am praying for everything to work out for ya'll.

      Please keep me posted! ❤

    • shanmarie profile image

      Shannon Henry 

      3 years ago from Texas

      A B, what a timely article this is for me to read. I've been thinking a lot about this lately and I think maybe it's finally sinking in that I need to give myself more credit as a parent. There have been so many times I felt like I belonged on a list of the worst mothers in the world. Especially this past year and a half.

      My husband's granddaughter was taken from the hospital by CPS at just a day old. They are just this week terminating the rights of the parents. I can't begin to tell you what an emotional rollercoaster this has been. Our home, when they finally got around to doing a home study was deemed unfit, mostly due to the home itself, though they can twist any little thing into a negative to use against anyone they choose. Long story short, we tried to comply and fix the home rather than move. In this town, rentals are grabbed practically from the moment a sign goes up or there is competition for the lease. All, and I do mean all, of the three bedroom apartments are full and have two year wait lists, including any government housing. And if we found a two bedroom multiple sources say it won't pass for placing a CPS child in our care even if she's family.

      So anyway, we tried and it wasn't working out. We were forced to move. But before we did, the caseworker or someone with her reported us to our county so that they opened up a case regarding things they knew we were fixing. They, of course, could not find evidence to take our children from us. But they say they can still use that case against us now.

      Now, we've moved and been out of that home since a couple months before Christmas. Only problem is all that was available is a two bedroom apartment. Nonetheless, they are doing the second home study that they promised us. However, I have been told by the caseworker that they don't normally move a child who has already been placed. So we will see what happens. This may be another heartbreak and waste of everyone's time who has given references and conducting the home study. My husband personally made this building ready for the city to certify it for occupancy since he works for the landlord. I know it should pass structurally and for safety.

      And yet they have this baby with some supposed great uncle who came forward and has never met the baby's mother or anyone else directly related to her. I still don't understand how they can call it kinship care when they aren't close friends or family of the baby's parents or relatives. My husband knew his daughter's grandpa and his wife. I know the man's wife, his ex mother in law. She doesn't even know these people, except that they found her online and claim to be related. We researched and couldn't find any indication they have the same mother or father. But they don't seem to take our concerns seriously and don't care that the baby's mother wants her with us and definitely not with the people she's with. When I begged them to leave the baby with the foster parents who had her from birth, she got mad at me. Her words to me were, "So it's okay to traumatize her to move her to you, but not anyone else. " So damn hard to keep my emotions in check. Anger, tears, the total range. That wasn't what I said or meant. Just that if she can't be with real, immediate family why was it necessary to rip her away from what she knew and people who loved her? Still breaks my heart to think about. And then these people totally cut off any communication with my husband once they got her. Show no indication of keeping that precious baby in touch with any family members.

      So my point to this story is that my emotions were so overwhelming that my mistakes and doubts seemed magnified, especially in the moments they were occurring. Every temper tantrum... Every time I wondered if I was doing enough to discipline, enough to be involved in spending time. Enough attention. If I lost my own temper momentarily. I don't even yell a lot, but you know what I mean. And there was no one to talk to. I tried with one person and that ended in total disaster. I haven't dared to try again.

      People are so quick to judge. Everyone seems to be quick to criticize people for having kids they can't afford and that was something else I struggled with guilt over. Of course I didn't have children expecting my life to go the way that it did. When my oldest and my middle child were born, my husband and I actually owned our own business and things were looking up. We were buying a home. All seemed well enough. And then the company we had a contract with told us to take on the entire state of Texas or someone else would. We didn't have the capital to expand that big that fat nor did we have enough people working for us. It wasn't feasible. Texas is bigger than people think. And when that unexpectedly fell apart, so did several other unexpected parts of life. And people do what they can to attempt to recover and survive in the meantime.

      I just found myself looking back on a lot of these things lately. I realize my children don't have behavioral issues in school. Other parents don't have problems with my kids when they visit friends. They will mock the things I say when I lecture. Maybe that's not a good thing, but I think that at least it is sinking in somewhere. You know, when they can mock me about "consequences" and things I have said like, "if it's not appropriate at school, it's not appropriate at home. " I say that in an attempt to curb the sibling rivalry some. But the more I finally interact with other parents since moving, the more I see that maybe their behavior is normal and I am not as bad at discipline as I thought and that my methods are similar to other parents for the major consequences. And the more creative methods work for m6 kids and that's what's important. They have a tally chart that is similar to earning stars at school, except that tallies here are a bad thing. They earn them for misbehaving and lose them for doing something responsible like chores. Other typical methods of consequence are used if need be, such as taking things away and denial of a privilege of some sort.

      Something must be working at least a little. They say I love you every morning before getting out of the car when being dropped off at school and every night before bed. Even my 12 year old still wants to be tucked in to say and hear that. All the I hate you when in trouble aren't meant. They know they are loved. And they have such big hearts that they took it upon themselves to gather books from their friends to sell at a fundraiser event for their aunt who has cancer to help pay for her medical bills. Can you imagine? All by themselves. They just asked my permission to do it, but I didn't need to do anything to help, except take them to the event to set up their booth. This was one proud mama that day.

      Those are the kind of moments I am learning to focus on. I don't owe people who judge me any explanations. And I don't have to prove anything to anyone who doesn't know me. And when I feel those overwhelming moments of doubts, I know I am not the only one who experiences those moments as a parent. These kids are going to grow into amazing adults with kind hearts.

      I hope I survive the teen years to witness it. LOL

      Thanks for an article that highlights an important message to parents everywhere.

    • Tim Truzy info4u profile image

      Tim Truzy 

      3 years ago from U.S.A.

      Abwilliams, I know you, from what you have read, and Paula as well, you guys are certainly superb and skillful caring souls.

      Much respect,

      And I feel,

      A brotherly love,

      Tim

    • abwilliams profile imageAUTHOR

      A B Williams 

      3 years ago from Central Florida

      Thank you Tim!

      Kids say the darndest things all on their own... they sure do not need us giving them even more material! :)

    • Tim Truzy info4u profile image

      Tim Truzy 

      3 years ago from U.S.A.

      I just read your comments, AB, and Paula. I laughed tremendously.

      I work with young ones, and sometimes, parents forget to remind them to leave the colorful language away from public settings. (oops!)

      Not saying you guys would do that, of course, but I've had times when I had to tell kids: "Those are not words you say in front of others. If your parents allow that at home, then that's between you guys. But keep it out of this setting. You could get in trouble with grown ups who are not your parents."

      Like you said, AbWilliams, we are human, full of errors. Usually, parents do the best they can. Providing love is the key.

      Thanks for a wonderful article, as always, my friend.

    • abwilliams profile imageAUTHOR

      A B Williams 

      3 years ago from Central Florida

      You know Paula, all of this 'sharing' brings this right back home.

      We are human; we lose our cool in traffic, we sometimes forget about little ears and Lord knows we make mistakes and we make them often! When our children know, without a doubt, that they are loved and will be taken care of and provided for, to the best of our ability...that is what truly matters!

    • abwilliams profile imageAUTHOR

      A B Williams 

      3 years ago from Central Florida

      Awww... kids they are such sponges! Thanks for sharing that.

      When my oldest son was maybe 5, I was driving, he was in the backseat and someone cut me off in traffic. I yelled "what a jerk", my precious little boy with the big brown eyes from the backseat said, "Mom that's not a jerk, that's an a--hole."

      Umhum! (guess Dad used more colorful language than Mom, when wronged on the roadways....LOL)

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Suzie 

      3 years ago from Carson City

      OK, a.b. Here's a free belly laugh for you. Speaking of "rolling eyeballs," when my (now) 26 yr. old grand daughter was just a 2 yr.old tiny tot, I happen to be visiting. I picked her up and set her down on the cabinet to talk to her. Just then, her Daddy (my precious son!) came over and pinched her nose and poked her belly button and said, "Hi, punkin!"! I looked at her and she was frowning at what her Dad had just done. I said, "Oh, you're Daddy loves you!" This tiny little woman-in-training, took a deep breath, rolled her eyes and with her little lisp, said, "He's such an asshole."

      I nearly fell to the floor from laughter, my Daughter-in-law's face turned beet-red and my son asked me, "Mom, do you wonder where my daughter got THAT expression???" I must have laughed all day.

      I wasn't too worried about it. My son & wife are High School sweethearts who have now been blissfully married for 27 years, still in love. (and anyway, all men can be A$$holes now and then.)

      I recently told my grand daughter this story and she said, "I can't believe I said that." LOL. She's the one expecting my 2nd great grand child so she's soon to discover the joys of parenting!!

    • abwilliams profile imageAUTHOR

      A B Williams 

      3 years ago from Central Florida

      Always happy to hear from you Paula and for your endorsement!

      Congrats on great-grandchild #2!

      Only 2 grands for me thus far, but I know there will be more down the road. I am enjoying them so much!

      They aren't rolling their eyes at me yet...so I must have this Grandma thing down...lol!

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Suzie 

      3 years ago from Carson City

      a.b. LOVE this and can surely echo your thoughts word for word. Although my "parenting" days are long gone, I realize my grandparenting days will NEVER end...(expecting "great-grandchild" #2, along with my collection of 12 grandchildren.) As they grow, year by year, I shudder to think how many there can be!! Yikes. But, oh how wonderful & amazing children are. Adore each and every one.

      My parents were exceptional individuals, even though at times, I may have thought otherwise (teens are monsters!!) When I joined the world of parents, I treated it like a job that I loved more than anything else, but also tripped and fell more than anything else. Love, consistency, blood, sweat, tears and gratitude are the main ingredients to being a "good" parent. Some how is all seems to work out well!! Peace, Paula

    • abwilliams profile imageAUTHOR

      A B Williams 

      3 years ago from Central Florida

      Thanks for commenting Tim.

      Yes, I thought I was going to die....twice, in one night!

      Lesson learned and my Parents handled it (me) fabulously (they were better than 'good' that night)

      Of course I'd prefer God be at the center of every single family! Our headlines would read so differently!

      I like the sign off.

    • Tim Truzy info4u profile image

      Tim Truzy 

      3 years ago from U.S.A.

      Excellent article, Abwilliams. It does make a difference if parents have a solid moral foundation to help children understand what is acceptable behavior and how to give love. My dad was a little stricter than mom, but he was the first one to talk to us in times of crisis - bad grades, teenage love gone sour, sickness, and facing death of friends or family. More importantly, my parents gave us time to explore outside and the world around us. In other words, they let us play and encouraged us to read and pray.

      In your case, your parents helped you find the sunshine after the moonshine. (llol)

      I can always count on great articles from you, Ms. Abwilliams. God be with you.

      Sincerely,

      Tim

      (my sign off in comments now.)

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