Parenting 101: You Do Not Have to Prove Anything to Anyone, Just Be a Good and Consistent Parent

You know those little aha moments you often see in animation?

A light bulb comes into view or a light bulb is already present, but then an epiphany - and the otherwise dull bulb, lightens and brightens, as if becoming enlightened.

A question mark turns into an answer, a confused look turns into Eureka!

Now that I have, hopefully, created a picture in your mind...

I was recently taking note of some 'Parenting' going on around me; some were trying so very hard (over-complicating everything), others were not trying at all (oblivious to the fact that they even had children) and then there were those that seemed to be performing at Parenting, 'playing to the camera', almost as if following (or trying to follow) a script/instructions/directions.

So basically; the over-complicating it, the slackers and the performers, were all hanging out at the Mall one day...

Of course there were those not over-complicating, not slacking and not performing, I guess they just kind of blended in.

I tuned them out, during my ever so brief stint in...let us call it, Mall Parenting Analytics.

I, the observer, far from being the perfect parent, now a grandparent, had one of those 'aha moments'.

Parenting isn't complicated and shouldn't be made to be

Parenting (make that, good parenting) does not allow for us to be the spectator, we must be fully engaged in the game, our kids are depending on it.

Parents, you do not have anything to prove to anyone, just be a good parent:

Show love,

with consistency and

always remember that you are their first line of defense

As parents, we strive to be the best that we can be, but then - the advice, the books, the specialists; turn our heads and bend our ears, knocking us off course.

Suddenly, our discipline methods and parenting principles/skills are going off in so many directions, we lose sight of our children, of us and of our role, in our children's lives.

This can definitely be compared to the day to day of life; so many are trying to perform to a certain level, script in hand, following the instructions, with common sense often, nowhere to be found.

While many are completely tuning out, others are so tuned in that all the interference is scrambling their brains, to the point where they cannot properly function. They have great intentions, they just go about it all wrong and over-complicate matters, over-complicating their lives, as a result.

As for those completely tuned out, I don't know where they go from here and I do worry about their children. As their children are left to their own devices, therein lies a huge problem, which cannot be ignored!

Our children do not want a lot from of us,(at least not at the start) they just need to know that they are loved and want to feel accepted, protected and cared for.

It is not a lot to ask, when we ask/pray to be a good Parent....not the perfect parent, not a consistently excellent parent, not the best parent ever...just a good parent, doing the best we can.

Good is sufficient

Good keeps us (and our children) grounded

Good keeps us focused

With "good", there is always room for improvement, but in the meantime, we are kept on a realistic path, with realistic, attainable goals.

When I was a kid, I would often focus on my Parents strict side, not their loving and engaged side, which was always present, it was just blurry.

As I grew and matured, I'd remember little things, such as when they stayed up, checking on me throughout the night, because I had a high fever. They didn't sleep!

I thought about beach trips and camping trips, made more special and open to recall...because my Parents weren't just there, they were involved; in activity, in learning, in creating memories for us to carry forward.....

I remember when my-much-stricter-than-my-Dad, Mom, prevented more-lenient Dad, from killing me or at the very least...grounding me for life, one particular night. My friend and I discovered and became very curious about [her Dad's] homemade moonshine and it was downhill from there.

(no, I'll not elaborate any further on that subject, at this time!)

My Parents laid the foundation; they disciplined, they took us to Church, they allowed us to play sports, Dad would almost always, make it to our games.

They cared about our grades and they always took the time to look at our report cards.

They were not perfect Parents, but they were good parents and we (my brothers and I) reaped the benefits and were better equipped, as we went forward in life.

They were our first line of defense.

They prepared and paved the way.

They prepared me, as they were prepared, so that I too, could someday be...a good Parent!

Our children need for us to be there for them, utilizing our God-given common sense, at all times.

There is so much competing for their time and attention, more than ever before and, as Parents, we need to place filters and parameters and provide safe haven and structure.

We need to shut off all distractions and invest in them, they need for us to do that!

We prepare them to the best of our ability, with our imperfections and all.

We lay the foundation; providing guidance, discipline {with consistency} and mostly we love them unconditionally, so that they become better equipped to not only spread their wings and fly -

they will be better prepared to carry those same principles forward, as they mature and grow and hopefully someday become good, always working at being better at it, Parents!