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My "big" famliy?

Updated on September 15, 2014
Family of 5 and not ashamed!
Family of 5 and not ashamed!


The Reason I say This….


While on vacation with my family I was asked multiple times questions like: why do you have so many kids, and do you really need a stroller that big? (Obviously you do not see the 3 small children standing in front of you?). I was slightly offended by these comments (though I have heard them and many more before). I started to wonder why people think 3 children is too many. Maybe it is because I had 3 children in 4 years (yes, I planned it that way; I am asked if my kids were a mistake often also). Maybe it is because most people think 2 is the right number and often now people say 1 is good for them. Whatever the reason I have started to notice that society as a whole says 2 kids with 2 parents. When ordering tickets for a trip the family size that is included is 2 adults and 2 children. Want to rent a hotel room, have 3 kids be ready to be told you need to rent 2 rooms. Want to camp at the camp ground you better have the extra money to pay for your “extra” child. Now why is it that as a family of 5 we are getting looked at a little differently?


Children are a blessing….


Children are blessings from our Heavenly Father and should be treated as such. A large family is a blessing from the Creator, a true gift from above. So why are we being made to feel like we have 1 too many blessings? I think maybe some people do not understand or are unaware of this fact. Then I remembered: Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one's youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their enemies in the gate. Psalm 127:3-5 NIV. They are from the Lord my precious gifts that I am so lucky to have. Then that annoyed feeling started to pass away from me. As I let that go I started to see why people would feel that way. My kids are loud, surely they are not the best behaved children in the world, and they talk constantly (well the older 2 do the baby he just yells but that is his talk!). I could now understand why people thought/think I am crazy, but I have to say I find joy in my children were others may find fault. I find peace in the moments they hug me and love in the kisses I receive from making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I see what others see but I know that they are the most precious gift.


Being a Mother Brings Understanding of Others….


I feel as though seeing my children through the eyes of others is a great blessing also and being a mother has prepared me to be able to do so. With children you have to have empathy for their feelings and understanding about why they are acting or reacting the way they are. By doing this you are able to take a step back with other adults and see why they may feel the way they do more easily than ever before because you are doing it constantly with your children. Having empathy for a situation can help you to feel more at peace with another’s feelings and give them a sense of comfort when they are understood just as it does with a child. I know it sounds like such a simple thing but when someone offends you it is hard to see a situation ANY situation from their perspective at that point (even if it is just about your stroller).


Later….


After I had finally forgotten about the rude comments from earlier I had a woman with 2 older children approach me and tell me that I deserved a gold star for not only having 3 young children but for taking them on vacation and doing it so effortlessly. Effortlessly, I thought, wow she must not been paying attention on that bus ride. Then I thought why not get a gold star for being a mommy! I do feel like I have accomplished so much just by taking the kids on vacation! Boarding a bus even with a 4 year old, a 2 year old, and a 5 month old baby IS an accomplishment. Every single time I take them all to the store myself I feel like I have won a war and conquered a nation! I think more mommies deserve a stranger to say WOW and in a good way. I will be doing this more often because mommy needs love 2.


Family size of 5 and we think it is just right for us!
Family size of 5 and we think it is just right for us!

My Recommendation for a "Big' Family

If you do have a family that is larger than the average 4 person make up I suggest when going on vacation that you do whatever you can to try to save money. Call ahead to your hotel and discuss with then the number of children that you have and see if they will be charging extra fees due to your family size. MAKE SURE you are checking the Internet for savings in the area you will be visiting. Citypasses in the large city give you a great option for saving money and still being able to see the sights of the area ( www.citypass.com ). They were wonderful for our family two years in a row! Also check around the places you may be visiting because printing tickets online usually saves you time and money (what person with children doesn't need more of those two things?!?).

How many kiddos do you have?

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    • breathe2travel profile image

      breathe2travel 4 years ago from Gulf Coast, USA

      As a mother of five, I know too well the raised brows and onslaught of questions/comments.

      Our society has morphed into a very "me-oriented" culture which seeks "easy" rather than what is best. I.E. It's easire to buy on credit than to save. It's easier to abort this baby than to raise/adopt him/her. It's easier just to vote for who will give me more money than to research voting records and vote for who will give our country the best future. It's easier to run through drive-thrus every night rather than meal plan...etc.

      I understand your sentiment about feeling victorious going shopping with kids. To me, shopping with three is easy because it's less than my normal. I called a friend once to let her know I would be about 30 minutes late bc I wanted to avail the opportunity to browse an antique shop while I only had three of my brood with me. She, who just had her third child a couple weeks earlier laughed, "I guess it's all perspective." I'm not writing this to belittle having three children by any means -- I know it's a task, especially when yours are at such a young and needy age. My oldest just turned 13, my youngest is 4 - and a bit more independent now. ;)

      I love my kids, and am raising them to be responsible, diligent, honest and loving. I noticed with each addition, there was less room for complacency in the discipline department (and I'm not just referencing administering punishment) - there is not room for letting certain behaviors slide that could slide when I only had one or two. I believe having a large family benefits the siblings and the parents. It's not easy, but it is rewarding.

      People say to me, "You've got your hands full." My reply, "Yes, but my heart overflows."

      Voted up & useful. Mommy's do need encouragement!

    • breathe2travel profile image

      breathe2travel 4 years ago from Gulf Coast, USA

      BTW, welcome to HubPages! Check out my hub on Five Tips to Increase Revenue (paraphrase) -- stuff I wish I would have known when I first opened my HP account!

      I look forward to reading more of your work -- and how you balance the sweet babies and writing.

    • AtHomeHeather profile image
      Author

      Heather 4 years ago from PA

      Thank you so much for the comment. Yes I can see how it would be so much easier for you with 3! I also agree with you that discipline can not be something that can be ignored in a house with multiple children (though I would feel the same way with a single child). I have found myself to be more strict with time-outs as my brood grows because they truly feed off of one another (in good and bad behavior). I will be checking you out shortly!

    • profile image

      oceansider 4 years ago

      I love your article, and yes our children ARE a blessing from the Lord!

      This hub was well done....thank you,

      Helen

    • AtHomeHeather profile image
      Author

      Heather 4 years ago from PA

      Thank you very much Oceansider!

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