- Family and Parenting
How Can I Stop My Daughter from Getting a Tattoo?
Do you Support Your Child Getting a Tattoo
If my 18 year old son or daughter wanted a tattoo, I would
Kids, Tattoos and Piercings
My daughters want to get tattoos and piercings and I don't know what I should tell them. Any advice?
Your daughter needs to know what is acceptable in your family. This boundary establishes a threshold that once crossed has consequences. For our family, if they want to act like adults, then they must assume the responsibility of an adult. When I was a kid, my father told us, that if we chose to get a tattoo, that was letting him know that we were ready to be financially independent. I still don't have any tattoos;)
How old do you have to be to get a tattoo in California? I thought I better look this up to see if there are any laws against getting tattooed or pierced.
In California, it is against the law to get a tattoo if you are under the age of 18. The tattoo shop can be prosecuted for molestation of a minor if they tattoo a minor. However, a minor can be pierced with the consent of a parent or legal guardian. So, I think it's our job as parents to uphold the law and to not circumvent it for a child that wants a tattoo under the age of 18.
With kids, it's important to use our leverage over them with responsibility. And, as parents, we must be positive that we are prepared to follow through with the consequences we outline. Otherwise, children have the ability to step over boundaries like Superman bounds buildings. If a child over the age of 18 wants a tattoo, they are free to go to a parlor in California, present their ID and pick the design of their choice.
However, we as parents don't have to support this behavior. I'm not saying to stop loving your child if they do things like getting a tattoo, but I do believe in consequences.
Here are a few ideas for consequences until the tattoo or piercing is remedied.
- No financial support for college.
- Pull other financial support for cell phone, car or anything else you may be picking up the tab.
- Can't live at home or access to things in the home.
These may seem harsh, but the boundary is clear and the consequences grave. If my 18 year old daughter came home with a tattoo from spring break. I'd say great. You are ready to take care of yourself. Now, if she realized she made a mistake, I would say. Fine. We all make mistakes. Get rid of the tattoo and I'll reinstate your privileges.
I think it's important to help our kids when they do make mistakes. In this case, I wouldn't pay to have a tattoo removed, but I might give them jobs around the house to earn the money. I wouldn't make the appointment to get the tattoo removed, but I'd go with them if they needed support. The important thing is to know that boundaries will be crossed. And not to be too upset or disappointed, but to enforce the consequence and then to provide the opportunity for them to correct the action.