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How Not To Name Your Baby Girl

Updated on December 30, 2010
I say, is that Strywbyrry Shyrtcyke?
I say, is that Strywbyrry Shyrtcyke?

Naming your new baby is one of the more amusing things you'll do in pregnancy, somewhere in between throwing up and having blood tests.

(This is of course assuming you name the baby before it is born, and don't allow it to choose its own name by picking Scrabble pieces out of a box when it develops the manual dexterity to do so.)

Unfortunately instead of boldly striking out where no name has gone before many parents are currently deciding to use traditional baby names, but with 'updated' spelling (which in the case of girls, often involves the addition of an extraneous 'y'.)

All of the names in this article are real, unless I made them up. Disturbingly, I actually didn't have to make any of them up. They were proudly assigned to babies. Real babies.

Add A Y

Having a baby is all about hope for the future. If you give your child a name with an additional y, you can guarantee that they'll be spending the rest of their lives saying, 'no, with a y' and then painstakingly spelling their name for people who are locked into old paradigms of spelling.

One of the hottest new trends at the moment is taking traditional baby names and updating them, usually by adding a 'y' where no y ever existed. Cases in point include names like Madylyn, Londyn, Bryleigh, Nataly, Madilyne, Makayla, Kylee (not actually suffering with an additional y, but rather from the substitution of an e for an I), Sophya, the list goes on.

Boys are not immune to additional y syndrome. Names like Chayse and Tym also make themselves felt, but 'y' is clearly currently considered to be more of a feminine sounding letter than a masculine one.

It's unclear where this particular trend arose, at a guess one might imagine that the letter Y has only just been discovered in some parts of the world. Perhaps it's been under the cat's litter box all this time.

I'll Take A Consonant Please

You don't have to stop there however. There are plenty of other letters hanging out just waiting to be tacked onto names that already exist.

Isabellah, Brooklynn (clever addition of an extra 'n' to avoid confusion at the post office), Kaylah, Shalyah, the list goes on.

You'll note that adding an 'h' after names ending in 'a' is also popular at the current time. Why? Who knows, perhaps parents consider exposed vowels shameful.

Unfortunately, changing the spelling of a name that already exists in order to make it more 'original' is, at best, going to date your child to a particular period in history, (sorry, hystory) in which it was considered acceptable to spell things incorrectly.

If you want an original name, go all out. Choose something new and interesting and fashion forward. Not something that will one day be the name equivalent of a poodle perm and neon legwarmers.


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