ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel
  • »
  • Family and Parenting»
  • Parenting Skills, Styles & Advice

New moms in need of friends - playgroup

Updated on December 5, 2012

Humans tend to be clannish as we are inclined to associate with members of one's own group. That is something that most likely is a result of an early human evolution when people lived in small tribal societies with a strong dominant leader. To stick together was necessary for a tribe to survive. No wonder we still need the same strong tight knit groups of friends to thrive. Any new mama will soon discover that without an adequate support of like minded women she is going to burn out very soon. It is almost a requisite for a brand new mom to have a group of other mamas to depend on. And that's when finding a playgroup becomes important.

Image: Nutdanai Apikhomboonwaroot / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Image: Nutdanai Apikhomboonwaroot / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

How to find a playgroup?

To find a right playgroup that is a good fit for you and your children is not that easy. Going to a neighborhood park may not always be an answer to this problem. While you may eventually find some likeminded mamas there, your chances are small. I know it used to work in the past but nowadays you will need to search online to find it. Try yahoo groups and use keywords that describe your search criteria. For example, you may want to search for "Baltimore cloth diapering mamas". The next good choice is meetup.com where you also need to search for one near you and with a profile that appeals to you. Last but not least, you may want to start your own playgroup with one or two friends and hope to attract more moms as the time goes by.

Playgroups for moms

In my first year of motherhood I didn't know this. I felt somehow isolated and lacked exactly this - a pack of well meaning friends who understood what sleep deprivation was. Because even a loving husband didn't quite understand what it was for me to be with a baby all the time and have no moment for myself at all. Luckily, after our move to California I was able to find friends with similar philosophy on rearing children. That actually is very important, your clan/group has to fit your bill, I searched high and low until I found what I was looking for, a group of AP (attachment parenting) mamas and another playgroup for tandem nursing moms. In my very first weeks of being a mom of two, when I was very emotionally fragile I was only able to survive because of all the support I have received from women who had been there where I was at that time. Every week I was looking forward to a Wednesday playgroup so my little ones would have friends to play with and, even more important, that I would connect with other human beings who shared the same ups and downs of raising young children. I would feel recharged every time I talked to them and it was a very important for me to be there. As my little children grew up and my life was a little less chaotic I was able to relax. I also noticed that as I was more comfortable in my role of a mother I was able to help other moms with my own advice and pay back.

Image: photostock / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Image: photostock / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Friendships

Time passed and again I needed to redefine my family's changing needs and we had to search for new options and new circles of friends who would share similar interests. It was a process but we managed to come across new groups of people who are on similar path to ours and that again fulfilled our hopes for friendships. As my children are older now and are able to discern whether their playmates are the right candidates for friends it is very important to nurture these budding relationships for their and mine sake. It feels safe to be in an environment of people who share similar values and whom you can depend upon and know they will stay with you.

As for the clannish human behavior, I think it is how it should be, however, we must never forget we belong to one extended clan of humankind on the Earth.

 

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: "https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr"

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is used to quickly and efficiently deliver files such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisements has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)