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Out Of Control Kidz
Show me an out of control child and i will show you an out of control parent or parents.
We continually blame society, social media and children for their behavior but up until a certain age point children are doing what they see their parents or care giver's doing.
Do you ever feel like taking that child in hand and disciplining them or at least verbally correcting their behavior?
I do! My mother did! I remember as a child she would stop our car and speak to some child on the road who was behaving badly.
I remember when i was old enough i would tell her, she was taking a risk speaking to someone else's child, she would simple say to me, "this is my country and they are important to me as well".
- Discipline is different from punishment.
- Discipline starts with love and respect
I believe in the philosophy that three strikes and you are out, which means that discipline is handed out at the third infraction. But that child needs to be warned those first two times. Before that they need to know what is expected of them.
Because we all come from different backgrounds and have varying personalities, you need to make sure that you verbalize what is expected and what is accepted. We as responsible loving parents or caregivers, will be teaching all the time and every time the opportunity presents itself.
Our role as parents are to bring up and teach our children to be beneficial contributors to every environment we release them into, this is ongoing. It never stops! A parent that cares for their child's welfare, not necessarily their own, will always be speaking to their child.
- You continue to talk to your children because you love them.
- You discipline your child because you love them.
- You protect your child because you love them.
- You give your child the best life and gifts possible because you love them.
- You correct your child because you love them.
Love never backs down from confrontation. It speaks the truth because it is concerned with the individual it is addressing, and the quality of life they have or will have.
The new generation looks to be out of control, but why? Because we have shown them that being out of control is okay. But we have allowed them to be deceived, because we all know without discipline nothing but chaos reigns supreme.
It leads to all kinds of dangers and issues that can be avoided.
Now don't get me wrong, it is never too late to enforce discipline, it is just more difficult with lots more challenges, but it can be done. So nothing is over until we are six feet under.
Starting young is the key, but it is not the only key. You can still establish relationships at any age, through love and friendship, but starting young reinforces all the necessary securities that children need to grow emotionally.
It needs to start at home, yes, your home life matters, because what your child is taught at home is the only thing a child has to work with and that is what they will demonstrate out side of the home.
Every organization needs rules and the same goes for your home and your children.
Good people, good children and a good society does not just happen. It comes about through rules, laws and what has been established as good morals.
Children only know what they are taught, that could be verbally or through what they see. Children typically duplicate the behavior of the nurturing adult that is in their life while they are young. They learn through mimicry!
But if you are struggling with destructive habits make sure as you deal with them you are teaching what is the right thing to do as well, because it is easy for our little darlings to pick up on what is bad behavior with little effort.
Ever wonder why kids say 'No' before they say 'Yes'. Why it is easier to say, cuss or curse words when we stub our toes rather than something that is a blessing or encouraging phrase.
Ever wonder why?
Back to our out of control kids, show me an out of control kid and i will show you an out of control parents, caregivers, and environments.
Signs of an out of control kid
- ignoring the parent or the caregiver
- no manners, please, thank you, excuse me, etc
- too much talking, over talking, you know when you see it
- not knowing when to speak, interrupt grownups
- loud talking inside, screaming, hollering, tantrums
- nasty, they leave a mess
- they back talk, disrespectful to parents and authority
- taking things without asking, stealing, sneaking,
You know if you are dealing with these issues with your child. Hear me, if a child does it after you talk to them about why this is not acceptable, only then do you start to worry. They need to know that it is unacceptable before they understand that they need to correct that behavior.
For instance you need to teach a child the difference between an inside voice and an outside voice.
A child needs to understand that profanity is not acceptable language and really shows ignorance because you can not find a better way to express your feelings.
How to rectify
- set your rules
- teach your rules
- talk about why the rules are important
- discipline, not punish, use what works with your child, spanking, time out, taking something away,
- do what you say, empty threats set you up for failure, distrust, and as a joke
- let them know you love them, that you want the best for them,
Kids learn early what their environments will allow. But their parents or caregivers have the first and the last say.
I am a firm believer in giving responsibility at every age. So as your child gets older you add things like chores to their list of things to do. For example, if they are finished with one toy and want another, make them put the first one back where it belongs.
Or when they make a mess teach them how to clean it up and from then on help them do the job instead of doing it for them.
Set expectations for each child and have them prove to you that they are trustworthy. This leads to both of you being comfortable when it comes to big things like driving the family car or leaving them alone at home for a few hours.
Whether you are a stay at home mother, have a caregiver or housekeeper, or staff, or go to work every day, you need to have a list of age appropriate chores that your child has to do everyday or at least once a week on Saturday.
- washing dishes
- doing laundry, washing clothes, folding clothes, hanging up clothes etc
- house work
- helping with groceries
- yard work
Whatever job they can assist with without being in the way is always a great way to get your child involved in something and you both spending quality time together.
Remember though, mutual respect is key, listening is important and engaging your child makes all the difference because you demonstrate your love for them.
Quality time is important!