ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Over Controlling Parents?... No Such Thing!!!!

Updated on March 25, 2014

Are Children Responsible Enough?

For Those Who Believe Parents Can be Over Controlling


I have to say, when I hear the criticism about parent’s who spoil their children, I usually tend to agree, but… any day, I would rather see a parent spoil a child than neglect one. That’s the same direction I find myself going in response to those who feel that there is such a thing as an "over-controlling parent". Personally, I think that today’s parents aren’t having enough input, influence or responsibility of their children’s lives, let alone being "over-controlling". If I had to choose, I would rather see a parent have too much control rather than not enough. I would rather see a parent making too many choices for their children and feel the need to be that involved than to stand back and watch a person with no legs try to walk. Yes, children are individuals and they should embrace their individuality…but they aren’t even capable, at the very least due to continuing brain development, to make appropriate decisions for every occasion, cope adequately or fully understand long-term consequences.

Some say over controlling parents believe that children are blank slates that they can control and dictate to. I don’t think a lot of parents are over controlling because they feel the need to control but rather they fear what happens if they aren’t assisting their children in their choices.

As parents we are responsible for “molding” our children into whom they become. If we don’t, they will only find the influences elsewhere. I am a parent myself, and I am a “soft parent” I am very far from being over controlling but it is only because I don’t have the courage. I am the psychological parent; I base everything on reasoning, why we do things, why we should and why we shouldn’t. I know that I can teach my children all of the morals and values they will every need inside of my home, it is what happens when they walk out my door that I know I lose control. When they are exposed to the outside world they are subjected to picking up immoral behavior and poor values. We need to do the molding.




The good old days

Respect?


Rewind twenty to thirty years. Remember the days of “Yes, Sir” and “Yes Ma’am”? Does anyone remember when please and thank you were used as often as um and but? Remember the days when girls were expected to wear dresses and boys wore button up collar shirts? Children are just that, children. They are blank slates and we need to fill the slates in for them, teach them how to begin to understand how to fill in their slates and then stand by and watch them when the time comes to see if we have taught them well. There needs to be a dominant parent vs. child role in the house. We have no business letting children believe they are our equals because then they think that their judgment is as sufficient as ours and it just simply isn’t. That isn’t to say we shouldn't have respect for our children and express our respect. We do need to respect our children, and I think that respect in general is dying out, but children are in need of our guidance and if we don’t teach them the right way they will grow up to resent us later.


Disclaimer...

My intentions are to point out that we are losing the adult versus child role in today's society. There needs to be lines between teachers and students, parents and children, children and their elders; we are not equal, not yet. Children need guidance and we need to guide them in a healthy environment. However, there is such a thing as simply being a bad parent. Don't confuse abuse, with over controlling. There are the unfortunate circumstances where parents physcially, emotionally, psychologically, mentally or sexually abuse their children, while that is clearly a matter of control, it is clearly more than a matter of control; it is abuse. Controlling of any person is generally a bad/abusive situation, but children have different needs than capable adults. Some people simply feel the need to control others in an abusive way and often times their children are no exception. This is a case of someone that would need professional help and it should not be stood for and reported if witnessed.

My goal is to get people to wake up and realize that the world is turning out some pretty ugly characters and if we have the honor of molding beautiful children into productive, healthy adults then we should take advantage of that opportunity.

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • profile image

      Harassed "child" 3 years ago

      In some cases, Parenting is a good thing, but if you're a parent and you're trying to control every aspect of your child's life, especially when said child has managed to take care of themselves for years without intervention? That's a bit much.

    • profile image

      RBJ33 3 years ago

      To Kylie -

      First - your parents aren't over controlling, they're abusive.

      Second - don't insult the author with "you are ridiculous' and "hope you don't have kids." Those don't help your argument. You sound just like your parents. Are you like them?

      Third - learn to spell correctly, and to use the proper words in the

      proper places. That would make for a more intelligent

      comment.

      Fourth - life is what you make it be, so make yourself a better one.

    • profile image

      Kylie 3 years ago

      You are ridiculous. You don't even know what over controlling is, do Not encourage it. Here is over controlling for you.

      When you aren't aloud to play with the neighbors or even in the front yard. When you are being eyeballed even in the back yard. When you get shit for your friends and boys you date, even though your parents don't take time to get to know them. In fact the only two boys they do like abused you but they have manners so who cares about character right? When the only friends they like they like because they are the same religion as your parents, even though those friends backstab and lie. Controlling parents are when they notice you're starting to date and grow up so they tell you how ugly you are and how no one could ever care about you so you stay inside with them away from people and loathing yourself. Over controlling is when your best still isn't what they want and if you aren't what they want then you're embarrassing. Over controlling is choosing what classes you take in high school because your career choice isn't "approved." Over controlling is when you get hit for going out with friends and they try to make you feel guilty. Over controlling is when you're taught manners and such but they aren't good enough/done correctly ever. Like did you know you can't play with your friends or cousins? Ladies don't do that. Ladies sit up straight, don't move, don't talk, and they look happy while doing it. Over controlling is when they never show you love or acceptance but they buy expensive things for you as excuse for you to never leave them. Then as punishment they break/burn/throw away those things, ultimately leading you to become a hoarder. They also physically and verbally will do quite a lot as a means of keeping you there with them, quite often using guilt(I buy nice things for you) as reason for you to not protest their behavior. Over controlling is going to school, going home, and if you see your friends or ask to see them you get punished. Over controlling is using the expensive things you Never asked for from above as a "token" - I buy you useless crap so I do not need to treat you like a human being or show you any care as a parent. Over controlling is being told "I will do Anything to break you and your husband up" not because there is anything wrong with him but because he is "stealing you away" supposedly. Over controlling is stealing from you because if you have no money you can't move out. Over controlling is when your life is Not your life because your mom, dad, or whoever doesn't care enough about you to let you grow. And yes, that is not caring enough. Sometimes parents cross the line because they care to much, but getting even near that line is usually painful for a good parent. People who cross that line or go waaay over it like my mother did are just plain Bad parents who don't care about their kids. It takes caring for them to let them live their life as they choose. Guiding, Never controlling. The idea that you would say "there's no such thing" as an over controlling parent is not only extremely wrong but it encourages parents that whatever they're doing is normal and acceptable. And THAT is an insult to me, the things I went through as a child, and every other kid who's been a victim of their parents "caring too much." Really hope you don't have kids.

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
      Author

      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      Shyron E Shenko,

      Thank you so much for the visit and the support! Just in saying that you tried your best says a lot! Sadly, I know many parents who never try at all. You should be proud of the men your sons have become, is there a better reward... besides those grandchildren? Depending on who's voting... you just might win a mother of the year award!

      Thanks again!

      Cat

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
      Author

      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      Au fait,

      I admit... I wrote this hub immediately after reading a hub complaining about 'over controlling' parents. Sure, I understand the meddling parent to an adult child, but I don't like the idea of insinuating that parents can be too involved... especially in a time when parents seem to have very little to do with their children anymore, whether it's a choice or just an ugly consequence to other modern factors.

      I certainly wouldn't ever be winning the perfect parent award or even mother of the year. In fact, I'm a little bit of a softie and even a pushover. However, I grew up in such different times and there is much I appreciate about my childhood and many things that I have brought with me into adulthood that I want my children to experience, though the world is seemingly trying to forget in a hurry. I also had the kind of innocent childhood with a family that physically did everything together and wonderful memories were made, but where my parents failed, I have paid as an adult. I don't blame my parents for anything, I adore and admire them; I am an adult and I will take full responsibility for my actions and my thought processes. However, my father was psychologically crippling, something I did not fully comprehend until I finished growing up and it has left a huge mark on me. My parenting philosophy is simple; 1. Keep my children alive 2. Teach respect, show respect and demand respect. 3. Build strong and healthy self-esteems so that my children not only feel that they are good enough and can do anything, but they will strive to be better and do everything. The world is ugly and I want my kids prepared. I am nurturing, but I don't coddle because that will only misguide my children.

      It's unfortunate and I feel for the parents that don't have the appropriate 'time' for their children. Yet, I know all too many parent's who simply seem to not even care.

      With a mother like you, I'm sure your daughter has a good head on her shoulders!

      I love the turtle factoid... now that is sad!

      Thank you for the visit and the votes and sharing too!

      Cat

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image

      Shyron E Shenko 4 years ago from Texas

      I just did the best I could, but I have to say I am proud of the men my sons became, and I am proud of the children they have.

      But no I would never win a mother of the year award for any year. Voted up pinned and shared.

    • Au fait profile image

      C E Clark 4 years ago from North Texas

      Agree with pretty much everything you say here. Even though my daughter's father is a Texan through and through, I am a Yankee, and most of us up North don't require the Yes, ma'am, no Sir, etc., stuff, but we expect the deed (showing respect) just the same.

      As to dresses and button down shirts for casual situations, I don't see the need. Clean and presentable, courteous and respectful, and that's good enough. I did allow my daughter to make decisions I felt would do no harm whichever way they went from about age 4. With small things there is no harm I think in letting children learn that everything has consequences and always will, so why not learn that at a young age? Those decision became more important as she got older, but so long as she was under my 'rule' I reserved the option to overrule anything I felt was not sound judgment. She's almost 25 now and seems to be pretty level headed.

      Couldn't agree more that most parents seem not to exercise enough control. I suspect a lot of it is that many parents work such long hours that they don't want to spend the little time they have with their kids disciplining. Of course some parents really don't care and I've observed those parents too many time.

      I was what my oldest sister referred to as an over protective parent, and I'm sure a lot of people agreed with her. But my child grew up and was never physically/sexually abused, and I bet a lot of parents whose children did not grow up (because they were tortured and then killed) wish they would have been overprotective like me. They might still have their children if they had been.

      Parenting is not always convenient as I'm sure you know, and it is a long commitment. As I told my daughter many times, if God thought children should raise themselves he would have made them turtles. As you may know, once sea turtles have laid their eggs, that is the limit of their responsibility to their young. They never even check to see if the eggs ever hatched. Some people would seem to want to be turtle parents.

      Voted up and useful. Will share.

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
      Author

      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      peachpurple,

      Thanks so much! I'm not in any running for 'mother of the year' but simple things just seem to be neglected nowadays.

    • peachpurple profile image

      peachy 4 years ago from Home Sweet Home

      useful hub. Lots of points listed that most of us parents think so too.

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
      Author

      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      moonlake,

      I absolutely agree and well stated! I guess I have been fortunate enough to have parents that have not meddled in my adult life and so that hasn't been an issue I have had to deal with. I do have a brother whoever, whose wife's mother is so 'in' their lives that they hardly have their own family identity and it's very frustrating. I think there is always some desire to please parents, even when we're grown and having controlling parents in adulthood can be very damaging.

      Thanks so much for stopping and the input!

    • moonlake profile image

      moonlake 4 years ago from America

      I believe there is nothing wrong with parents having control over their children that's why they are parents and that is their job. Parents need to be involved and have rules in their children's lives. The kind of parent I hate to see is one that thinks they should still have that control once their children are adults. Interesing hub voted up.

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
      Author

      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      Ohh, Colin... you're on fire tonight! You know that sound you make when you see a beautiful baby and you just can't get over how cute and precious they are... o--h-h-h-h-h.... I've been doing that all night! :D

    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 4 years ago

      Colin's team always wins when he spents precious time with Cat.

      The clock stops.

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
      Author

      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      Ahhh! Why am I not getting all of my notifications? I got the hard piece but I've seen nothing of this one! Gee... I was going to ask you earlier if you had published any newbies today... and I just found the one, but I guess I'm late to the other party... On my way!!!

      Did your team win??? You sound relaxed... and good luck with that car, I'll be crossing my fingers for ya!

    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 4 years ago

      Yes me talked about the finger kissing and the thumbs too but I haven't even got to the good part - the toe sucking, lol.

      Did ya miss my Sweetheart's climb piece - dat was a sweet one and it shows me softer side. (no not that softer side)

      Listening to some uptempo blues with one beer and then I have to take my car in tomorrow morning to see the mortician, whoops, I mean, mechanic

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
      Author

      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      XXXcellent! lol... Oh Colin, I'm never going to sleep tonight... I think it must be a full moon?

      Aw, you're so sweet Colin... you certainly make my day, night and morning :D ... Oh, how I dread looking down at that little right hand corner where the time stares me in the face. So much left undone but so little time left to sleep... what's a girl to do?

      And the tree house? Better pucker up 'cause it's kicking my butt still :D

    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 4 years ago

      If my nose was as long as what I'm talking about - they would call me Pinocchio and put me in the adult film industry.

      I am here to tuck you into bed my dear unless you're pulling an all nighter and you certainly would with me if we ever met at a cross border penthouse hotel suite between New York state and Ontario, lol

      The game just ended in double overtime with Boston winning and it's 12:33am

      Still one of the greatest stories of all time Cat was you being the awesome mum that you are by helping build a tree house - after I heard that story I wanted to kiss each one of your 8 fingers and your two thumbs

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
      Author

      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      Oh my goodness Colin... I'm going to assume you're talking about your nose :D .... you're too flippin' funny... Hey, you could make a hub about that? lol

      Hopefully the loudness will be the result of a celebration and not a temper tantrum :D

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
      Author

      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      Express10,

      Thank you so much! Just about any adult today can see the major shift in the parent/child relationship of today versus our childhood. I don't know if it's laziness or ignorance but so many parents today seem to not be parenting. Don't get me wrong; I won't be bringing home the parent of the year award, but at least I'm trying to give my kids the tools they'll need to make it out in that scary, fast-paced world of today.

      Calling parents by their names; that really bothers me and I've seen parents talk about it as if it were cute... no it is a lack of respect.

      The inappropriate clothing? Oh wow does that one get me. I'm appalled that the clothes are on the market; an excuse which I've heard parents use to justify their actions. We certainly don't need to by them and they probably wouldn't be for sale if companies couldn't count on us buying them! Right?

      No kid should be terrified of their parent, but yes, there should be a basic desire to 'do well'. That's why I stress the importance of praise along side of discipline, obviously all discipline and no praise will result in some serious psychological issues down the road. Oh, I could go on... look how you got me going! :D

      Excellent comments, thank you so much!

      Cat

    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 4 years ago

      Roses are red

      Violets are blue

      Something else, Cat, would have wrinkles

      if I didn't have you.

      2nd intermission at the Bruin-Penguins hockey game 9:56pm

      and yes things will get fookin' loud afterwards with some beers and some music

      and you're pretty awesome, hot, sexy, smart, intelligent, charming, perceptive, kind and sensitive yourself my Cat when I look into the mirror and see you.

    • Express10 profile image

      H C Palting 4 years ago from East Coast

      Voted up and awesome. I agree that a lot of problems stem from a blurring of child versus adult roles. I see children calling their parents by their first names, yelling at their parents, and children being allowed to dress in very inappropriate ways and some parents who allow their children to drink in their homes when it should not be taking place in or outside of their homes. Having some control, having some level of respect and dare I say it, fear of letting one's parents down is important to growing as a child into a teen, and finally maturing to eventually become an adult.

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
      Author

      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      Dearest Colin,

      You make me laugh... there is no better medicine; well, 'cept maybe for that loud fookin' music and dandy drinks you talk about so often :D

      Vast Ocean? Ha ha ha... no Colin dear, I'm afraid that simply isn't true... but you, you I know I can count on to always be here for me, just as you have from the beginning and I hope you always will!

      A gay bathhouse huh? He he he...

      Roses are red

      Violets are blue

      My face would have frown wrinkles

      If I didn't have you!

      Roses are Red

      Violets are Blue

      I might not be gay, but I'd certainly be lonely and more sad and have less reasons to smile, because you are just the most awesomest, sweetest, funniest, wittiest, sharpest, most beautiful person in the world....

      If I didn't have you!

      :D

    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 4 years ago

      Roses are red

      Violets are blue

      I'd be sitting in a gay bathhouse right now

      if I didn't have you.

    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 4 years ago

      ......but on the other hand if you permit me to say so and just take a wee bit out of your valuable time from the vast ocean you have of other male admirers - then I will continue ......

    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 4 years ago

      Good evening Cat and your beautiful family at 6:48pm I have missed you more than words can say ....... so I will say no more .......

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
      Author

      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      Dearest Colin,

      You look different; I don't know what it is, but it's in your eyes! :D

      Good morning and now almost afternoon to you, my dear sweet friend!

      Me fingers are all swollen today and I'm aching in places I didn't know I still has :D Thank you, you're always so sweet and I'm so glad your mother was so good to you, as too many kids are not that fortunate.

      I have not receieved my notifications yet about your newest two hubs, but luckily I found them myself upon investigation and I must head that way, because after all, that is the only way to start my day :D

      Big hugs to you and the gang; I will take a cup of lemon-aid... 5cents a glass? :D

      Your Cat

    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 4 years ago

      Good morning my dear Cat from lake erie time 10:09am and it's a beautiful sunny day here by the lake with my 2nd cup of coffee and two delicious lemon muffins (heated) and pleasant thoughts of you while listening to J.S Bach

      I was very moved by your wonderous story about the greatest mum in the world building a treehouse. You can build my treehouse anyday because I am usually out of my tree anyway thinking about you, lol.

      My best friend was my mum so I know all about great mums - of which you are most definitely one - so thank you for sharing your nice story with me yesterday.

      Big Canadian hugs from Colin and his cat gang who are outside selling lemon-aid .....lol

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
      Author

      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      Dearest Colin,

      ...and an oh so happy good afternoon to you! I just treated myself to the super sounds of KC and the Sunshine band, but I will have to go check out this Charlier Bird you speak of :-)

      I thank you... and I know, not even spinach could take your love from me :D

      Your presence came with sunshine and the rain has now stopped... it is a miracle Colin; the magic you make ;-)

      Ooh, what a lovely dinner... one day, we shall have to dine together! What a memory that would create!!!!

      Big hugs for my Colin, the guy who knows how to make a heart smile :D

      Your Cat

    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 4 years ago

      Good afternoon my dear Cat and I am just dropping by to say hello and give you a nice hug at lake erie time 1:09pm and I thought of you just now because you are reflecting your diamonds on my lake courtesy of your brilliant 'sunny' smile (and even if you have spinach in your teeth I would kiss you anyway) (lol)

      I am preparing a nice pork roast in the oven with some potatoes and gravy and that will be my lunch and dinner.

      Currently listening to the marvelous jazz guitar master Charlie Byrd and there's a lovely fresh southwesternly breeze off the lake today

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
      Author

      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      Dearest Colin,

      You are just so wonderful, I swear and you give me too much credit and you, not enough :-) You have an aura about you and I'm not the only one who sees and appreciates it. But, I know I love you to pieces and I don't just think and worry about you when I'm on here. When you're not around, I get nervous. I'm gonna keep on watching out for you because you are such a dear friend... I couldn't imagine life without my Colin!

      There is anything I wouldn't do for you... Frankieonfire, you say? I'm on my way!

      Thank you Colin... love and hugs to you and your pretty kitties, your Cat.

    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 4 years ago

      Good afternoon Cat to you and your lovely family from Colin and his cat crew.

      It's currently 12:23pm and first a small favor to ask of you as you know how I like to promote people here - could you check out FRANKIEONFIRE and thanks for that.

      Thank you for saving my life, literally, without you I don't think I could have made it. Not much else to say WHEN THAT SAYS EVERYTHING , lol.

      I will talk to you later on in the day or night and have an awesome Saturday - love and hugs from Colin and his cat crew T and G

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
      Author

      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      Dearest Colin,

      I am so happy to hear from you and I’d be lying if I said, that I don’t know you well enough to sense something was up. I was going to come looking for you and find out what was going on, but I can’t seem to get a heck of a lot of time in front of this machine the last few days.

      I’ve missed you terribly and I’m happy to hear that you’ve missed me too, but I’m extremely saddened and concerned that you’re going through this tough spot… and lost your confidence?

      Colin, how can you lose your confidence? You are loved by so many and maybe they don’t live on your street, but their love is just as real. You are so talented and funny, super creative and wicked witty. You’re probably the most compassionate and sympathetic human I know and I am absolutely honored to have you in my life and I’m not just saying that. I have felt a piece of me has been missing these last few days as I have hardly spoken with you.

      I wouldn’t be the cheerleader I am, if you weren’t holding me up in the triangle!

      I can only hope to make people feel half as good and important as you do!

      You have a special heart as it loves everything in its path and is not bias!

      Then you must be an angel with extra wings because you pick me up and carry me whenever I need it and I always do!

      You instantly become family to those you touch and I can say you’re a heck of an Uncle Colin… ask my kids… I’ve shared with them! :D

      You have such a magical way about you!

      I have shed tears from words you’ve spoken, on more than one occasion! On days I don’t want to care anymore… you make me care again!

      You are more than a writer, you are an artist and I would walk door to door, selling your pieces because I would be doing a service to mankind!

      Your smile is contagious and you must light up more than a thousand faces with your humble ways each and every day!

      You are a best friend! I’ve never met another Colin and I’m sure I never will. I never thought I could care so deeply for someone so far away and never saw in person… you might be through an internet connection but you’re real and there’s a connection!

      You inspire me, to do more, be more, face fears and take leaps! I know, everything will be okay, because Colin’s here and he will support me in whatever I do and that is unconditional!

      God bless you Colin, I am truly blessed to have you and I thank God for you every day… I do!

      Most sincere loves and hugs to you and Little Miss Tiffy and Mister Gabriel, two more people who are so grateful for you and your love! You made my day, as you always do! Thank you for being every bit of who you are and I wouldn’t change even one thing!!!

      Your ever-loving, Cat

    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 4 years ago

      A top ten from your sad Canadian man:

      What makes you so special Cat

      (In no particualar order)

      10. you are a cheerleader for the human race and it's contagious.

      You make everyone feel 'so' good and you make each and everyone of us feel important

      9. you have such a special heart (no doubt God must have recruited you as an ambassador) and it glows like the greatest light I've ever seen.

      8. you always pick me up when I'm down. Only angels have that gift.

      7. you are the world's greatest mum and your legacy will live on in the generations of 'little cats' to come

      6. you have such a lovely way about you.

      5. you make me want to cry for tears of happiness. I am always moved and touched how you reach out to me.

      4. you are just a natural writer. They can't teach your Cat language at writer's school. It just is. And some of us have it - but you will always have it.

      3. your smile (I know I can 'read/see it' in your words) could light up a 1000 power generators.

      2. you are a loyal friend. Can't say I've met many like you and I would have to go through several lifetimes just to meet someone like you again.

      1. your humor and good nature is world class and should be a template towards making this world a better place - and of course to those who know you - well you've already made that world a better place.

      God bless my Cat and her family

      and most sincere love and hugs from Colin and his cat crew Little Miss Tiffy and Mister Gabriel - and thank you for making me feel better and a better person too.

      lake erie timeless for someone like you

    • epigramman profile image

      epigramman 4 years ago

      I've missed you too Cat. I am in the worst time of my life. I've completely lost my confidence.

      I hope though all is well with you and your family. Be happy, stay healthy and always show your big beautiful heart.

    • RBJ33 profile image

      RBJ33 4 years ago

      I look forward to your respect hub

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image
      Author

      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      RBJ33,

      I have to admit that there is more to it that I said. This hub was compiled in the heat of the moment in response to a hub about over controlling parents. On the contrary, I actually know how damaging a parent's influence can be on a child, especially into adulthood. Maybe I will add more to the hub when I get chance to serve reality. My passion is that times have changed drastically since I was a child and that was only a few years ago. I have seen the family unit compromised and parents simply allowing children to raise themselves. I don't see picnics in the parks anymore, family bike rides, etc. All of the things that were a part of the kind of life I had grown up in have been replaced with technology, electronics and media.

      You are right and I appreciate you offering "the other side". A parent who is heavily involved, but with negative influences can absolutely damage a kid and probably create some of the most psychologically disturbed people out there.

      As far as respect; I need to write a hub on that one. I don't even think most kids no what respect is. It's just another factor of how ugly america and society has gotten, yes, I will complain about this because it is the ADULTS that need to be teaching respect and leading by example, but instead we fail our kids and we fail our country.

    • RBJ33 profile image

      RBJ33 4 years ago

      Well there you go again tackling a tough subject - I wouldn't expect less. But I disagree just a little bit - I have a situation where the over-protecting parent had a bad effect on a child, who is now an adult - but that is an isolated case. I agree however that I prefer over rather than under.

      I shop at a grocery store that is across the street from a high school - those kids flood the grocery store at lunch time - they are loud and full of themselves - they can practically knock you down without even a glance - no respect for elders - I have a couple of really cute granddaughters whose table manners are awful. Do I sound old and cranky? Well I am :)