- Family and Parenting
Overcoming a Bad Childhood
What was it like when you were younger?
When people classify certain childhood experiences they almost always think about if that child came from dysfunction or not. While there is no such thing as a perfectly functioned home there are families out there who do take the time to be as loving and caring as possible. Unfortunately though, there are also families that neglect and abuse.
What is the best way to overcome the pain?
We each have our own ways of dealing with our past, but sometimes our choices lead us to further struggles like addiction and even suicidal tendencies. Why addiction? Because the idea is to escape the pain that we live with. While this does help to an extent, it does not heal. Therefore, burying the inner pain you have with addiction is only temporarily helping you, rather than healing you. This means that no matter how much you drink or engage in using other substances, your pain will never go away. In other words, you are wasting your time. What do you do then? Talking about what happened is the best way to help you heal. Who can you trust? Yes psychiatrists can be all about the time you spend paying for their sessions, but there are some that do care. Even better, there are volunteer counselors that you can spill the beans with that do not judge or make you feel uncomfortable. The bottom line is, there is hope!
What if I don't want to talk about my pain?
Refusing to let out your pain is only going to make you more depressed and instable. Discussing what happened may not be easy but it is the primary way to overcome what happened. A lot of victims do not want to remember what they went through, so they feel that talking about it is going to force them to face it. True, you do have to face your pain in order to talk about it, but it's better to face it and move through it then leave it buried in your mind.
Can a bad childhood affect relationships?
The answer is yes. Not only can it affect relationships but it can also end them. When a person is a victim to a bad childhood they tend to have serious trust issues that can very badly hinder their connection with someone special. As we get older we should try our best to remember that we are older and not the child we were that hurts. Parental relationships are affected instantly once a child is mistreated or abused by them. Even guardians or babysitters can affect a child's trusting levels. It is important to keep in mind that once you traumatize a child, they may never get through it.
Why did they hurt me when I was younger?
People hurt others no matter what. Adults hurt children regardless of them being so small and fragile. Sometimes abuse is a cycle more than anything. The reason for this is because parents were abused when they were younger and decide to carry the abuse into their future family home life. Unfortunately, this occurs way more than people realize. Domestic abuse is very common. Children who are subjected to this home life are more than likely the ones who turn to addiction and other risky escapes later on. Self destructive behavior is derived from being abused, therefore, children that were abused tend to grow up self destructive. The main question that these victims might ask their selves periodically is why? Simply why? Why did they have to endure so much pain as a child and why did they have such non loving parents, etc. The fact is there are many reasons as to why children are abused, so each answer is contingent upon the abuse pattern and abuser.
How do I move forward?
Being a victim to a bad childhood will always haunt you but there are options for you to overcome it, as I have stated in the second paragraph above. Can you continue living with the inner pain without talking about it? Sure, but that means you will never heal. Can you live that way? Only you know the answer to that. Many are doing it as we speak so it is very possible to do. I have always been about growing though, so I chose to overcome my bad childhood. Of course, the process was not easy. In fact, losing my step father to departure made me relive my childhood again back in 2008. That was a nightmare. A total double painful whammy on top of being in mourning. This was when I ultimately sought out a higher existence. Most people call this existence God.
Good luck to anyone who needs to overcome their bad childhood!