ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Parenting: It's Never Easy but It Can Be Done

Updated on March 22, 2013
Rearing children is a daunting task but worth it.
Rearing children is a daunting task but worth it.

I grew up in a large family in a large farm that belongs to my maternal grandmother. Time with my parents or anyone older than 10 years old was divided between the chickens, the pigs, the cows, the rice fields and the children. Weekends were devoted to simple pleasures of going to the supermarket which was miles away, the church or downtown. My parents were devout Catholics who made all seven of us follow strict schedules in prayer, studies and daily duties, in that order. Everything seemed to be simple because everything was fun. On how my mother coped with the demands of housekeeping, rearing, accounting, managing and being a wife is amazing.

Today, that I have a family of my own, I still maintain the principle of simple living and that was how I got through the most difficult periods of family life and motherhood. As the world grew complicated and fast-paced the harder it is to grow children and no matter how I tried to hold back their innocence everything just keeps moving forward. There is no hard-driven rule on how to raise kids, each family has its own culture, and one thing might work for one but not for the other but there are basic fundamentals that I know works for all.

Schedule

“My hour for tea is half-past five, and my buttered toast waits for nobody.”
Wilkie Collins, The Woman in White

Stick to it and be consistent. Let the children know how the day will run, wake up time, bath time, eating time, sleeping time, TV time, play time, prayer time. Whether you are a housewife, a single or a working mother, adherence to schedules is a requirement to be able to keep your sanity because it slowly becomes a habit to children, so even without you prompting everything proceeds as planned, no matter what comes. This gives you some leeway for life’s little surprises like a child waking up in the middle of the night or emergencies, plus you get the bonus of having your “alone” time work around that schedule.

Attitude

“Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference.” ― Winston Churchill

No tantrums in both private and public places, good manners is non-negotiable, be considerate of other people’s feelings, learn to listen, say-it-don’t-cry-it are just the basics. Rules hone attitude. There will be times when it will be really challenging to implement rules especially with young children but do not give up; it is always a war of willpower with them. Their time will come when they can implement their own set of rules, but for now, it is your turf so you govern. Learning to say “No” will give you less headache not only now but in the years to come. And when they are older and more exposed to the intricacies of the world, saying “No” will be one of their best defense.

Priorities

“Desires dictate our priorities, priorities shape our choices, and choices determine our actions.” ― Dallin H. Oaks

Writing down what needed to be accomplished according to importance in a day will save you a lot of wasted energy. Make adjustments if it’s necessary and only if it is. If given two options, buying a diaper because you ran out and entertaining a surprise visit from your boss who happened to be in the neighborhood, which would you rather have at the moment, a crying baby in discomfort or a boss who feels unwelcomed? Certainly you cannot explain to a one-year old so you have to excuse yourself from your surprise guest, kindly, of course, explaining it matter of factly. Do you get the drift? Set priorities according to importance and not urgency. If you need to wake up an hour early to get everything accomplished then do it because you know that it’ll give you a more relaxed evening later. If everything on your list did not get accomplished because something more important came up, don’t stress yourself, hopefully those were the ones that were least in your list and would the first order of the day tomorrow.

Independence and Responsibility

“To find yourself, think for yourself.” ― Socrates

I have seen many children make a scene if their parents do not cater to their every need; this is the worst thing every parent wants to be caught in. Teaching your child how to be independent will give you more time to do other things. Let him learn how to eat on his own, set him up together with the family during meals and he will learn his table manners by observing how everybody is. It might be a bit messy at first but it will be worth it because you won’t have to run around the house, cajoling them with a spoon in your hands, spilling everything before it reaches their mouth. I wouldn’t ever want to be tired that way. On your set schedule for bath time, let them prepare their own clothes, guiding them on what to wear (pajamas for bedtime, good clean clothes for church, etc) then have them take a bath by themselves, teaching them at first and then watching them do it and then voila, they are on their own. Teach them how to pour their own water from the pitcher when they want to drink, or to make their own beds after waking up, or how to clean their bedroom. The more menial tasks you do for them, the more they will let you do it when it should be the other way around. It teaches them responsibility and accountability and becomes the groundwork for their later years. When it comes to tasks, you are there to help them and not do it for them.

Setting time for yourself

“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.” - Lucille Ball

You are the most important character in your family, everyone else moves around you so it is easy to get lost in the clamor of daily life, catering to everyone’s needs and demands, and eventually forget who you are. So give yourself the same valuable time as you give to the rest of them. Set a time for yourself, a time for your thoughts, for your passion, for your endeavors and you will not go around blindfolded not knowing where to go. I wake up an hour early before others; I take this time for prayer, for meditation, for some reading and to enjoy the solitude before the whole house awakens and grab me in all directions. Unless an emergency occurs, never compromise this date with yourself. In due time, they will learn to respect your time alone.

Being a parent, whether in a marriage or as a single person, is one of life’s best gifts, so it is to be enjoyed and cherished. You will make mistakes, a lot of them, there will be trials and errors but as long as you know the ground rules, you will be fine.










Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • Coffeeatdawn profile imageAUTHOR

      MB 

      5 years ago from Philippines

      Thanks Tirralan! I guess nothing beats experience. Parenting can be hair-pulling at times but is really a wonderful and amazing experience...and you receive the love and wisdom you give to children 100 times over.

    • Careermommy profile image

      Tirralan Watkins 

      5 years ago from Los Angeles, CA

      Coffeatdawn, from one parent to another, well-down. Good tips all the way through, and lastly, making time for yourself tops this off just right.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)