Parenting - Our Children and all Between - Introduction
I think that I should begin with a bit about me, the author.
I am a parent, and these are my only credentials. I am not a psychologist, a psychiatrist or on any other list. But, think of it, isn’t being a parent the greatest school there is, especially after over 23 years of travelling this journey.
My knowledge is from experience, from observing others and from the realization of where we were right and where we were wrong. I say we because I have the greatest partner my wife , and as a team, we achieved what I would call, success.
Life is the greatest teacher, and we should all just look and learn, observe, and listen to what others say. Life is to take what we feel as right, correct and logical and then just do it. It is learning from mistakes, fixing them and moving on.
It is – doing
I will not try to tell you what to do, how to do it or when to do it. I will just give my impressions and experience. To use it is your decision, as is to ignore it. This is about parenting in my eyes, and just as we are all different, so is each child, mother, father and family. All of us have our own situations and indices, so just read it lightly, but think heavily.
Listen to my ideas and if they help you, great, but just enjoying my words and a glimpse into another’s impressions can be as rewarding and enlightening.
And so begins the journey that starts when the little ones are born, actually it starts before that, but that’s the fun part and not the subject of these articles.
Each child is a new experience. No two are alike and that’s how it should be. We are different, in looks, in personality, in our outlook into life and in many more aspects. Just as we are different from our partners in life, and most of us are, so are our children different from us.
Each person, from the time of birth behaves and reacts in a different manner. We as parents must first and foremost understand and accept that each child is an individual and not like any other. Our children are certainly not a replica of ourselves.
This should be a realization from the beginning, an understanding which will help us react and pro-act with our children, each separate and together as part of a family.
This understanding should be ingrained into our minds before our child is born, this knowing that the new life will be unique.
Not unique in that it is ours, this is certainly not a great success story (in normal and uncomplicated pregnancy’s and births), for giving birth is the natural continuation of the species.
The new life is unique, because it is one special identity, with all the promises before it. It is unique because it is different, and so we must cherish this, and as parents do all we can to help this uniqueness achieve a whole and meaningful life.
One of our most important roles is in nourishing the child with an environment which will help answer the question – Who am I?
The answer to Who am I will open the gates to What am I?
Who am I?
This is the question which addresses all of us. Am I a good person, am I selfish, do I compromise or am forever stubborn, am I reckless, do I take chances or always play it safe, am I ambitious or content with less and so on.
What am I? is therefore simple – a doctor, clerk, lawyer, teller or whatever we do.
The What am I can certainly impact on our happiness and content, but in a growing child it is imperative that the Who am I is first addressed. Understanding the Who am I and being truthful to oneself helps define the “What am I Goals” and bring even greater satisfaction and success in life.
We, as parents should strive to see who our children are, and give them the tools to understand who they are and how they should act and react in life. But, to be successful we should always keep an open mind. We are not always right, as I can far from it. And this I say from experience. The open mind will enable us to correct our mistakes.
The path to be taken by each growing child and becoming an adult will be decided and should be decided upon by the young adult.
We, as parents must, and yes I say must show him, or her, as best we can the opportunities and the way ahead, with all the obstacles and mountains that could block this journey.
We must be true to both ourselves and our children in our quest for the best for them and ourselves.
It is us to find the balance between these wishes for ourselves and for them.
The decision which our children will take is a result of their unique person combined with the environment. We as parents can and should make all efforts to provide and control this environment and its influences while the child is growing up.
But, as I hinted before, this decision is only part of who our child is.
The first and foremost part will be his actual identity, the who I am and not the what I am.
I will attempt to address all the questions I raised above and many more in my future hubs, taking us from childhood to adulthood, through my eyes as a parent, a father of three young adults.
We, as parents had our ups and downs, and stormed rough seas, but the experience and outcome have given me the inspiration to write.
And so I end my first Hub and hope that I have your awoken curiosity and will see you again soon.
Thanks for reading