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Parents: Our Words can Build or Break Our Kids

Updated on September 24, 2012

There is power in the Tongue and children are very sensitive. Looking after kids involves money, but there is also the spiritual/emotional side we need to cater for and a lot of this comes through the words we speak.


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How can we build our Kids with words?

A) Praise – Even from when they are toddlers. If they draw pictures for you, or share their sweets with you. Praise them – they will feel happy and motivated inside. My friend’s daughter drew a photo of me once, with a Head like humpty dumpty and two tiny legs and gave it to me with the proudest smile. I looked at it and thought to myself “oh my DayZ, is that me?” but I smiled at her and said I’d put it on my wall. She was so happy and felt encouraged to draw more pictures, bringing out the creative side of her. Thank goodness, she didn’t draw more pictures of me.

B) Positive Encouraging Words – It’s nice to let them know you believe in them and you know they will do well in school or sports competitions etc. (Even if they are finding subjects hard) still, encourage them. Telling them they are dumb, stupid and phrases like “why can’t you be like your friend next door who is so intelligent” only makes them shrink back and lose confidence in themselves.

Coleen Nolan

I was listening to one of the Nolan sisters in an Interview with a comedian - Lenny Henry, months ago. (she is below). She was in the "Dancing on Ice" competition in UK and didn’t like it when her partner picked her up on Ice. She felt very uncomfortable.

Why? When she was young, she ran to one of her Uncle's and when he picked her up, he jokingly said she was very heavy. Well, that stuck with her till today, even though she is married with kids.

Coleen Nolan with Danicing Partner

C) Prayer or Positive Affirmations – If you are a Christian/Muslim, pray over your children. There are a lot of freaky accidents that happen these days that I believe if prayers are said, it wouldn’t happen. Kids falling out of windows from skyscrapers, or falling off balconies on holiday, being mauled by dogs/foxes, abductions etc. If you don’t believe in prayer then consider making positive affirmations over your child.

“My child will be a success in life”. My child will not end up in a gang”. "My Child will always be safe." and other wonderful things you wish for your child.

We’ve seen it all before, kids who come from beautiful, well educated families, but sadly end up with the wrong crowd. Some live iin the same house as their parents, but still commit suicide. We can’t always be with them, but our prayers will.

Some countries are known for kidnapping kids and using them for rituals to make money. In one such Country – years ago, some kids were kidnapped, but when it came to the turn of a particular kid to be used, they just couldn’t. They had to let him go because they felt very uncomfortable with him. Why? He came from a strong Christian family. He must have been covered with daily prayers and positive affirmations.

✰♡*•˛ Thanks so much for reading. •*



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    • Lady_E profile image

      Elena 6 years ago from London, UK

      Thanks so much Ubanichijioke;

      Glad you stopped by. I'm sure your kids will do you proud..... when they arrive. :)

    • ubanichijioke profile image

      Alexander Thandi Ubani 6 years ago from Lagos

      All the steps analyzed and explained set the standard. When i give birth to my own kids, this surely will be handy. You re an excellent, well informed and awesome writer. You ve benefitted me. Bless you Lady E

    • Lady_E profile image

      Elena 6 years ago from London, UK

      Hi Support Med

      Thanks for letting me know.

      Take Care. x

    • Support Med. profile image

      Support Med. 6 years ago from Michigan

      Hello there Lady_E: In response to:

      ** Hi Support Med - Sorry, haven't logged in for a few days. If people can see the videos and you can't then it might be something to do with your computer. Maybe try viewing the hubs from work or any other computer and see what happens.

      Let me know how you get on.

      Best Wishes, Elena xx

      I have not yet checked from another computer, but I tried a different search engine and all went well. But whenever I try a certain one - it does not work - I'm certain others are not having the same problems as it is a huge search engine and if everyone was affected much would be said about it everywhere - maybe a tune up is needed. After I started using the search engine that works, I'm sticking to it. Thanks for the input.

    • Lady_E profile image

      Elena 6 years ago from London, UK

      ** StayPos - Thanks. I'm glad you agree and encourage it. Best Wishes.

    • StayPos profile image

      StayPos 6 years ago from Florida, USA


      This is a wonderful hub filled with truth and substance!

      It’s so very important to build self-esteem and character through the positive words we speak to children!

      Actually, this applies across the board to all human beings :-)

      Thanks for sharing!

      Up and Awesome!

    • Lady_E profile image

      Elena 6 years ago from London, UK

      ** Hi James - Thanks so much for stopping. Yes, it is sad. I hope the situation has stopped. Take care.

      ** Fashion - Thanks so much for stopping.

      ** Hi Support Med - Sorry, haven't logged in for a few days. If people can see the videos and you can't then it might be something to do with your computer. Maybe try viewing the hubs from work or any other computer and see what happens.

      Let me know how you get on.

      Best Wishes, Elena xx

    • Support Med. profile image

      Support Med. 6 years ago from Michigan

      You did a great job encourging the little artist, lol!!! That's sweet. And your hub is so true - Confidence is a necessity and our children take our words to heart (and sometimes in the depths of their soul - which makes the negative hard to let go of). Keep encouraging! v/r

      Lady_E, while I'm here, just wanted to ask for your expert computer advice. I'm not seeing my videos on any of my hubs, but seems others are seeing them. Is there any advice you can give me. Is there a software system I need or what. I don't understand as videos were showing but all of a sudden stopped, and this is on all of my hubs. Thanks.

    • profile image

      fashion 6 years ago

      Great hub.children take much effect of their parent`s attitude and words.

    • James Agbogun profile image

      James Agbogun 6 years ago

      Your Friend's daughter must be very creative! It's such a Hearty Hub on good Parenting.

      It's depressing to see Militants and Fanatics (like Boko Haram) disrupt the Peace of Innocent people.

    • Lady_E profile image

      Elena 6 years ago from London, UK

      ** Vitalestsweets - Thanks so much.

      ** Cheers Paul, you got me blushing again. I appreciate your comments. I hope you enjoy the summer hols with your kids.

      Ps. I know your in Kent. If you haven't been to Danson Park, it's a lovely place to go. Kids can row in Canoes too.

      Greenwich Park is Massive with lots of flower gardens and space for kids to run.

      Crystal Palace Park has attractions for kids. Dinosaurs and a Farm. All Free.

      Best Wishes.

    • Lady_E profile image

      Elena 6 years ago from London, UK

      ** Aaaawh Hello Hello.... no one is perfect and there is no parent on this planet that wouldn't say they could have done better with their kids. Whatever you did, you did out of Love.

      Look on the positive side - You are in a better position to advice your kids on parenting skills.

    • Lady_E profile image

      Elena 6 years ago from London, UK

      ** Hennie - I really like that comment and it made me recall when I was naughty (about 4 or 6) when out with my parents. All my mun needed to do, was give me "a look" from the other side of the room and I'd sit quietly. lol

      Very wise words you shared there. Thanks.

      ** Sweetie - That's so True. I'm glad you shared that.

      ** DrPastorCarlotta - Thanks. They are indeed gifts. Very precious. God Bless.

      ** Youmeget - Thanks for stopping.

      ** Androdmida - Lol. Good advice. They should visit often. On a serious note, I learn a lot from Hubpages about different aspects of life. Lots of Technical stuff from you too. :)

    • profile image

      paulgc 6 years ago

      Hello Lady_E,

      Your article has made me think about how i am with my kids and although i do encourage my children i have realised that i could do more.

      I enjoyed reading your article and have found it to be very interesting and useful,you are a gifted writer and i am glad that i follow you.

      Thanks for sharing, voted up and awesome.

    • vitalesweets profile image

      vitalesweets 6 years ago from Upstate NY

      Wonderful hub, thank you for this!

    • Hello, hello, profile image

      Hello, hello, 6 years ago from London, UK

      I know what you mean, Lady_E, I experienced it first hand -- to break kids.

    • andromida profile image

      syras mamun 6 years ago

      Little bit of encouragement is what most kids need to develop their true human qualities.I found that most of the parents become parents before they are mentally prepared to take the responsibilities of their kids.I wish every mum and dad visit hubpages regularly :)



    • youmeget profile image

      youmeget 6 years ago

      Very good hub. Thank you.

    • drpastorcarlotta profile image

      Pastor Dr. Carlotta Boles 6 years ago from BREAKOUT MINISTRIES, INC. KC

      GREAT JOB!!! Our kids need us to love them and edify them. God has given them to us as a gift and hold us responsible for their care. Voted-Up!

    • sweetie1 profile image

      sweetie1 6 years ago from India

      Hi lady E children are always looking for praise from their parents when they do something food. it means a lot to them and they can be dejected if it doesnt come. So i think every parent should be very careful what he or she says to children or even in front of them

    • HennieN profile image

      HennieN 6 years ago from South Africa

      Great hub. We can also make or break our children by what they see. Even without saying a word, our body language will speak much louder then we know. A simple nod of the head at the right time can move mountains.

    • Royalmark profile image

      Royalmark 6 years ago from Lagos, Nigeria

      Yeah! They are fond of that and I think the reason is solely because they want their children to be better or preferably, best and they are like:

      "If he can do that, why can't you? Does Ikenna have two heads? Is Ade's head larger than yours, eh, Chukwuka?"

      Lol... Funny statements.

      Lol. You mean something like 'Chukwuka Okwukwe-Inspiration Chukwuka', right? ;-)

      Thanks for the compliment. I'm glad you love and I hope others do/grow to love it.

      Last examination paper tomorrow. :-)

    • Lady_E profile image

      Elena 6 years ago from London, UK

      @Dexter - So True. I believe it is affecting the world today. Body image / Anorexia / Joining Gangs etc.

      Thanks for stopping.

      @Acaetnna - Thanks for sharing those important foundations. (Love and Respect). Take Care.

      @Anglnwu - Thanks so much for that. They indeed need love and affirmation to thrive. Even a hug, goes a long way. You made me remember Karen Carpenter who hurt so much, because her mum never told her that she loved her. It pushed her to Anorexia and it wasn't a happy ending.

      Thanks for sharing those comments. Best Wishes

    • anglnwu profile image

      anglnwu 6 years ago

      I agree with all your suggestions. Kids need affirmation and love to thrive. I love the picture your friend's daughter drew. Love it!

    • acaetnna profile image

      acaetnna 6 years ago from Guildford

      To teach a child to love and respect are the foundations for a wonderful future. A great hub as always Lady_E.

    • Dexter Yarbrough profile image

      Dexter Yarbrough 6 years ago from United States

      Great hub! Praise, love and positive encouragement are missing in a lot of children and families. Probably why we have problems in many parts of the world today.

      Thanks for sharing!

    • Lady_E profile image

      Elena 6 years ago from London, UK

      @Ahorseback - Very strong words. I'm glad you shared that. Thanks so much.

      @Prasetio - Thanks. Indeed they are investment for the future and thank God that there are people like you who play an important role in this. God Bless you too.

      @Wavegirl - Thanks so much. I hope you are in touch with Jai. He'll be glad to hear from you. Take Care.

      @EjazAhmed - Thanks for your encouragment. I am glad you stopped by.

      @Ruby - great point raised. That would sure reduce bullying and loss of confidence/self esteem. Best Wishes.

      @Dave - That's a beautiful thing to do. I like that and it sticks with them forever. Stay very blessed.

      @RoyalMark - Yeah. African parents have strong habit of doing that. I'm so glad my parents didn't and very glad that you have forgotten all of it too. "Inspiration" should be your middle name. I love your new website which is geared to bring out the best in people. Cheers.

    • Dave Mathews profile image

      Dave Mathews 6 years ago from NORTH YORK,ONTARIO,CANADA

      All we can do is to accent the positive things in life, making certain that God is a part of their main focus. ie. "Jesus is watching, how do you think He feels about the way you are acting or behaving, or your choices." We must be also willing to enforce our words with positive actions if necessary with punitive punishment like a spanking if need be.

    • always exploring profile image

      Ruby Jean Richert 6 years ago from Southern Illinois

      One of the most important duties given us is to teach our children to love and respect all people everywhere. Thank you

    • Royalmark profile image

      Royalmark 6 years ago from Lagos, Nigeria

      Funny pic the little girl drew.

      Militancy and abduction in Nigeria is a shame.

      Back to the hub, it's a good expository one and I must say that I really hate when Mum or Dad compares me with the kid next door. This really pisses me off so bad but I'm growing out of it (actually laughing it off when being compared).

      Some children might not be like that and it affects them in life.

    • ejazahmed2609 profile image

      ejazahmed2609 6 years ago from Abu Dahbi, UAE

      Lady_E you have raised some considerable point. our children need more concentration and encouragement at every time and we should treat our children in the same pattern that you have mentioned. thanks.

    • wavegirl22 profile image

      Shari 6 years ago from New York, NY

      Lady_E - "Our children are our future and we all need to Teach them well and let them lead the way."As always, you are spot on with a message of beauty and inspiration.

    • prasetio30 profile image

      prasetio30 6 years ago from malang-indonesia

      You have a beautiful hub and complete with useful information. I love your tips above. Children are an investment in the future. The must filled and supported with good things. As a teacher who I always surrounded by kids, I give my VOTE to you. God bless you!


    • ahorseback profile image

      ahorseback 6 years ago

      One word a day of good or bad can build a young soul into a king a queen , or detroy them a moment at a time. Many of us have seen this happen to ourselves or others , I cannot imagine the selfeshness that would feed someones ego by distroying a child's self worth! Self esteme is probably the most important ingrediant to the whole person within! Awesome hub "M~Lady"!.....:-}