Parents, raise your own kids!
My opinion on one factor that is causing our country and society to go downhill:
OK, first of all I know I'm going to get bashed by a lot of parents because I've written on this subject before and was bombarded with defensive, rude, and derrogatory comments. But let's get real with ourselves!
One of the biggest reasons that our country and society are in the crapper is because parents are not raising their own children anymore. God did not form us to have our neighbor or old Mrs. Johnson nurturing, teaching, and loving our children. Humans were made to nurture, instruct, and show love and affection to their own offspring!
I am a woman and I thank God for civil rights and women's rights that were fought so hard for in the past. But if you look back to the late 1970's, early 1980's, this is when the tumble of society began. Women wanted to work so bad and have equal opportunity and to show that they are just as virile and strong and are an asset to our country that they didn't see this coming.
Now we have not only one parent out of the home working 40/50/60+ hours a week, but we have both parents out of the home working these same hours. This makes no sense to me whatsoever. What is the reason for this? I'm all for a father or a mother staying home with their kids, this has nothing to do with women's rights per se. But why would you want to have children and then ship them off to a stranger every day for nearly the entire day and evening? Do you not understand the importance of a parents nurturing/educating/loving? Children grow inside their mothers wombs and have a deep connection to her just based on that fact alone, we are supposed to take care of them and share skin on skin contact with them until they're too old for it around age 5 (in my opinion). And I don't mean you need to be lying there nude with your child, what I mean is they need human interaction with their parents to be completely whole as a human being. We are depriving them of this initial need. Some mothers go back to work a week after they have their babies, or a month or three months. In my opinion this is not acceptable.
What is the reason we're working so much?
To me, there's no reason for it. I know life is expensive, bills pile up and many of us are living paycheck to paycheck. But let me tell you this. I was married for 15 years and was a stay-at-home-mom for nearly that entire time. My husband started out, when we were 20 and 21 years old, making $8-$9/hr. We had two children by the time he was 21 and I was 22 and we did it. So can you!! We went without our Latte's and 1000 satellite channels and internet for the longest time. We rarely went out to eat and we grew some of our own vegetables and herbs. Of course that's not an option for everyone but there are a million ways out there to save money, you're just choosing not to.
Is that SUV or 3-story house really worth missing all of this time with your children? Who cares if you have the best of everything? Your best of everything should be your pride in your children! We didn't have new cars or a brand new house but we raised our children the best we could and I believe they've grown up alot better than other children just for the fact that their father and I were always there for them. He worked but he's a very affectionate father, moreso than most. He has our kids doing everything with them, he has taught them so many things that I couldn't have taught them, as a woman/mother. But you have to put in the effort.
If you're working 40-60 hrs/week, who is taking care of YOUR children? Not only that, now society says we can't discipline our children appropriately and mediocrity is the norm. And we're allowing this. We're not discipling our children enough because we have all of this guilt about never being home with them and shipping them off to Do-Do's Daycare where there are 20 other children vying for the babysitters attention. Please, before you jump down my throat and before you take this as an insult, just realize that you know I am right about this. Parents of adolescents and teens are out working and leaving their kids home alone to raise themselves when they're old enough to, and we wonder why prisons are full of young people???? If parents were home monitoring them, they'd never be there in the first place!!
And don't get me wrong, I'm not saying this is true for 100% of people, I know better. But for the most part this is our society now. It's almost like we're expected to live this way just because everyone else is. Gotta keep up with the Jones's....that's crap. I'll take anyone's bullshit judgement about my crappy car or house that needs new carpet anyday. I know that I spent all of that precious time with my children for a reason and it is paying off. My children are still normal children, they have their days just like us adults do. But they're against bullying, they help other children, they love kids and treat them with respect, they are well-behaved, great kids that get good grades in school and have fabulous goals for their future. So I'm proud of the way that I'm raising my children even though I'm not perfect.
I'm not trying to judge anyone, I just see this as a problem in society as a whole:
Please, I welcome your comments and questions. This is something I am very passionate about and will advocate this as long as I live. Our children need US, not someone else, to raise them. I don't necessarily think one parent has to be home full-time, but one parent needs to be there when the kids get home from school, so that they have that love, nurturing, structure, and discipline that humans need to thrive. Every minute you spend with your child matters and just remember that disciplining them doesn't need to be spankings, I always used time-outs or standing in the corner, they hate that!!! And the naughtier they get, the longer they stand in the corner with their noses touching the corner and their hands on their backsides. Or they sit on that couch by themselves with no stimulation whatsoever like TV or other children or toys. It's a proven scientific fact that children crave discipline and consistency. Just think about this and look at what you and your family can do to make sure your children are being loved and nurtured like they're supposed to be. I realize there are single parents out there that don't have that luxury but then you need to make sure you're home as much as possible either way. Get a different job, cut your hours, change your hours, make sure their other parent is involved or another family member that you trust. As I said, there are many circumstances where this is not an option but if you're doing your job as a parent while you're with your children and not worried about the crumbs on the counter and the load of laundry that needs to be done, good job because those things are not important compared to spending quality time with your child. If anyone comes over to your house and says anything about the sticky floors or the mess in the bedroom, don't invite them over anymore. Use those precious moments on your children. Do laundry when they're sleeping or save it for the weekends. There are many ways we can tweak our schedules to love and nurture our children. Let's all try it.
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