Plea to Parents with Daughters
I keep finding your daughters out on the town, dressed like wee hookers, batting their eyes at anything with an XY chromosome. I am here to tell you this is NOT normal teenage behavior! Stop blaming your lack of parenting on hormones! I am tired of cringing every time I go to some public place where one of your poor lost daughters is and trying to stay uninvolved as they try to latch themselves on to whatever teenage boy they can in the futile attempt to get genuine affection.
I hear you complain all the time that raising girls in our society is hard, that there's too many pictures of anorexic models in the media to aspire to, that sex is everywhere, that girls just don't know where they belong in our changing society. Some of you may complain popular teen culture like the Twilight series provides the perfect model for an abusive relationship and you know what? You are right about all of these thing but there is a cure! It's called parenting!
Where were you when your little girl was trolluping about the mall buying mini skirts and enough make-up to kill thirty lab animals? Where were you when she put them on?? Where were you when she got the idea that being pretty is where her self worth is? Let me give you some advice, stop ignoring these things and putting it under "teenage rebellion" and stop trying to be their friend by not calling them out on this.
Parenting starts when your baby is born. It's your job to give this growing child everything they need to cope with the big bad world and that includes a healthy self image. High self esteem is not acquired at public school through the use of participation stickers, it's won through genuine confirmation and love.
If you are the parent of a girl please do me a favor. Sit down with her and tell her she's beautiful, and not beautiful in the sense she's pretty but beautiful in the sense that she is a unique person like no one else in the world and that she is an important person who is loved by a lot of people. Tell her she's remarkable, intelligent, loving, caring, kind. Tell her you love her, tell her you respect her feelings and thoughts, tell her you are proud of her, and most of all tell her no matter what you will always love her like the day she was born. If she has this wealth of support of love flowing through her precious little mind she will remember this stronger than she'll remember the airbrushed photos on the magazines. Tell her that no boy or man who shows disrespect or abuse will EVER be good enough for her. Tell her she does not have to put up with bullshit. Tell her to aim for the stars because you know she can achieve it. Teach her to love herself as much as you love her and she will go through this world with her head held high. It won't matter if she doesn't look 'perfect', she'll know that she's perfect on the inside and that's all that matters.
If this article made a lot of sense to you try reading its follow-up Plea to Parents with Sons or other articles by Theophanes: