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Plea to Parents with Daughters

Updated on July 20, 2017
Theophanes profile image

Theophanes is a New England-based blogger, traveler, writer, photographer, sculptor, and lover of life.

Dear Parents,

I keep finding your daughters out on the town, dressed like wee hookers, batting their eyes at anything with an XY chromosome. I am here to tell you this is NOT normal teenage behavior! Stop blaming your lack of parenting on hormones! I am tired of cringing every time I go to some public place where one of your poor lost daughters is and trying to stay uninvolved as they try to latch themselves on to whatever teenage boy they can in the futile attempt to get genuine affection.

I hear you complain all the time that raising girls in our society is hard, that there's too many pictures of anorexic models in the media to aspire to, that sex is everywhere, that girls just don't know where they belong in our changing society. Some of you may complain popular teen culture like the Twilight series provides the perfect model for an abusive relationship and you know what? You are right about all of these thing but there is a cure! It's called parenting!

Where were you when your little girl was trolluping about the mall buying mini skirts and enough make-up to kill thirty lab animals? Where were you when she put them on?? Where were you when she got the idea that being pretty is where her self worth is? Let me give you some advice, stop ignoring these things and putting it under "teenage rebellion" and stop trying to be their friend by not calling them out on this.

Parenting starts when your baby is born. It's your job to give this growing child everything they need to cope with the big bad world and that includes a healthy self image. High self esteem is not acquired at public school through the use of participation stickers, it's won through genuine confirmation and love.

If you are the parent of a girl please do me a favor. Sit down with her and tell her she's beautiful, and not beautiful in the sense she's pretty but beautiful in the sense that she is a unique person like no one else in the world and that she is an important person who is loved by a lot of people. Tell her she's remarkable, intelligent, loving, caring, kind. Tell her you love her, tell her you respect her feelings and thoughts, tell her you are proud of her, and most of all tell her no matter what you will always love her like the day she was born. If she has this wealth of support of love flowing through her precious little mind she will remember this stronger than she'll remember the airbrushed photos on the magazines. Tell her that no boy or man who shows disrespect or abuse will EVER be good enough for her. Tell her she does not have to put up with bullshit. Tell her to aim for the stars because you know she can achieve it. Teach her to love herself as much as you love her and she will go through this world with her head held high. It won't matter if she doesn't look 'perfect', she'll know that she's perfect on the inside and that's all that matters.

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    • Theophanes profile imageAUTHOR

      Theophanes Avery 

      4 years ago from New England

      Thank you for your kind comments Camille. It is indeed becoming a bigger issue, especially with the dumbing down of our culture. I have a link to my article on boys at the end of this one if you want to check it out. I am not sure it came out as good but it's what I think about the issue in any event! Thank you for stopping by to comment!

    • Camille Harris profile image

      Camille Harris 

      4 years ago from SF Bay Area

      Brava! And sadly, St. Clair Jack's statement ("a reminder that common sense is now soo very uncommon that it will soon be qualified as a super power!") is all too true. I feel for parents who have to parent against the hypersexual/attention-seeking "role models" of today. I would love to see a plea to parents of boys as well, as they are at least 50% of the problem. Well done!

    • Theophanes profile imageAUTHOR

      Theophanes Avery 

      5 years ago from New England

      Yes, I have been asked to do a follow-up article on what boys need to know and have been considering it. It really just comes down to paying attention to your children and instilling good values in them. Soooo many people just think these things come naturally or the church or school will teach this for them when really they should get off their butts and take responsibility for the lives they've brought into this world!

    • That Grrl profile image

      Laura Brown 

      5 years ago from Barrie, Ontario, Canada

      It's not just girls who need to hear and know these things. My nephew is 17 now and treats women well, he also has a sense of himself in the world and values other people. I have always told him these things, made sure he knows how valued he is and given him rules. He didn't always like the rules, he sometimes was angry or upset with me for making and enforcing the rules. But, this past year he told me "love isn't something people just say, it's in what they do". He told me how glad he was that I was there and gave him love.

    • JessicaSmetz profile image

      Just Ask Jess 

      6 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

      Great hub! I have three daughters and hope they don't end up acting badly like that.

    • Eduwriter profile image

      Eduwriter 

      6 years ago

      Awesome hub. How I wish parents would realize this. You aren't there to be a child's friend, you are there to be their parent. With respect, comes a feeling that it like friendship, but it's so much more.

    • Theophanes profile imageAUTHOR

      Theophanes Avery 

      6 years ago from New England

      Thank you. :)

    • stclairjack profile image

      Stclairjack 

      6 years ago from middle of freekin nowhere,... the sticks

      as always,... a reminder that common sense is now soo very uncommon that it will soon be qualified as a super power!

      well done,... two thumbs way up!

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