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Raising Boys To Be Men: Tips For Single Moms
Boys and Moms
Raising Boys Alone
Being a parent of boys is fun, busy, and very memorable. They can make you laugh one minute and drive you crazy the next. That is the joy of those adorable, mischievous boys. What happens, though, when boys are being raised without a father influence in the home? Does it affect what kind of adult they become? What can you do, as a single mom, to provide your boys with positive male role models in their lives? These are some of the questions that we moms ask ourselves when we embark on raising our boys on our own. Here are some answers to those unending questions.
Find Positive Male Role Models
Helping Your Boys Grow
So, you find yourself in a position of being a single mom with boys. What should you do to raise your sons to be well-adjusted young men? Let us look at several ways to help your boys become confident and well-balanced adults.
1. One thing you can do is to get your boys involved in activities where they will have interaction with positive male role models. Every boy has different likes and dislikes, so find an activity that he enjoys. If you have an athletic son, then get him involved with a sport that he likes. If you go to church, get him involved with the youth programs that are available there. If your son likes the arts (painting, music, etc.), find a place where he can take lessons from a male instructor. There are other activities as well, such as Cub Scouts, Boy Scouts, Big Brother programs, and many more. It is important for boys to have male role models to emulate.
2. Do not be afraid to teach your boys a female perspective on how they should act. You, as their mom, can teach them to open doors for girls. You can teach them the proper way to treat a young lady on a date (paying for them, asking what they would like, etc.). You can teach them that it is okay to express their feelings to others. You can help them to understand what words and actions are proper when being involved in a relationship. Too often boys are left to imitate the behaviors of others, which may or may not lead to acting in a manner that would be considered appropriate in a relationship. We need to promote those positive aspects from a female point of view.
3. If you have family or friends that live close to you and your boys, try to do activities with them often to give your boys more exposure to healthy relationships and strong male role models. You will often find that your sons will look to these men for guidance. For example, some friends of ours have two boys of their own that are friends with my boys. The father of this family has become a role model for all of my boys, and he treats them like his own sons. These types of relationships are important for them to explore their own growth and understanding of how to behave.
Single moms are amazing people. Somehow they juggle work, home, chores, transportation, holidays, and so many more things, without the help of another parent. Your boys see the trials and tribulations that often come with trying to handle all these responsibilities. Although you may feel that your boys should not see your struggles, it is an awareness that is not necessarily bad. Your boys will appreciate what they have and be more willing to take on responsibilities in the home, which are all life skills that will only aid them in becoming responsible and caring adults. Sometimes less is more.
Keeping Communication Open
One of the most crucial things that all parents often forget is how important it is to communicate effectively with your kids. Boys often struggle in the communication department, so you must teach them early on that communication is the key to everything that will encompass their lives. There is no aspect in their lives that will not be impacted, either positively or negatively, by their ability or lack of ability to communicate. I think that single moms have an advantage here because our boys do not feel like they are competing for that much needed time to talk about things that are important to them. As a single mom, our efforts to communicate need to be much greater as our boys rely on us to lead them in the right direction. If you can teach your boys to communicate well, they will definitely be on the right track to being a responsible adult.
The End Result
Being a single mom is a lot of hard work, especially when raising boys, but the rewards and blessings are so much greater because of your effort. Your boys will not be emotionally inadequate because there is no male role model in the home, especially if the example from their own father was less than stellar. Surround your boys with positive male influences, help them to learn the proper ways a young man should behave, and encourage them to communicate. If you can do these things, your boys will grow up to be the fine young men that they were always meant to be.
Guide to Single Parenthood
Tips on Raising Boys
- How To Raise Boys - Tips for Raising Sons - Woman's Day
Read what the experts have to say about bringing up a son with character at WomansDay.com.
Single Mom and Her Sons
- Single Moms Raising Boys | Better Parents, Better Families
One of the questions I'm continually asked by single moms is, "What simple advice can you give me to help raise my boy to become a good man?"