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Raising a Gay Child

Updated on September 5, 2011

No big issues, seriously! Though considered as an issue of taboo in India, but still wish to discuss this as one major parenting issue. Raising a gay child can be a cause of concern if parents take it that way. It’s all about accepting the fact though. Now it’s entirely on you how you take it.I have known and read about parents who get ignorant with the idea of their child being gay even when they learn about it way before the child knows it. A child may start showing signs of being a gay right from the age of 5, but not in all cases. A case study which recently I read explained how a boy aged 5 watched his mom wearing makeup and would try wearing one when she wasn’t home. The same boy would wear his mom’s high heels and wrap her scarf around him and walk all around the house. He was more interested in playing with dolls other than sports and cars.His mom on the other hand adored it in the beginning, ignoring the signs the child showed. But when later she realized how things had shaped up and how she kept being ignorant finally blaming the child for everything he felt and believed he was.

Above all what concerns a parent more is the slightest idea of the reaction they would receive from the society. Not to forget our family, friends and relatives. It is definitely not a thing which gets digested fast, forget the accolades! What a parent worries more is how the child would survive in this world which is always ready to discriminate and humiliate. People are always ready to hurt those who are already hurt and sexual orientation of your child may invite more worries every single day from the world around you. But finally what an ideal parent should do for his kid is accept and support.

Let the child know it is not his fault

It’s nobody’s fault anyways! When a child realizes he is gay, he starts blaming himself and wonders where he went wrong. On the other hand parents blame him too, which makes it for an additional burden the child carries and feels ashamed about. Do assure your child in such cases that there nothing to be blamed and nothing to be ashamed of.

Accept what you would be dealing with

It is hard enough to accept, but just learn to do it. Prepare yourself to accept and strongly stand behind your kid as a pillar of strength which is enough for him to save himself from this wild world.

Never allow sexual identity issues within adolescents turn out to be cause of concern

A teen or an adolescent may get bit confused and wary about the sexual identity issues in this stage. Don’t make it difficult for them by adding more problems and social concerns.

As I said, it’s all about accepting the fact as a parent

Parents find it difficult to accept the fact about their gay child. But it is just similar to “My child is a girl” and “My child is a boy”.

Ask your child to stop fooling himself

How hard a child pretend to be straight, it may get more and more complex for him. Things can’t be better by being pretentious of what you are not really. Thus a child can’t try any harder ignoring the fact or hiding the fact of being a gay and posing someone else.

Finally he’s still your child

Even if it’s hard for you to accept, never forget that it’s your child whose life and identity is at stake. So whatever happens always stand by him and support him undoubtedly. Don’t ever turn your back on him whatever happens, as you are the only one he will look for whenever the world turns against him.

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    • Fellow Mumbaite profile image
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      Fellow Mumbaite 6 years ago from India

      Thanks AUPADHYAY..for visiting and reading my hub! Just trying to focus on parenting and various aspects related to it!

    • AUPADHYAY profile image

      ANIL KUMAR UPADHYAY 6 years ago from INDIA, UTTAR PRADESH STATE, KANPUR CITY

      Undoubtedly an excellent hub towards parenting aspect of life. Well done. I vote it up.

    • Fellow Mumbaite profile image
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      Fellow Mumbaite 6 years ago from India

      yes gmwilliams..you are absolutely right about this..hope every parent learns to accept this fact which would allow a child to live and express himself fearlessly.

    • gmwilliams profile image

      Grace Marguerite Williams 6 years ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York

      A child is a beautiful, unique, and divine entity. Each child should be accepted for who he/she is. No child should be a carbon copy of another and forced to conform into a societal mold. Love and accept your child-your child is a wonderful gift from God.